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  1. #1
    Affiliate Manager Alan Hamilton's Avatar
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    No one ever wishes me a happy birthday!!
    Soon I will have had three birthdays since moving to this neighborhood, and yet not ONE happy birthday wish has ever been offered. How do you think this makes me feel? Regardless of my hardened exterior and strong inner confidence, I too have feelings. I'm a sensitive, caring, loving, thoughtful, kind, thrifty, compassionate, charming, witty, loyal, trustworthy, near genius, wise, experienced, interesting, accomplished, great dad, husband and friend. So where are the voices of well wishers when that special day in my life arrives each year????

    Oh sure, if Haiko has cream of wheat for breakfast there are 1,012 posts from the usual kiss-ups about how wonderful it is that he eats wheat based products and how his choice of breakfast foods has changed the course of history. But let Alan have a birthday and it's total silence... I feel like the role model for the Sprint "you can hear a pin drop" commercials!!

    Well I've had enough..... From now on, I'm not wishing anyone a happy birthday, and I don't care whose feelings it hurts. I've been stepped on, ignored, neglected, kept down by "the man" and otherwise abused for long enough. Oh sure, I'll keep contributing that unique perspective and knowledge that is so uniquely me, but no more Mr. nice guy!! So if you have a birthday coming up, SO WHAT!! WHO CARES??? You didn't do squat to justify some special recognition on the anniversary of your birth. You had nothing to do with being born, so get over it!! Others can author goody two shoes posts with the standard copy/paste emoticons and the customary happy B-day jive, but this Marine ain't joinin the crowd anymore!

    As a matter of fact.................... Oops, I just noticed........ I never added a birthdate to my ABW profile, - never mind!!
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  2. #2
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    So, when's your birthday Alan? LOL

    If it's today or even in this past or coming week, let me be the first to wish you a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    And yeah, if you didn't add your bday in your profile, how the hell are we supposed to know it's your birthday?!!!
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  3. #3
    The Seal of Aproval rematt's Avatar
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    Yeah, yeah. Happy Birthday ya old coot. Whenever it was!

    -rematt
    "I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." - Richard Nixon

  4. #4
    ABW Ambassador Lanadili's Avatar
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    Happy Birthday Alan!

    So what day is your birthday actually on?

  5. #5
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    I'm sorry - I didn't know that vampires had birthdays - oops a different thread

  6. #6
    Visual Artist & ABW Ambassador lostdeviant's Avatar
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    Happy (late) Birthday Alan!


    Mark your calendar. Mine is on June 2nd :-P

  7. #7
    What's the word? Rhia7's Avatar
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    Happy Birthday
    ~Rhia7 -- Remember the 7
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  8. #8
    Affiliate Manager Alan Hamilton's Avatar
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    It's NOT my birthday you goons!!! Not even close, but thanks for the thought!!! My comments were just pure fun humor

    Rex - I don't post my birthday in my profile. I'm not sure I remember when it is, but I know I have one each year.... ;-)
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  9. #9
    Moderator MichaelColey's Avatar
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    So that's how you stay so young. You just don't put your birthday in your profile!
    Michael Coley
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    "Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world." Nelson Mandela

  10. #10
    ABW Ambassador Daniel M. Clark's Avatar
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    Happy birthyear.

    There, that oughta cover it.
    Daniel M. Clark
    Tech Manager
    Greg Hoffman Consulting

  11. #11
    Staril - Mad Cat Woman Sue's Avatar
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    Happy Unbirthday Alan

  12. #12
    Affiliate Manager Alan Hamilton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MichaelColey
    So that's how you stay so young. You just don't put your birthday in your profile!
    ;-)
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  13. #13
    ABW Founder Haiko de Poel, Jr.'s Avatar
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    I thought at your age (ahem) its coustomary to say WOW, instead of happy birthday
    Continued Success,

    Haiko
    The secret of success is constancy of purpose ~ Disraeli

  14. #14
    Outsourced Program Manager Affiliate Eagle's Avatar
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    Happy 100th Birthday Alan, may you live to see another 100 years!
    Emilio Yepez
    Affiliate Program Manager
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    PH: 305 389 8955
    AIM: affiliateagle
    Email: emilio@lighthouseinternetmedia.com
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  15. #15
    Beachy Bill's Avatar
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    Hey Alan - the way I look at it, folks like you and me really don't need to acknowledge that special day any longer. Because once we're just a "tad bit over thirty-something," every day is a special day.

    We get to enjoy things as they come along, eh? So here's just wishing you a happy day.

    - B
    Bill / Marketing Blog @ 12PM - Current project: Resurrecting my "baby" at South Baltimore..
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  16. #16
    Online Marketing Consultant
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    Alan, as a friend I would only like to remind you that:

    1. ABW does not date back before fire therefore you cannot select a year or anytime in B.C. when you were growing up.

    2. Are you really that concerned with celebrating one year closer to extinction?

    3. You changed time zones and migrate seasonally so how do we even know when your birthday begins, we're stuck in a time loop trying to figure out which hour it begins and ends

    4. Now with you being the genius as stated above, can you really expect us simple minded people to follow such an elaborate schedule as wake up, eat, lay down and sleep, and add in a birthday, come on for us simple minds, a fifth step in a day is just way too much

    5. Can't wait to see you in Vegas again =0) Happy bday!
    Adam Riemer Marketing, LLC. Online Marketing Blog and Affiliate Management Company
    Do you need help with your Marketing or Sales funneling, write me at adamr (at) adamriemer (dot) me

  17. #17
    Affiliate Manager Alan Hamilton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haiko de Poel, Jr.
    I thought at your age (ahem) its coustomary to say WOW, instead of happy birthday
    LOL, yes, it's true, when you look this good - people do tend to go WOW!!!

    Speaking of which, how's that Cream Of Wheat this morning!!? Actually don't bother replying lest you encourage another 1,012 kiss up replies!!

    BTW gang, it is NOT, I repeat it is NOT my birthday or anywhere close to it!! You been punk'd!! (at least Hectic and Sue got it!!)

    Adam, I forgot what you said but I seem to vaguely recall that it made me chuckle for some reason, at which point my dentures fell out...

    Beach, ditto dude!!!
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  18. #18
    No Longer Banned!
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    Haiko Pass - In the Desert ??....
    Quote Originally Posted by Haiko de Poel, Jr.
    I thought at your age (ahem) its coustomary to say WOW, instead of happy birthday

    Haiko





    Steve

  19. #19
    Moderator BurgerBoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alan Hamilton
    Soon I will have had three birthdays since moving to this neighborhood, and yet not ONE happy birthday wish has ever been offered. How do you think this makes me feel? Regardless of my hardened exterior and strong inner confidence, I too have feelings. I'm a sensitive, caring, loving, thoughtful, kind, thrifty, compassionate, charming, witty, loyal, trustworthy, near genius, wise, experienced, interesting, accomplished, great dad, husband and friend. So where are the voices of well wishers when that special day in my life arrives each year????

    Oh sure, if Haiko has cream of wheat for breakfast there are 1,012 posts from the usual kiss-ups about how wonderful it is that he eats wheat based products and how his choice of breakfast foods has changed the course of history. But let Alan have a birthday and it's total silence... I feel like the role model for the Sprint "you can hear a pin drop" commercials!!

    Well I've had enough..... From now on, I'm not wishing anyone a happy birthday, and I don't care whose feelings it hurts. I've been stepped on, ignored, neglected, kept down by "the man" and otherwise abused for long enough. Oh sure, I'll keep contributing that unique perspective and knowledge that is so uniquely me, but no more Mr. nice guy!! So if you have a birthday coming up, SO WHAT!! WHO CARES??? You didn't do squat to justify some special recognition on the anniversary of your birth. You had nothing to do with being born, so get over it!! Others can author goody two shoes posts with the standard copy/paste emoticons and the customary happy B-day jive, but this Marine ain't joinin the crowd anymore!

    As a matter of fact.................... Oops, I just noticed........ I never added a birthdate to my ABW profile, - never mind!!
    I didn't know a fish had a birthday???

    Vietnam Veteran 1966-1970 USASA
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  20. #20
    ABW Ambassador IOWNIE's Avatar
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    My family does not celebrate birthdays because:
    - we all had our date of birth legally changed to Feb, 29th 2015 which by most believers will be Judgement Day according to Revalations and the Terminator
    - it was getting way too expensive
    - could never find the gift cards we bought from the Waffle House to give each other
    - I lost money one time investing in Hallmark when I was Day Trading
    - they remind me that death is getting closer
    - I hate fulfilling the once a year obligation to have birthday sex
    - ice-cream cakes from the DQ started using lactose instead of prosophousnitroglycookcamousifbertriethaloids
    - I feel guilty singing the trademarked Happy Birthday song without sending in royalties

    Feel free to add tot this list of why YOU don't like celebrating birthdays

  21. #21
    The slot machine that IS paid! Billy Kay's Avatar
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    Alan... you're what? 175 years old now?

    Surely you've had more then your fair share of happy birthday greetings already.

    or...

    We post them, but at your age, you probably can't see them!

    Happy Birthday

  22. #22
    No Longer Banned!
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    175 ?? You must be joking ??....
    Quote Originally Posted by Billy Kay
    Alan... you're what? 175 years old now?
    Billy.

    175 ? I think he is too good a fisherman to be that old.

    Steve

  23. #23
    Affiliate Manager Alan Hamilton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Billy Kay
    Alan... you're what? 175 years old now? Surely you've had more then your fair share of happy birthday greetings already. or...We post them, but at your age, you probably can't see them! Happy Birthday
    It's NOT my birthday knothead!! Actually, I look at it like this: I've turned 29 twice in my life, so now I'm double trouble!! Gotta go now, I'm running in the Punta Gorda Yacht Club 0.10 K race today and gotta finish charging my scooter-chair battery!
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  24. #24
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IOWNIE
    My family does not celebrate birthdays because:
    - we all had our date of birth legally changed to Feb, 29th 2015 which by most believers will be Judgement Day according to Revalations and the Terminator
    - it was getting way too expensive

    - I hate fulfilling the once a year obligation to have birthday sex

    Feel free to add tot this list of why YOU don't like celebrating birthdays
    First, you have the date wrong. It's 2012, not 2015.

    Second, you're lucky she don't also demand the quicky, for the wedding aniversary too.

    Now, you can add this, to the list:

    Quote Originally Posted by Liquidate
    2. Are you really that concerned with celebrating one year closer to extinction?
    IOWNIE, Liquidate just posted a good question.

    Anyway, some people say that life begin at 40, others say at 50.

    But according to some ancient history, after 33 ½, every other year is just a bonus.

    So why count on yearly bonus, if you can get fired at any time?





    Btw. IOWNIE, have you started writing yours yet?

    I'm talking about "The Bucket List"!

    I'm about to start writing mine by next week.

    ;-)

  25. #25
    ABW Ambassador IOWNIE's Avatar
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    Actually Mr. Sal, I just saw the movie The Bucket List and although I thought it was a good movie NONE of the things on their list would have been on mine. Mine would look more like this:
    - My goal of becoming a Philanthropist will have come true
    - My sites went from averaging $1.13 a day with adsense to $10000000000000000
    - My book "How To Spend More Money Than You Make In Affiliate Marketing" outsells Genos book by 3 copies and ends up on the NY Best Seller List
    - Haiko and I will become great friends after meeting at the ASW and we decide to turn ABW platform into a fund raiser for charities picked by ABW members ( those with more than 250 posts of course)
    - I will have over 250 post in ABW
    - Cry with Billy Kay ( ok....laugh first )
    - Front seat tickets to the Broadway Musical I created, directed, produced, and wrote.....called "Scrapbooking The Musical"

    And then.....
    - watch my 3 kids graduate, graduate again, get married, have kids, and make their Dad a Grandpop
    - know before I die that my children will have found "THE SECRET" to living a happy life!
    - be buried next to my AWSOME wife who has tolerated all my B.S. for all these years!

    which ultimately means I will have lived a very fulfilling life and achieved my "Bucket List"

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