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  1. #1
    Super Dawg Member Phil Kaufman aka AffiliateHound's Avatar
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    January 22nd, 2007
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    Dog and Cat Diaries
    DOG DIARY

    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
    12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
    1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
    3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
    5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
    7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
    8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
    11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



    CAT DIARY

    Day # 983 of my captivity.

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

    In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
    Since June 10, 2012 a vegan aarf but still writing the Hound Dawg Sports Blog
    "If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?" -John Wooden;
    "Raj, there’s no place for truth on the internet." -Howard Wolowitz[/SIZE]

  2. #2
    Moderator
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    Thank you for making my day!! This is my new favorite post ...

  3. #3
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Los Angeles
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    12,360
    Lol Lol
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  4. #4
    Merchant & ABW Ambassador
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    May 31st, 2006
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    Houston TX
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    4,731
    hillarious...

  5. #5
    ABW Ambassador Boom or Bust's Avatar
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    February 3rd, 2008
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    3,955
    So True!



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