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  1. #1
    Member gotapex's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Upgrade Source Affiliate Program

    Earn 8%

    Fine print: Earn 8% Store Credit.
    Finer print:

    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Exclusive Computer Hardware Dealer
    We shall be the exclusive computer hardware dealer on your site, if you participate in our affiliate program. This includes any stores that happen to sell computer products. In other words, you agree that you will not (directly or indirectly) allow any other person or entity to sell computer hardware products on your site or link their site to yours in connection with the sale of computer hardware products. You are still permitted to sell your own manufactured products on your site.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    More finer print:

    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Policies and Pricing
    You are not permitted to use your affiliate link to purchase computer products, for your use, resale, on someone's behalf, or for any other reasons. Engaging in this practice will result in withholding of affiliate commissions. So, essentially - you'll be paying full price if you use your affiliate link to purchase products from us. All other customers who buy UpgradeSource.com products through the Affiliate Program are customers of UpgradeSource.com.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    And this is the best... finest print:

    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Commission Payment
    Affiliates may redeem earned commissions in store credit at any time by following the instructions provided in your sign-up E-Mail. We do not pay you in cash. If you need cash, we suggest a full-time job.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    What a wonderful program. Excuse me while I vomit wildly and uncontrollably.

  2. #2
    ABW Ambassador
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    January 18th, 2005
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    856
    Gee, at first I thought this was a joke. But, sure enough, that's Upgrade Source's affiliate program as listed on their site. What a completely bogus program. I'll be sure to sign up for these guys right away - NOT!

    Jim

    Oh yeah, here's another good one from their program:

    We will reject your application if we determine that your site is unsuitable for the Affiliate Program. Sites that we consider unsuitable include: those that contain unlawful or immature content, sites with no actual content except ads, sites with a working "hit counter" that reads an extremely low number, sites that are mostly under construction, sites that promote companies we do not like, and....basically, any site we don't like.

  3. #3
    ABW Ambassador
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    If you need cash, we suggest a full-time job.

    Made my day.

  4. #4
    Affiliate Marketing Consultant Andy Rodriguez's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    I though i had seen it all in 2 years...

    Get this guy affiliate marketing 101....

    No clue....

    Andy Rodriguez,
    Online Advertising / Affiliate Marketing Manager

    TigerDirect.com
    P: (305) 415-2313
    E: andy.rodriguez@tigerdirect.com

    Parasite Free in 2003!

  5. #5
    ABW Ambassador Sam Bay's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    I think they do know what they're doing and JUST HAVING FUN WITH IT.

    And I find it very cool:

    Examples:

    " If your application is rejected, we will not notify you. We will simply leave you wondering."

    "You will not make any statement, whether on your site or otherwise, that reasonably would contradict anything in this. If you do, you may be subject to torture in the form of season tickets to the Boston Redsox, or execution."

  6. #6
    ABW Ambassador phillyburbs's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    in the PhillyBurbs!
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    If I want fun, I'll sit in front of my PS2.

    Best of luck with these jokers.



    Karl Smith
    phillyBurbs - Your Internet Starts Here

  7. #7
    Assistant Regional Manager Rik's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    New Zealand
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    865
    I find it extremely funny, but ... if they are serious about their affiliate program (even if they do only offer store credit) it does makes me wonder about their business practice.


    The above post may contain traces of nuts.

  8. #8
    Member gotapex's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Take a look at the bottom of the page too.



    LOL.

    Someone needs to take a course in rudimentary logic. How in the world do you "Earn Extra Money!" if they "do not pay you in cash" but rather store credit?

  9. #9
    ABW Ambassador phillyburbs's Avatar
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    gotapex:
    Sound logic!

    Karl Smith
    phillyBurbs - Your Internet Starts Here

  10. #10
    ABW Ambassador buy_online's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Richmond, VA
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    3,234
    Tried to sign up but the form used, returns an error (it's an email submit).

    I wanted to know if they have a datafeed

    I am so worried about them cancelling me within 30 days if I don't sell anything - ya think they will?

    This could be so much fun...

    Fred
    ___________

    You might just be a redneck if..."You can't schedule a family reunion until after the parole board meets"

  11. #11
    ABW Ambassador JJJay's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Andy - TigerDirect:
    I though i had seen it all in 2 years...

    Get this guy affiliate marketing 101....

    No clue....

    Andy Rodriguez,
    Online Advertising / Affiliate Marketing Manager

    TigerDirect.com
    P: (305) 415-2313
    E: andy.rodriguez@tigerdirect.com

    _Parasite Free in 2003!_<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Love the Graemiln Andy, are you sure that doesn't represent you and your boss You're holding the hammer btw

  12. #12
    Full Member
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Sounds like whoever designed their program came from writing mortgage contracts

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