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  1. #1
    Online Marketing Consultant
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    Dog Diaries Vs. Cat Diaries
    Got this in an email today:

    The Dog's Diary

    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
    12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
    3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
    5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
    11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!




    The Cat's Diary

    Day 983 of my captivity

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...
    Adam Riemer Marketing, LLC. Online Marketing Blog and Affiliate Management Company
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  2. #2
    Influencer Marketing GravityFed's Avatar
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    Adam, That was great already sent it on..

  3. #3
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    "The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ..."

    LOL
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  4. #4
    Super Dawg Member Phil Kaufman aka AffiliateHound's Avatar
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    Here we go!. It's Danmer all over again!

    Where's that internetattorney forum when you need it........
    Since June 10, 2012 a vegan aarf but still writing the Hound Dawg Sports Blog
    "If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?" -John Wooden;
    "Raj, there’s no place for truth on the internet." -Howard Wolowitz[/SIZE]

  5. #5
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    LOL Hound.

    Rollerblader had the bird part, though so the content was "altered."
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by AffiliateHound
    Here we go!. It's Danmer all over again!

    Where's that internetattorney forum when you need it........

    Hahahah, my bad, I missed it when you posted it and just got it in an email.

    Time to go write my friend who sent it and let her know it is plagerized materials ;-).
    Adam Riemer Marketing, LLC. Online Marketing Blog and Affiliate Management Company
    Do you need help with your Marketing or Sales funneling, write me at adamr (at) adamriemer (dot) me

  7. #7
    Online Marketing Consultant
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    hahaha Googled it and just found it on this site dating back past 2006,,,upto a year before you posted ;-), Looks like we need to start apology writing lol:

    http://www.vegsource.com/talk/humor/messages/7192.html

    day 768 is pretty funny =0)
    Adam Riemer Marketing, LLC. Online Marketing Blog and Affiliate Management Company
    Do you need help with your Marketing or Sales funneling, write me at adamr (at) adamriemer (dot) me

  8. #8
    Super Dawg Member Phil Kaufman aka AffiliateHound's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rollerblader
    hahaha just found it on this site dating back past 2006,,,upto a year before you posted ;-), Looks like we need to start apology writing lol.
    How did I get the abridged version?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rollerblader
    day 768 is pretty funny =0)
    (if ever there was a perfect smilie for a situation)
    Since June 10, 2012 a vegan aarf but still writing the Hound Dawg Sports Blog
    "If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?" -John Wooden;
    "Raj, there’s no place for truth on the internet." -Howard Wolowitz[/SIZE]

  9. #9
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AffiliateHound
    Here we go!. It's Danmer all over again!

    Where's that internetattorney forum when you need it........
    You're scaring me AffiliateHound.

    So that means that if I was to tell you to "take my wife, please!"

    Are you going to call Henny Youngman and say that I was using his line? Or do you indeed take that ***** away from me?

    Side note: those ****** mean a word that in english soung like the wife of a dog, or in bad Español like someone is talking about the beach!


  10. #10
    Super Dawg Member Phil Kaufman aka AffiliateHound's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Sal
    You're scaring me AffiliateHound.

    So that means that if I was to tell you to "take my wife, please!"

    Are you going to call Henny Youngman and say that I was using his line? Or do you indeed take that ***** away from me?
    Last time I checked, Henny Youngman was still dead.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Sal
    Side note: those ****** mean a word that in english soung like the wife of a dog, or in bad Español like someone is talking about the beach!

    "........." is just trailing off and leaving the rest of the thought unexpressed.

    It's neither "*******", nor is it "$%&#@$*&%"
    Last edited by Phil Kaufman aka AffiliateHound; April 28th, 2008 at 12:37 AM. Reason: typo
    Since June 10, 2012 a vegan aarf but still writing the Hound Dawg Sports Blog
    "If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?" -John Wooden;
    "Raj, there’s no place for truth on the internet." -Howard Wolowitz[/SIZE]

  11. #11
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AffiliateHound
    Last time I checked, Henny Youngman was still dead.

    "........." is just trailing off and leaving the rest of the thought unexpressed.

    It's neither "*******:, nor is it "$%&#@$*&%"
    That's it AffiliateHound!

    You are not getting my ex, I rather let Adam-blader deal with her, because: You're nothing but an Hound Dog



  12. #12
    ABW Ambassador Boom or Bust's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rollerblader
    Dog Diaries Vs. Cat Diaries
    This is so hilarious because it's so true!



    X

  13. #13
    Super Dawg Member Phil Kaufman aka AffiliateHound's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Sal
    That's it AffiliateHound!

    You are not getting my ex, I rather let Adam-blader deal with her, because: You're nothing but an Hound Dog


    I always preferred:

    "Am I too late for the trash?"

    "No, lady, jump in."

    and I love Hound Dog. Thanks for the link!!! I remember getting the 45 for my birthday when I was about 7 years old (1 in dog years).
    Since June 10, 2012 a vegan aarf but still writing the Hound Dawg Sports Blog
    "If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?" -John Wooden;
    "Raj, there’s no place for truth on the internet." -Howard Wolowitz[/SIZE]

  14. #14
    Ride It Like You Stole It CowgirlUp's Avatar
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    OMG! That's hilarious!! roflmao
    Be the change you want to see in the world ~ Gandhi

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