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  1. #1
    Moderator BurgerBoy's Avatar
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    Schitt Family History Finally Revealed
    Most people are at a loss for a response when someone says - "You don't know Jack Schitt."

    Read on and you'll be able to handle the situation intelligently.

    Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep & Schitt, Inc.

    Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple begat 6 Children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins - Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

    Against her parent's wishes, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

    After 15 years of marriage, Jack & Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married a Mr. Sherlock, and out of devotion to her children, decided to hyhenate her last name, and became Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

    Dip Schitt married a woman named Loda Dung, who became Loda Schitt. The couple produced a nervous son named Chicken Schitt.

    Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, inseperable throughout childhood, subsequently married the Happens brothers. The local newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding, which was quite an event. The Schitt-Happens children were: Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.

    Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He returned from his travels with his Italian bride - Piza Schitt.

    So, now if someone says "you don't know Jack Schitt"' you can beg to differ. You not only know Jack Schitt, but everyone on the Schitt family list.

    Vietnam Veteran 1966-1970 USASA
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  2. #2
    Member CouponBastard's Avatar
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  3. #3
    ABW Ambassador 2busy's Avatar
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    well, that explains everything.

  4. #4
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BurgerBoy
    Most people are at a loss for a response when someone says - "You don't know Jack Schitt."

    Read on and you'll be able to handle the situation intelligently.
    BurgerBoy,

    You don't remember Jack Schitt!

    January 1st, 2007


    Now listen son!

    Do you really want to hear something funny?

    How about this?

    I'm the "The Smilie Master"

    You're the "Chick Magnet & Junior Smilie Master"

    So what can we call PurpleBear?

    Miss Smilie Master?




    Sorry BurgerBoy: You have may Alzheimers!

    Sorry purplebear: You have no Smilie Master Title Yet!


  5. #5
    Affiliate Manager Alan Hamilton's Avatar
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    Do we really have to repeat all of the same comments that so many of us made to this one in January 07? The horse died but what the heck - we can always beat him some more!
    Join the Spicy Aprons Affiliate program on ShareASale Visit us on Facebook www.facebook.com/spicyaprons Follow us on Twitter @Spicyaprons

  6. #6
    ABW Ambassador Boom or Bust's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Sal
    So what can we call PurpleBear?

    Miss Smilie Master?
    She said she is a pretty teeny affiliate here so I think that works very well for her. Only trouble is, I don't know whether she means pretty and teeny or pretty teeny?!? (joking)



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  7. #7
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boomers
    Only trouble is, I don't know whether she means pretty and teeny or pretty teeny?!? (joking)
    What's the difference?

    She's a marry woman, so we can't even joke there!

    But hey Boomers, we still got the single and good looking Rhia7 gal to fight for!

  8. #8
    ABW Ambassador Boom or Bust's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Sal
    But hey Boomers, we still got the single and good looking Rhia7 gal to fight for!
    You fight yourself for Rhia7 Mr. Sal. I'm going to stick with my Sandy of 37 years! And don't come around trying to fight me for her. She's a keeper...



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  9. #9
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boomers
    You fight yourself for Rhia7 Mr. Sal. I'm going to stick with my Sandy of 37 years! And don't come around trying to fight me for her. She's a keeper...
    Man, you're wrong!

    If your Sandy is 37, you can keep her without any fear from me, because 37 is too old for me.

    I'm only 33, and I would not take any meat older than 25 today, and they should be lucky that I adjusted my requirements according to the price of oil increase, because just a year ago, I would not be interested on any meat over 25 and with prime ribs (if you know what I mean).

    And as for R7, I was just trying to hook you up with her, because I am too old to keep playing hide-and-seek with her, my pacemaker don't have an energizer bunny battery on it.

    And now I am waiting for my new soap opera actress to be free, anyway.

  10. #10
    ABW Ambassador Boom or Bust's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Sal
    If your Sandy is 37, you can keep her without any fear from me, because 37 is too old for me.
    If you met her you might change your mind.
    She's been MY Sandy for 37 years on our anniversary in Oct. I'm not allowed to reveal her age.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Sal
    I'm only 33...
    I'm not sure I believe this. Now you will have to post your birth certificate!



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  11. #11
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boomers
    If you met her you might change your mind.
    She's been MY Sandy for 37 years on our anniversary in Oct. I'm not allowed to reveal her age.
    I'm not sure I believe this. Now you will have to post your birth certificate!
    And I don't believe that you have decided to take my BurgerBoy son second copy thread "Schitt Family History" off topic!

    But...

    Since you have challenged me to post my birth certificate, I will do it with one condition!

    Show me a picture of that 37 years old Sandy, and I might even send you a bottle of the holy water that the priest poured on me when I was little, a mug shot of the holy man, and a xerox of my BC too.

    Just be advised that if for any reason what so ever, your Sandy picture reminds me of the Sandy on the: Grease Movie - Sandy and Danny, well my friend , you better quit while you're ahead, because once I show you my, I may take yours at any time.

    And just to show you that I am not soo bad, I might even throw my son BurgerBoy on that deal as a freebie.

    But only if your Sandy is my Grease Movie Sandy, otherwise get lost and R7 may find you.

    Btw, this is the Sandy I am talking about:
    -------------------
    Attached Images Attached Images

  12. #12
    ABW Ambassador Boom or Bust's Avatar
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    Well, I don't think my Sandy wants me to post her picture, so you'll just have to take my word for her attractiveness... and I'll have to take your word about your age. I relent.

    Sorry about going off topic. Think I like the new topic better...

    BTW, My Sandy was prettier than her at that age...



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  13. #13
    ABW Ambassador IOWNIE's Avatar
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    "Sandy" was poster on my ceiling my Freshman year of college. I was on the top bunk and often got really close to her....if you know what I mean She was doing a stretch pose in 80's work out clothes ( pink and blue ) promoting Lets Get Physical.

    memories of being young......

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