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  1. #1
    ABW Ambassador JJJay's Avatar
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    This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries..........but, now we know.

    If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race..........you're a male chauvinist.

    If you stay home and do the housework..........you're a pansy.

    If you work too hard..........there's never any time for her.

    If you don't work enough..........you're a good-for-nothing bum.

    If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay..........this is exploitation.

    If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay..........you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.

    If you get a promotion ahead of her..........that is favoritism.

    If she gets a job ahead of you..........it's equal opportunity.

    If you mention how nice she looks..........it's sexual harassment.

    If you keep quiet..........it's male indifference.

    If you cry..........you're a wimp.

    If you don't..........you're an insensitive bastard.

    If you make a decision without consulting her..........you're a chauvinist.

    If she makes a decision without consulting you..........she's a liberated woman.

    If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy..........that's domination.

    If she asks you..........it's a favor.

    If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear..........you're a pervert.

    If you don't..........you're gay.

    If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape..........you're sexist.

    If you don't..........you're unromantic.

    If you try to keep yourself in shape..........you're vain.

    If you don't..........you're a slob.

    If you buy her flowers..........you're after something.

    If you don't..........you're not thoughtful.

    If you're proud of your achievements..........you're full of yourself.

    If you don't..........you're not ambitious.

    If she has a headache..........she's tired.

    If you have a headache..........you don't love her anymore.

    If you want it too often..........you're oversexed.

    If you don't..........there must be someone else.

    Men die first because they want to.

  2. #2
    Domain Addict / Formerly known as elbowcreek Thomas A. Rice's Avatar
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    Heh, no comment!

    ( EC steps discretely away from JJJAY and puts on flame proof suit! )

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    This is your affiliate network -
    This is your affiliate network on Parasites -

  3. #3
    ABW Ambassador JJJay's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by elbowcreek:
    Heh, no comment!

    ( EC steps discretely away from JJJAY and puts on flame proof suit! )

    - - - - - - - - -
    This is your affiliate network -
    This is your affiliate network on Parasites - <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
    Why? Do women visit this forum

  4. #4
    ABW Ambassador Andy's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> Men die first because they want to. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> HOW TRUE!!!

    Andy

    _______________
    <font color="red">Call the Exterminators! We've Got PARASITES!</font>

  5. #5
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
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    They want what they want when they want it. Our only problem is trying to figure out what they want. Guess wrong and your a dead duck.

    Mike & Charlie ...

    If they won't adopt and feed a bird ..flip them one! BBQ some Gator and remember to flush WhenU..

  6. #6
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    My husband never has to guess. I tell him straight out exactly what I want from him.

    This is as opposed to the {sarcasm} overly communicative style {/sarcasm} of my husband.

    It goes both ways, boys...enjoy your time sleeping on the couch.

    -patrice

  7. #7
    ABW Ambassador
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    Funny, but True.

    IamJaloppy

  8. #8
    Member
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    I once had a college professor who said married men don't really live longer than single men, it just seems longer

    Greg

  9. #9
    Defender of Truth, Justice and the Affiliate Way
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    ROFL Patrice. For all the complaining men do about us, they sure do spend an awful lot of time and devote an awful lot of energy trying to get us.

    It's Your Money. You earned it. What are you going to do to make sure you get to keep it?

  10. #10
    ABW Ambassador
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    How are we supposed to know what women want, when they don't even know what they want and when they do they change their mind a few minutes later

    "The successful man is the average man, focused."

  11. #11
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    Excellent;

    And they had better stick to those rules!

  12. #12
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    I never change my mind. I always want things exactly the way I want them. And that's that.


    -patrice

    ps, B, you're definitely right - for all their complaints, you don't see them trashing all their pickup lines.

  13. #13
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    Oh, and I have to say that when I saw the subject, Why Do Men Die First, my first reaction was "because they deserve it."

    Is that wrong of me?


    -patrice

  14. #14
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
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    Typical arguement started by men and ended by women.

    Mike & Charlie ...

    If they won't adopt and feed a bird ..flip them one! BBQ some Gator and remember to flush WhenU..

  15. #15
    ABW Ambassador JJJay's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by EcomCity.com:
    Typical arguement started by men and ended by women.

    Mike & Charlie ...

    If they won't adopt and feed a bird ..flip them one! BBQ some Gator and remember to flush WhenU..<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
    Reminds me of this beautiful poem,

    Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender,
    Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender.
    Two lovely hips to increase his desire,
    And rounded and firm to bring out the fire.
    Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud,
    Commanding his eyes, as he whispers aloud.
    Two lovely arms, just aching to bless you,
    And two loving hands, to soothe and caress you.
    Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder,
    And two dreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder.
    'Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing.
    Then God added a mouth and ruined the whole damn thing!!!

  16. #16
    Super Sh!t Stirrer SSanf's Avatar
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    JJJay the reason some men die sooner is lack of understanding the world they find themselves in.

    Women do not see things in the either/or manner your post portrays. There are many in betweens to the options you have presented and the smart man develops his sensitivity to the feelings of others so that he chooses correctly among the thousands of different responses to differing situations with women.

    Those limited behavioral choices show stupidity bordering on retardation if it were sincere rather than satirical.

    Any man so limited should die before he breeds and contaminates the gene pool. But then, that's not really a consideration since no woman would have him, anyway.

    Mr.Merchant, if you do business in any way what-so-ever with parasites, your products will not be sold on my sites!!

    LISTEN! CJ don't give no whistles no more! I can hear the music of another piper!

  17. #17
    ABW Ambassador JJJay's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SSanf:
    JJJay the reason some men die sooner is lack of understanding the world they find themselves in.

    Women do not see things in the either/or manner your post portrays. There are many in betweens to the options you have presented and the smart man develops his sensitivity to the feelings of others so that he chooses correctly among the thousands of different responses to differing situations with women.

    Those limited behavioral choices show stupidity bordering on retardation if it were sincere rather than satirical.

    Any man so limited should die before he breeds and contaminates the gene pool.

    _Mr.Merchant, if you do business in any way what-so-ever with parasites, your products will not be sold on my sites!!_

    __LISTEN! CJ don't give no whistles no more! I can hear the music of another piper!__<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
    LOL, do they ever stop nagging BTW that piece of art was mailed to me today, I just had to pass it on

  18. #18
    Super Sh!t Stirrer SSanf's Avatar
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    Get off the computer, wash the dishes, take out the trash, fold the laundry, and feed the dog. Then, we will find out.

    P.S. Give me some money, too.

    Mr.Merchant, if you do business in any way what-so-ever with parasites, your products will not be sold on my sites!!

    LISTEN! CJ don't give no whistles no more! I can hear the music of another piper!

  19. #19
    ABW Ambassador JJJay's Avatar
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    I'd do all those things but it would put the maid out of a job

  20. #20
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    The sole purpose of Men and Women!


  21. #21
    ABW Ambassador Radegast's Avatar
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    You know the real reason God invented Adam before Eve?

    He couldn't stand the thought of her standing over His shoulder saying:

    "I don't like that colour eyes, make them brown...I like that part - can I have two of them?......Hmmm, that bit's nice, can you make it wider....?"

    (Radegast quietly slips into his asbestos suit...)

  22. #22
    ABW Ambassador Nova's Avatar
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    Why men are given two heads and they proceed to just use one of them?

    Maybe that is the cost of them dying first?

    What if they use both of them at the same time, what would happen?



    ------------------------------
    What does the COC stand for? Crooks Overwriting Commissions.
    Don't worry! Tracking is infected!
    ------------------------------
    Love Life to the fullest. we only get ONE chance! :-) !

  23. #23
    Super Sh!t Stirrer SSanf's Avatar
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    At the dawn of time, Eve discovered that she had been created with three boobs. She complained to God that she wasn't as nicely balanced as the other creations, so God tossed away the third boob and Eve felt much prettier.

    Later, Eve noticed that all the other creations seemed to have a mate for fun and companionship. She complained to God that she wanted one, too.

    God promised to make Eve a mate and started looking for something to make Eve's mate with. God pondered, "Now, where did I put that useless boob?"

    Mr.Merchant, if you do business in any way what-so-ever with parasites, your products will not be sold on my sites!!

    LISTEN! CJ don't give no whistles no more! I can hear the music of another piper!

  24. #24
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SSanf:
    "Now, where did I put that useless boob?"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


  25. #25
    Affiliate Addict Robert484848's Avatar
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    Nova,
    God gave men 2 heads but only enough blood to run 1 at a time.
    Now u know

    "I did'nt get where I'm at today by worrying about how I'm going to feel tomorrow."

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