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  1. #1
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    Advice from a Retired Gordon

    It is important for men to remember that as women grow older it
    becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as they did when they were younger. When men notice this, they should try not to criticize.

    Let me relate how I handle the situation. When I started this affiliate marjketing job and took "early retirement" in April, it became necessary for Pauline to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we need. It was shortly after she started working that I noticed that she was beginning to show her age.

    I usually get home from fishing or hunting about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says that she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts supper. I try not to complain, instead I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she finally does get supper on the table.

    She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. It is now not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after supper. I do what I can by reminding her several times each evening that they aren't cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates this advice, as it does seem to help her get them done before she goes to bed.

    Now that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she says she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of this. As long as she finishes up the laundry by the next evening I am willing to overlook it. Not only that but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling or something like that,
    I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing. This gives
    her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends things like
    shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting. Also, if I have a really good day of fishing, this allows her to gut and scale the fish at a more leisurely pace.

    Pauline is starting to complain a little occasionally. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills
    during her lunch break. In spite of her complaining, I continue to try to
    offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three
    days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any, if you know what I mean.

    When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest
    periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished
    mowing the yard.

    I try to be supportive when she needs these little extra rest breaks. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. I tell her that as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me and take her break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I fall asleep.

    I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Pauline on a daily basis.
    I'm not saying that the ability to show this much consideration is easy.
    Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible. No one
    knows better than I do how frustrating women can become as they get older.

    However, guys, even if you just yell at your wife a little less often
    because of this article, I will consider that writing it was worthwhile.

    Signed,
    Gordon


    From Pauline
    NOTE: Gordon's funeral was on Saturday, September 13. I was
    acquitted on Monday, September 15.

    I got my parasiteware t-shirt
    <font color=red size="1">All parasites are scumbags and should be treated as such....</font><font color=blue size="1">STAMP EM OUT!!!</font>
    Take care
    YouTrek.com

  2. #2
    ABW Ambassador Andy's Avatar
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    Um...gee Gordon, you sound like a real pig...

    Andy

    _______________
    <font color="red">Call the Exterminators! We've Got PARASITES!</font>

  3. #3
    ABW Ambassador flamingoworld's Avatar
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    I'd tell you to make your own damn supper and do your own laundry! Or let you go hungry and wear dirty clothes!

    Connie Berg
    http://www.flamingoworld.com


  4. #4
    ABW Ambassador
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    Gordon you are my hero - LOL.

    Actually, I cut up about this kinda stuff but I pretty nearly cook and clean up as much as the Mrs does... OK well maybe cook .

    Mrs poon really will clean the fish though! I found her on a singles site and I knew we had a chance because she was holding a stringer of crappy. LOL How many women would put that pic on a singles site.

    Enjoyed the laugh.

    ===============================
    PeePee merchants with PooPoo policies allow our earnings to be flushed down the crapper.

    Why give parasites unlimited cookie durations and credit for sales where they divert our users and overwrite our cookies. PP merchants directly support what many consider unfair trade practices and thievery!
    ===============================

  5. #5
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    ok, ive got one... hope you dont mind... someone forwarded this to me...

    A Soap Story
    ------------

    >
    > The following letters are supposedly taken from an actual incident
    > between a hotel and one of its guest.
    > ------------------------------------------------------------------


    > Dear Maid,
    >
    > Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom
    > since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six
    > unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another
    > three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.
    > Thank you,
    > S. Berman
    > -----------------------------------------------

    > Dear Room 635,
    >
    > I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her
    > day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap
    > dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way!
    > and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your
    > mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions
    > from the management are to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this
    > is satisfactory.
    > Kathy, Relief Maid
    >
    >
    > -----------------------------------------------------------------

    > Dear Maid - I hope you are my regular maid. Apparently Kathy did not tell
    > you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got
    > back to my room this evening, I found you had added 3 little Camays to the
    > shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for
    > two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial, so I won't need
    > those 6 little Camays, which are on the shelf. They are in my way
    > when shaving, brushing teeth, etc.
    > Please remove them.
    > S. Berman
    > -------------------------------------------

    > Dear Mr. Berman,
    >
    > The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this morning that you
    > called him last evening and said you were unhappy with
    > your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you
    > will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any
    > future complaints, please contact me so I can give it my personal
    > attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.
    > Thank you.
    > Elaine Carmen
    > Housekeeper

    > ---------------------------------------------

    > Dear Miss Carmen,
    >
    > It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for
    > business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6PM. That's
    > the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty.
    > I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about
    > those little bars soap.
    > The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check- in
    > today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine
    > cabinet, along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bathroom shelf.
    > In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you
    > doing this to me ?
    > S. Berman
    > ------------------------------------------------

    > Dear Mr. Berman,
    >
    > Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room
    > and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call
    > extension 1108 between 8 AM and 5PM.
    > Thank you,
    > Elaine Carmen,
    > Housekeeper
    > -------------------------------------------------

    > Dear Mr. Kensedder,
    >
    > My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room,
    > including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and
    > had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
    > S. Berman
    > --------------------------------------------------

    > Dear Mr. Berman,
    >
    > I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem.
    > I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room
    > since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they
    > service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately.
    > Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.
    > Martin L. Kensedder
    > Assistant Manager

    > --------------------------------------------------

    > Dear Mrs. Carmen,
    >
    > Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night
    > and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay.
    > I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of
    > soap in here ? All I want is my bath-size Dial.
    > Please give me back my bath! -size Dial.
    > S. Berman
    > ---------------------------------------------------

    > Dear Mr. Berman,
    >
    > You complained of too much soap in your room, so I had them removed. Then
    > you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing, so I
    > personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the
    > 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don't know anything about
    > the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know
    > I had returned your soaps, so she also brought 24 Camays plus the
    > 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues
    > bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left
    > in your room.
    > Elaine Carmen
    > Housekeeper
    > ----------------------------------------------------


    > Dear Mrs. Carmen,
    >
    > Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory.
    > As of today I possess :
    > On the shelf under the medicine cabinet -18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1
    > stack of 2.
    > On the Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.
    > On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4
    > hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
    > Inside the medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
    > In the shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist. On the northeast corner of
    > the tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
    > On the northwest corner of the tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.
    >
    > Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are
    > neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that
    > stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my
    > bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for
    > future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar
    > of bath-size Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to
    > avoid further misunderstandings.
    > S. Berman

    --
    if youre part of the problem... then dont complain about it

  6. #6
    ABW Ambassador
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    Gordon, your dinner is in the oven

    Mad Doctor Gfufy

    Parasitewareâ„¢ Support The Fight

  7. #7
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> Gordon, your dinner is in the oven <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I know Guffy it's a hard life. I told her to work some overtime then she could buy a slow cooker but its not the same....

    I think I need a part time wife for while Pauline is at work, any offers from you ABW gals?. I'm short, fat, bald, deaf, daft, but not dumb

    I got my parasiteware t-shirt
    <font color=red size="1">All parasites are scumbags and should be treated as such....</font><font color=blue size="1">STAMP EM OUT!!!</font>
    Take care
    YouTrek.com

  8. #8
    Resident Genius and Staunch Capitalist Leader's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> From Pauline
    NOTE: Gordon's funeral was on Saturday, September 13. I was
    acquitted on Monday, September 15. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Pauline, Gordon was lucky. It sounds like I would have killed him YEARS ago!

    It is a beautiful thing, to do nothing, and then rest afterwards.~Spanish Proverb

  9. #9
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    I take it from your nicely worded post that you will definitely not be joining my harem then Leader?

    I got my parasiteware t-shirt
    <font color=red size="1">All parasites are scumbags and should be treated as such....</font><font color=blue size="1">STAMP EM OUT!!!</font>
    Take care
    YouTrek.com

  10. #10
    Full Member ronwls's Avatar
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    Gordon

    Your story reminds me of a song that Tompall Glaser sang - "Put Another Log on the Fire"

    I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. - Bill Cosby

  11. #11
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
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    LOL Gordon. I'll bet she volunteered to go to work when you retired just to get a break.

    Mike & Charlie ...

    If they won't adopt and feed a bird ..flip them one! BBQ some Gator and remember to flush WhenU..

  12. #12
    ABW Ambassador Packy's Avatar
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    Gordon,

    It can be tough being a man sometimes, I hear ya

    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> I take it from your nicely worded post that you will definitely not be joining my harem then Leader? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


    Merchant Coincidences, One of the Wonders of the World

    Coincidence Me baby!

  13. #13
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    Gordon,

    I feel your pain. I suggest that you take a vacation by yourself to unwind a little. I don't think you can keep up that pace.

  14. #14
    Resident Genius and Staunch Capitalist Leader's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Gordon:
    I take it from your nicely worded post that you will definitely _not_ be joining my harem then Leader?

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>



    Ha ha, No Way! You have the wrong side doing the w*rk!!

    It is a beautiful thing, to do nothing, and then rest afterwards.~Spanish Proverb

  15. #15
    ABW Ambassador
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    Gordon,
    You are too funny . That's almost stand-up comic material .
    This is the line where I absolutely cracked up laughing :

    "When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished
    mowing the yard. "

    I'm printing this to let my husband and brother in laws read - should make for a nice conversation starter at out next get together

  16. #16
    Newbie
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    GORDON, I ALL BUT FELL OFF MY CHAIR.

    I am sending a copy of your very considerate letter to my hubbie, so he can start his day falling out of his chair.

    Then I am sending this letter to all my family and friends so they can also all fall out of their chairs.

    When I get the call that someone broke a hip falling out of there chair LUAGHING, then and only then will I be happy!

    Hilarious!

  17. #17
    Affiliate Manager
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    ROFL...First, I read Gordon's thoughtful missive, then I read that thing about the soap...

  18. #18
    Newbie
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    Hey,

    Who took my soap?

  19. #19
    ABW Ambassador webmarm's Avatar
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    Gordon,
    My husband says you have it all wrong. You get your wife to do the aff marketing, THEN quit your job and gently suggest that now that she is working so hard she get hired help. Of course, now that she has to pay for hired help, she needs to make more money at the aff marketing, so order out pizza so she can stay on the puter more.
    Oh, and while my husband was dictating this and making my breakfast, it burnt while we were ROTFL, so you owe us breakfast.

    - - - - -
    42. Yup, the answer to life, the universe, and everything.

  20. #20
    Millionaire on training wheels Justdoit's Avatar
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    Gordon, sorry but I couldn't resist.

    Man schooling

    For those of you ladies who are married, were married, or are contemplating marriage - under the assumption that men need (or ought) to be trained for marriage.

    Southwest Tech is offering a new 2 year associates degree...

    TWO YEAR DEGREE:
    Becoming a Real Man. That's right, in just six mini-mesters, you too can be a real man, as well as earn an associates degree in MA (Male Arts)

    Please take a moment to look over the program outline.

    FIRST YEAR - AUTUMN SCHEDULE:

    Men 101........Combating stupidity
    Men 102........You, too, can do Housework
    Men 103........PMS-Learn when to keep your mouth shut
    Men 104........We Do Not want sleazy under things for
    Christmas!!!

    FIRST YEAR - WINTER SCHEDULE:

    Men 110........Wonderful Laundry Techniques
    Men 111........Understanding the female response to
    getting home at 2:00 am
    Men 112........Patenting: It doesn't end at conception
    Eat 100........Get a Life, Learn to cook
    Eat 101........Get a Life, Learn to cook II
    Econ 001a......What's hers is hers

    FIRST YEAR - SPRING SCHEDULE:

    Men 120.........How NOT to act like a butt face when you
    are wrong.
    Men 121.........Understanding Your Incompetence
    Men 122.........YOU, the weaker sex
    Men 123.........Reasons to Give Flowers
    Econ 001c........What was yours is hers

    SECOND YEAR - AUTUMN SCHEDULE:

    Sex 101.........You CAN fall asleep without it
    Sex 102 ........How to stay awake after sex
    Men 201........How to Put the toilet seat down

    ELECTIVE (SEE ELECTIVES BELOW)

    WINTER SCHEDULE:

    Men 210 ........The remote control: Overcoming your
    dependancy
    Men 211 ........How to Not act younger than your children
    Men 212.........You too, can be a designated driver
    Men 213.........Honest, You don't look like Denzel
    Washington
    Men 230A........Her birthdays and anniversaries are
    important

    SPRING SCHEDULE:

    Men 220.........Omitting $%# from your vocabulary
    Pass-Fail only
    Men 221.........fluffing the blanket after farting is not
    necessary
    Men 222.........Real Men ask for directions
    Men 223.........Her birthday and anniversaries are
    important II

    COURSE ELECTIVES

    Eat 101...........Cooking with tofu
    Eat 102...........Utilization of eating utensils
    Eat 103...........Burping and belching discreetly
    Men 231...........Mothers-in-law
    Men 232...........Appear to be listening
    Men 233..........Just say "yes dear"
    Econ 001C.........Cheaper to Keep her

    Just a thought for all the woman out there...MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown, MENopause, GUYnocologist (poetic spelling)

    It is never too late to be what you might have been.

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