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  1. #1
    ABW Ambassador Sheri's Avatar
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    February 17th, 2005
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    Kansas
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    Martin - Young Comedian
    I just recently heard about a comedian named Dimitri Martin. Funny observational stuff...kind of a Steven Wright type of guy. Just thought I would share a few of his musings here because I thought he was funny. Just a tiny bit of salty language..nothing too bad.

    *****************
    I want to create a 40,000 piece puzzle. One where when you finish it, it just says "Go outside!".

    Yesterday my computer beat me at Chess. It's OK, because today I beat him at kickboxing.

    I have a pet peeve...I hate it when I walk up to someone and put my hand out to shake their hand and they come at me with the fist bump. I clearly have my hand out for the traditional shake, but they have to show me they are cooler than I am and come with the fist bump anyway. So now I just put my open palm over their fist and declare myself the winner. Paper covers rock.

    I had a record year this year for Christmas...I was done shopping 3 weeks before Christmas! I took all of my gifts home and proceeded to wrap them. Just as I was finishing I realized that I had wrapped them in the wrong paper. It said "Happy Birthday" on it. I didn't want to waste the paper so I just wrote "Jesus" on it.

    I like to use the product "I can't believe its not butter". Just because when I'm having toast in the morning I want to be incredulous....you know "how was your breakfast?"..."Unbelievable!".

    Swimming is such an interesting sport. You are either doing it for fun, or you are doing it to not die. I find that it depends on the clothing that you are wearing to decide. Shirt and a pair of pants? Not good. ... Swimsuit? Great! ...Naked? We'll see. .....then it is more like "do I need to swim faster or am I going to get laid?".

    I find people that say "I love kids!" a little strange. It's like saying "I like people.....for a little while."

    An ex-girlfriend is sort of like an OK movie...I liked it at the time, but I don't really want to see it again....especially if that movie was a *****.

    ******************

    Anyway, they made me laugh so I thought I would share.

    Sheri

  2. #2
    Affiliate Manager HeatherB's Avatar
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    May 16th, 2007
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    Thanks for the laugh. I needed one today.
    Heather Boulding
    Affiliate Manager, AbeBooks.com
    hboulding{at} abebooks.com
    [t] 250.412.3247
    [URL=http://www.abebooks.com/docs/AffiliateProgram]AbeBooks Affiliate Program[/URL]

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