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  1. #1
    ABW Ambassador Ron Bechdolt's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Affiliateville, USA
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    7,927
    Well, I guess I should be happy. I'm now getting at least one email a week from visitors who have bought something from one of my merchants. Visitors are taking my sites seriously and thinking I'me even the merchant.

    But you have to wonder when a customer sends one like this:

    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> I won [item name] on ebay a few weeks ago and got them too. I need a receipt for work. I didn't realize that my work would reimburse me. Can you email me a receipt. I paid by credit card and my total was $18.48 on 10/12/03. Thank you. You can email me a reciept with your company name and such. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    My sites certainly do not appear to be an auction site, especially ebay. I guess it is time I start creating some standard email that tells customers my sites are just a portal, a directory link, to the real merchants.

    Anyway, I'm not complaining. Just find it a bit amusing. Anyone else have any fun emails like this to share?

    Ron - 7 Days A Week Marketing

  2. #2
    Affiliate Manager
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    January 18th, 2005
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    1,056
    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Anyone else have any fun emails like this to share?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> "I ordered from your site 2 weeks ago and never got my product!! Give it to me or give me back my money or I am going to blow your house up!!!!"

    Glad I never put my phone number on my sites

  3. #3
    ABW Ambassador
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    January 18th, 2005
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    767
    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> "I ordered from your site 2 weeks ago and never got my product!! Give it to me or give me back my money or I am going to blow your house up!!!!"
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Wow, some angry customers out there....
    Good Halloween threat

  4. #4
    Animal Lover
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    oz
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    1,210
    Yes I get customers asking me to donate stuff for them to use at charity functions. Then there are those who can't find what they are looking for and ask for more information on where to get stuff.

    Oscar

  5. #5
    The affiliate formerly known as ojmoo
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Posts
    1,466
    I had someone phone me once asking me where their calendars was. My phone number is not contained anywhere on my site. To make matters worse, she couldn't tell me which site she actually did buy the calendar from. I looked around for her, but couldn't find it. Eventually the calendar did arrive though.


    Mike
    Bovine Bazaar
    Cow gifts and collectibles

  6. #6
    Member
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    January 18th, 2005
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    145
    I used to get so many idiots doing this that I had to change my 'Contact Us' page.

    I now go to great lengths explaining that I am NOT the merchant - there is no point emailing me for info about orders and stuff like that - I just can't help you.

    I then tell them that if they have any questions like this, they should click the following link - which leads to a page that lists all the merchants featured on my site with their contact details.

    Then - to be absolutely sure - right next to the 'submit' button on the contact form - I remind them again

    "Please don't contact me with any dumb questions - I CAN'T HELP YOU!"

    (I word it more tactfully than that - but you get the idea!)


    The Result?

    I did this about 6 weeks ago - and I haven't had one stupid email since - so I'm well pleased

    I used to get about 1 per day!

  7. #7
    Affiliate Manager
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    January 18th, 2005
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    1,056
    I get alot of emails from people asking me for free samples of stuff that I am promoting...pretty funny

    To Good Health & Wellbeing,

    Chet Brzezinski
    eVitamins Affiliate Manager
    http://www.eVitamins.com

  8. #8
    Full Member
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    January 18th, 2005
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    243
    We received an email from a customer about an hour ago:

    "Can you get a nose ring to me by 7am tomorrow?"

    I'm not sure what the rush would be, but of course, even with fedex, it wouldn't be possible. In the most polite way possible, I told the customer that the soonest I could guarantee was monday, to which she replied:

    "Then can I come to your store right now and buy one?"

    Which would be even more difficult, considering she's located in NYC, and we're in North Carolina

    Ah well...after a couple more emails back and forth, she purchased several pieces anyway

    Erik

    ==============================
    The AllPiercings.com Affiliate Program: 20% LIFETIME Commissions, 5% 2nd Tier Commissions, Affiliate Store Builder, Raw Datafeeds, and Advanced Tools.
    http://www.Allpiercings.com

  9. #9
    ABW Adviser Panel Dynamoo's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Opposite the Slough of Despond
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    5,465
    Despite the fact that almost every site explains that I'm not the merchant etc etc I still get some of the most obscure questions you can think of.. scooter parts is one!

    However, I did find that the irritating emails from Indonesia, Nigeria etc stopped when I said that not only can I not arrange shipping, but anyone emailing me from these countries would be reported as a spammer.

    Sometimes a nice person will tell me about a broken link though, and occassionally someone will want to trade, but 90% of emails I get through the contact page are from clueless shoppers.

    ________
    "All your commission are belong to us." - Slimeware Corporation

  10. #10
    Mama in Charge Anne's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    2,780
    Someone once had made my site their home page and wrote me:

    "Get off my computer, every time I boot up, you are there! You have taken me hostage, this has to be illegal!"

    that was my favorite one, taking a customer hostage... LOL!

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
    It pays to be clever
    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  11. #11
    Affiliate Marketing Consultant Linda - 5starAffiliatePrograms's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    SoCal
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    4,040
    After I sent my ABW email on Tuesday
    http://www.5staraffiliateprograms.com/ABWemail.html
    I got several emails from merchants. This email was designed for affiliates, but I got emails like: "I really like your 5 Star reviews, please review my affiliate program and add my listing."

    Like I am a free directory and like I would add their ebook affiliate programs!
    I even got one that said "I'm a 5 Star program, how come I'm not listed?"

    Linda Buquet :: 714.754.1280 :: AM Consulting, Promotion & PR (Partner Relations)
    5 Star Affiliate Programs :: Top Paying/High-Integrity Merchants :: Visit 5 Star Forum
    <FONT size="1">Amazing Socks::ABCLeads::4LowRates::ChatDollars::ConsciousOne::EveryTicket::Organize-Everything
    DentalPlans::Irv's Luggage::Executive Essentials::IntelliContactPro::zZounds::RoadLoans</font>

  12. #12
    Super Sh!t Stirrer SSanf's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    9,944
    OK, maybe I am stuck up or something. But, one thing that annoys me at CJ is the "offers pending your approval". I feel insulted that most of them even think that I would consider their programs.

    Mr.Merchant, if you do business in any way what-so-ever with parasites, your products will not be sold on my sites!!

    Farewell, CJ! I loved you when you were young and pure. I will try to remember you that way. Disclaimer: Comments are to be interpreted as opinion unless otherwise noted.

  13. #13
    Domain Addict / Formerly known as elbowcreek Thomas A. Rice's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    5,468
    I had a customer call me a loser today, which I thought was nice. I had refunded money to an unhappy customer, and sent a free tarp to them, just because I'm a nice guy. They haven't received their free $45 tarp yet, so they felt compelled to email me about what a loser I am, lol.

    - - - - - - - - -
    A page a day keeps the creditor away!

  14. #14
    Pit Boss redsand's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    I had someone emailed me twice, insisting if I'd like to be interviewed and featured on the radio talk show. I was like, "what the ....?!"

  15. #15
    Defender of Truth, Justice and the Affiliate Way
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    January 18th, 2005
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    The Swamp
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    I actually have a folder I keep of emails and letters along those lines for happy reading.

    One of my all time favorites was an email that was sent in all red with really big fonts. I offer a free sample of one of the products I sell so they can try it before they buy. Send a SASE and I'll send you a sample. This guy was going to report me to the BBB, FCC, FBI, and all other legal authorities he could think of for false advertising since the stamp was going to cost him .33 (the cost of a stamp at the time).

    It's Your Money. You earned it. What are you going to do to make sure you get to keep it?

  16. #16
    Full Member
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    January 18th, 2005
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    BLFH ,

    Had those too.

    I use to give away Free LoveLeafs , but required a s.a.s.e. or a $1.00 contribution directly to a charity I was helping. ( the stamp to me plus the 2 stamps on the s.a.s.e plus the envelopes cost the consumer $1 , so rather than making the post office rich , I asked them to donate the $1 to charity , and I paid the postage to them out of pocket )

    But in all fairness I had maybe 10 "scam" complaints because they had to send the s.a.s.e. , but thousands of thank you emails. So the Nice out weighed the Nuts by a large margin.

    Toledo Swords - Collectible Heirloom Armory
    http://www.toledoswords.com

  17. #17
    Resident Genius and Staunch Capitalist Leader's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    What kind of plant is that Loveleaf from, anyway?

    It is a beautiful thing, to do nothing, and then rest afterwards.~Spanish Proverb

  18. #18
    Outsourced Program Manager Jorge - SHOPiMAR's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Florida
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    3,550
    from SSanf "offers pending your approval".

    I agree with that, what makes these people think I will wait around for the're approval. The way I look at it they should be glad to be listed on any of my sites for free, and as for "declined" I put them in my "do not ever promote" folder.

    The nerve.

  19. #19
    Full Member
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    January 18th, 2005
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    I like the ones from merchants who don't have an affiliate program, don't understand what an affiliate site is and who suffer from a little too much corporate arrogance.

    They go..."I see you have a site about where to buy widgets online. We're the largest widget seller in the US, so I'm shocked you don't list us. Please add us as soon as possible to your site"

    I simply ask them how much they're willing to pay for the referrals.

  20. #20
    ABW Ambassador Andy's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    I have Live Customer Help on a couple of my sites, and I'm amazed at how many people ask questions that we specifically state we aren't equipped to answer! We put the disclaimer right next to the button they click to contact us, and they still ask!

    People either don't read, don't understand, or expect an exception to be made just for them. I was surprised at first, but I'm not now.

    Andy

    _______________
    <font color="red">Call the Exterminators! We've Got PARASITES!</font>

  21. #21
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    St Clair Shores MI.
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    17,328
    I was at Holdup Suspender Comapny yesterday and overheard a phone call to the President. Irate customer complaining they haven't recieved the suspender order. Poor Sal is nicely trying to explain they didn't have the customers shipping address ...he hits to conference phone button.

    Sal explains the online order only had the guys name and Credit card info ...no shipping address -zip -State or phone number. Nadda! The customer vocally explains he's never had a similar problem when using this card at his local Mall. ROLMAO ...as I hear the patient President tell the guy if he'd give them the proper shipping address he'd ship it right away FREE OF CHARGE.

    The idiot on the other end of the line then say OK ...connect me with the order department...LOL. Sal later tells me he gets about 10 of these online orders per year without any shipping or contact info.

    Mike & Charlie ...

    If they won't adopt and feed a bird ..flip them one! BBQ some Gator and remember to flush WhenU..

  22. #22
    Devil's Reject Electropulse's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    from one customer:

    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>I wish for it to be sent ASAFP. I have had problems with other sites not sending me my orders when they said they would, so I would appriciate it if you do your job and send it. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    and after he was notified that the item was back-ordered.

    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>You stupid --- holes, this is the same shit the last
    company did. its funny how it wasn't out of stock when
    I ordered it. Fine, I want a refund so I can order the
    shirt from a reliable company, just as soon as I find one. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    __________
    Black Out? you gotta be sh!tting me! - Nikola Tesla (while spinning in his grave).

  23. #23
    ABW Veteran jc101's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Santa Cruz, CA
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    Wierd Haven't had any emails yet.. It's really wierd, compared to how popular we are starting to get now....

    Jason
    xtremeshopping.org
    aim: ssn jason
    <a href="http://www.xtremeshopping.org/parasiteware.html"target="_blank">Fight parasiteware!<a>

    "Do what you love and make money in the process. Turn your knowledge into income."

  24. #24
    Web Ho - Design B!tch ~Michelle's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Michigan
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    I have been getting quite a few questions too.

    I had some costume questions in the past few weeks wanting to know if I had such and such a costume in a different size, etc.

    Sometimes I get people wanting to know where their order is. I usually contact the merchant and point the customer in the right direction.

    ~Michelle

    ****************************
    "All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy."

    "Work to become, not to acquire." -- Confucius

  25. #25
    Full Member
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Leader:
    What kind of plant is that Loveleaf from, anyway?
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Hi Leader ,

    You can read about the Love Leaf at:

    http://www.loveleaf.net
    ( this link will bring up site - pop-ups and all )


    http://www.loveleaf.net/ll.html
    ( this will bring up site w/o frames and pop-ups )

    http://www.loveleaf.net/news/news1.html
    ( this will bring up my first - and only to date - newsletter on LoveLeaf - never had time to continue ) which is informative

    I no longer "promote" the loveleafs , because fullfilling requests was too time consuming especially after my wife became ill last year. But I do send them out as requests stagger in. Also it cost me over $10,000 out of pocket to share them with people last year. Now with all the medical expenses I have to actually do "profitable" work like Toledo Swords.

    All the Best,

    Cliff

    Toledo Swords - Collectible Heirloom Armory
    http://www.toledoswords.com

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