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October 9th, 2008, 06:25 PM #1New Stock Market Terms for 2008
NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS for 2008 . . . and possibly beyond:
CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.Peace,
Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic
October 9th, 2008, 06:30 PM #2
Good one, Rexanne.
Unfortunately the first couple of terms have been that way for quite a while with some [too many] companies.
October 9th, 2008, 07:40 PM #3
- Join Date
- March 2nd, 2007
Good one, Rexanne
August 25th, 2009, 06:45 PM #4
- Join Date
- August 25th, 2009
August 25th, 2009, 08:25 PM #5
This is a good chuckle! That is, if you don't play the market.Renée
Pay no attention to that woman behind the curtain. -Wizardress of Oz
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