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Thread: [CONTEST] Post a Joke - Win a Pass to Affiliate Summit

  1. #1
    AM Navigator Geno Prussakov's Avatar
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    Lightbulb [CONTEST] Post a Joke - Win a Pass to Affiliate Summit
    55 Hours Contest

    Conditions: Post your favorite joke within the next 55 hours - get a chance to win a pass to the upcoming Affiliate Summit.

    Deadline: Friday, 21 November, 8:15 PM EST.

    Prize: Gold Pass to Affiliate Summit West 2009

    Due to time constraints, there will be no voting this time. I will choose and announce the winner myself.


  2. #2
    Full Member Code Monkey's Avatar
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    A guy walks into a bar.....









    OUCH!!!

  3. #3
    Influencer Marketing GravityFed's Avatar
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    "Two guys walk in to a bar...which is kind of ridiculous because you figure once the first guy did, the second one would try and avoid it.."

    (if I happen to win I'm giving the summit pass to an Affiliate friend of mine in SLC)

  4. #4
    Moderator MichaelColey's Avatar
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    Shrek, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were all having lunch together. Shrek said, "I have always thought that I知 the strongest man in the world, but how can I be sure."

    Angelina Jolie agreed. "I知 told I知 the most gorgeous of them all, but sometimes I wonder too."

    Brad Pitt said, "I知 pretty sure I知 the sexiest man alive but I致e never had it confirmed."

    They all decided that the best way to find out if their beliefs were true was to ask the famed talking "mirror, mirror on the wall" to confirm for them whether Shrek was the strongest, Angelina Jolie was the most gorgeous and Brad Pitt was the sexiest.

    They agreed to meet again the next day for lunch to discuss their findings.

    The next day Shrek walked up with a smile. "Well, it痴 true. The mirror told me that I am the strongest man in the world." Angelina looked up and said, "Yup, I知 the most gorgeous woman aliveoh yeah!!!"

    And then Brad lifted his sad face and said

    "Who the hell is Michael Coley?"
    Michael Coley
    Amazing-Bargains.com
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  5. #5
    Analytics Dude Kevin's Avatar
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    2 atoms are walking down the street. The first says to the second, "Hey! I think I just lost an electron..."

    The second replies, "Are you sure?"

    The first shoots back, "Yeah, I'm positive!"

    (BTW, Michael Coley posters are THE X-mas stocking stuffers for teenage girls everywhere this year.)

    (Second BTW, I'm telling this joke on behalf of a very good friend as well, who I will give the ticket too if my clearly superior joke is selected.)
    Kevin Webster
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  6. #6
    ABW Ambassador VampireSkunk's Avatar
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    What's VampireSkunk's favourite type of coffee?

    Decoffinated

  7. #7
    Certified Affiliate Manager sunshiner's Avatar
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    An old couple is in a taxi in America.
    The taxi driver says "So which part of England are you folks from?"
    The old man replies "From Yorkshire"
    The old lady says "What did he say?"
    The old man says loudly"He asked which part of England we are from and I said Yorkshire"
    The taxi driver says "I've been to Yorkshire once. I stayed with an old couple. The woman was horrible, a real biatch, it put me off on ever going back to England!"
    The old lady says "What did he say?"
    The old man says "The driver says he knows you!"



    (BTW, I am not planning on giving the ticket away should my funniest joke be selected)

  8. #8
    What's the word? Rhia7's Avatar
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    It wasn't long after the honeymoon when the husband started to complain to his wife about her cooking.

    "Honey, you really could benefit from some cooking lessons from my Mother -- even your salad tastes funny."

    "My salad tastes funny? It shouldn't, I washed the lettuce with soap even!"
    ~Rhia7 -- Remember the 7
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  9. #9
    ABW Ambassador SunshineTricia's Avatar
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    The other day i was wondering, "Why is that frisbee getting bigger..." and then it hits me.
    --Tricia Meyer-- I love being the exception to the rule.

    Tricia Meyer | Helping Moms Connect | Wine Club Reviews and Ratings | Hunger Games Fan

  10. #10
    ABW Ambassador
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    You can tell that this isn't a joke forum. Oh my

  11. #11
    Influencer Marketing GravityFed's Avatar
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    So what ya got Julian?

  12. #12
    ABW Ambassador VampireSkunk's Avatar
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    Did you hear the one about the two elephants who walked off a cliff....







    BOOM
    BOOM

  13. #13
    ABW Ambassador
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    Why do cows wear bells around their neck? Because their horns don't work

    Why did Billy take a ruler to bed with him? So he could see how long he slept

    Those come from laffy taffy. You should have heard my 14 year old when she saw those. She was hysterical. There are more, but I will spare you.

  14. #14
    Believe knight01's Avatar
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    Linkshare is a trusted 3rd party.
    Someday starts today
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  15. #15
    What's the word? Rhia7's Avatar
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    This is a joke from the 1960s:

    Why did the teen-age girl want her father to quit his job?




    He was a Beatle exterminator
    ~Rhia7 -- Remember the 7
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  16. #16
    The Seal of Aproval rematt's Avatar
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    OK, so a bear walks in to a bar and says to the bartender;
    "I'll have a .........
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
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    beer."

    and the bartender says; "why the long pause?"

    and the bear replies; "I was born with them".

    -rematt
    "I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." - Richard Nixon

  17. #17
    affiliate emeritus missdonna's Avatar
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    I admit it isn't terribly funny, but I like it because I thought of it all by myself, many years ago.

    How many motorcycle cops does it take to direct traffic at an intersection?
















    Three. One to hold his arms up and two to turn the motorcycle.

    Don't give me the prize though. I won't be going.
    Affiliate Marketing - The hardest easy money I ever made.

  18. #18
    What's the word? Rhia7's Avatar
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    One man is walking out of a nightclub and a guy who is snapping his fingers bumps into him and says:

    "Sorry, man. I got the rhythm of the beat. I got the rhythm of the beat."

    He then continues but another guy who is snapping his fingers bumps into him and says: "Whoa! I got the rhythm of the beat. I got the rhythm of the beat."

    He bumps into a third guy snapping his fingers and says to him: "Don't tell me: you got the rhythm of the beat, right?"
    The guy shakes his head and says, "No, man. I got a booger on my fingers and I can't snap it off."
    ~Rhia7 -- Remember the 7
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  19. #19
    What's the word? Rhia7's Avatar
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    What do the children of monsters call their parents?



    Dead and Mummy
    ~Rhia7 -- Remember the 7
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  20. #20
    AM Navigator Geno Prussakov's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rhia7
    What do the children of monsters call their parents?



    Dead and Mummy


    Love the short ones. Keep me focused.

  21. #21
    What's the word? Rhia7's Avatar
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    What love song did the boy octopus sing to the girl octopus?


    "I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand"
    ~Rhia7 -- Remember the 7
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  22. #22
    ABW Ambassador VampireSkunk's Avatar
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    What is VampireSkunk's favourite holiday?

    Fangsgiving

  23. #23
    The Seal of Aproval rematt's Avatar
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    So a horse walks in to a bar, the bartender says "Hey, why the long face?"

    -rematt
    "I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." - Richard Nixon

  24. #24
    ABW Ambassador Boom or Bust's Avatar
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    Monday morning around the water cooler...

    Jack; Hey, I went hunting bear over the weekend.
    Joe; Hmmm, never gone hunting bear before... went fishing in my shorts once.



    X

  25. #25
    Believe knight01's Avatar
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    Ok, I'll pull some jokes off my joke site and see if you like those better than the linkshare one.

    Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
    Someday starts today
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