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  1. #1
    Member lschofield's Avatar
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    Skeptical and Critical Family Members in December
    Am I the only one with family visiting during December that get resentful when you to spend time on your websites?

    I'm making a steady income now from this, stay at home with four kids and can't do anything else really, and am regularly chastised during the holiday season for working on my website. In-laws in particular love to criticize me for 'spending so much time' (maybe 5 or 6 hours daily) on this silly internet pipedream of mine.

    How do you handle the eye rolls and nasty remarks? I'd love to hear that I'm not alone!!

    I try to show them the code I write, remark about the couple hundred $ made during Thanksgiving dinner while eating at the table, talk about progress from last year, etc... Nothing gets me any respect though
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  2. #2
    ABW Ambassador
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    I don't give a sh!t what my in-laws think of anything I do.

    Nobody understands what I do anyway.

  3. #3
    Classic Rocker Mack's Avatar
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    I've had a few minor issues with people who don't understand the concept of a home office.

    One time when family was visiting I announced "I'm going to the office for a few hours, I have some work I need to do". I went out the front door, got in my car and drove around the block, parked out back. I went in the back door then went to my office and shut the door.

  4. #4
    Beachy Bill's Avatar
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    It is a shame that you are being belittled. But I do know the feeling of being "out of touch" during holidays and when company came to visit. I "always" had something to do online. I did that for about four years until it started to pay off - BIG. Now I still work a lot of hours - but totally on my terms. Our friends and family now understand.

    Keep a thick skin and let them talk (waste their breath). In-laws, unfortunately, often fill the stereotype of being a pain. Keep doing what you are doing if it is working for you and your immediate family. Soon it will grow to the point where others may understand.
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  5. #5
    Antisocial Media Expert ProWebAddict's Avatar
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    I have given up the desire of wanting my family to accept and respect what I do. It's hard to really respect something you don't understand.

    Besides, I don't care what anyone thinks....unless they would kindly like to offer to pay all of my bills.

  6. #6
    Full Member OICUAM2's Avatar
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    If you know you are doing what you want to do, then just have the self confidence to ignore the criticisms. People always poo poo what they don't understand. Plus, they gfet their own self confidence from getting up every day and going to work for someone else. So someone who can make money without going through this daily ritual is a threat to their own lifestyle and confidence.

  7. #7
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    I have the same sentiments as you do. I find fulfillment in my present computer job although I sometimes failed to sleep on time. But I find it worthy because I'm able to pay my bills and better still be with my children after finishing my job.

  8. #8
    Comfortably Numb John Powell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lschofield
    How do you handle the eye rolls and nasty remarks? I'd love to hear that I'm not alone!!
    My friends think that I am at home loafing all day. They don't come out and say it but you can tell. It bothers me less and less.


  9. #9
    ABW Ambassador affninja's Avatar
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    The thought of making money in my sleep or while I'm at the golf course (or while eating Thanksgiving dinner) is consolation enough for me. The truth of it is they're probably jealous that they have to get up and go to work at their "real" jobs tomorrow!

  10. #10
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by affninja
    The truth of it is they're probably jealous that they have to get up and go to work at their "real" jobs tomorrow!
    I agree. People can't deal with someone working smarter, not harder. Pisses the ordinary off. :-)

    In laws are the plague! LOL - When I wasn't working on web sites, but had a "real" job, although working form a home office that was set up in my living room, my in laws came to visit for the holidays. I'd be on the phone at my desk with various "big shot" executives and my father-in-law (who I adored, btw) would turn the TV on and crank the volume so he could hear over my conversation. About drove me bat sh!t - The lack of respect was intolerable.

    I think all visitors need to be forewarned that we work from home, it's a "real" job and needs to be respected as much as if we went to an office every day. You, or your spouse, need to make that very clear. A guest interfering with or disrespecting your work is absolutely unacceptable and beyond rude. Your spouse should be intervening with his parents.

    In laws should also be made aware of the fact that you are staying home to be with THEIR grand child.

    And don't invite them next year.
    Peace,

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  11. #11
    Full Member 1stAngel's Avatar
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    WELL SAID!!!!

    My life partner always explains to my 'in laws' that I have to work when they are there....they havent really got it yet but, when I was able to lend them some money recently they got it then LOL

  12. #12
    Outsourced Program Manager TrishaLyn's Avatar
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    Luckily my mother-in-law works from home doing medical transcription work, so she understands the concept.

    Perhaps if you explain to them that this is your business and that it does make money for the family they'll back off. That and not caring quite as much about their rude comments might help ease the tension.

    Good luck getting through the rest of the season and keep up the dream!

  13. #13
    Best New ABW Member 2007 sfcom's Avatar
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    As someone once told me, doing what you need to do to provide for your family is a respectable thing. That includes eBay, affiliate sites, etc. Never be ashamed. There are many others out there who have totally given up and rely on parents, lawsuits, or other means they use to get the money they need. Bringing it in yourself has a certain meaning. It doesn't mean you are better than others that don't. It just means that you are doing something right and should feel great about it.

    So, if you sell flowers near the industrial district, clean out horse stalls, cut the meat at the grocery store, design buildings, or work online...it is all making a living. It takes all of us to make the country tick. One thing with the online work is that you are constantly learning. Education is priceless.

    -sfcom


  14. #14
    Moderator leeann's Avatar
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    Congrats on being a working-at-home mom w/ four children. I can't imagine how tough that would be to balance. Tell your husband to explain it to his parents and forget it.
    leeann


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  15. #15
    ABW Ambassador Greg Rice's Avatar
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    I wouldn't even let it bother you. Most people don't understand self employment so they're quick to criticize. You need to believe in yourself as that's what matters most.

    I was in pre-med school when I decided to chase the dream. Then, the dream was building websites and not affiliate marketing but the reaction was the same as you get. Even my wife was annoyed with the amount of time I spent on something she didn't understand, but she believed in me and that's all I needed. The in-laws didn't like it much but I knew at the end of the day it's what my wife thought and what I thought of myself.

    Now, I make more than all of my relatives so nobody gives me a hard time anyway At get-togethers when they complain about their commute I'm happy to remind them my communte is about 30 seconds. When they whine about their boss I just tell them my boss is demanding but he treats me very well. If they truly cared, they would support you, period. If they don't, to heck with them.
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  16. #16
    Member lschofield's Avatar
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    Glad to hear I'm not alone. My husband thinks I spend 'every waking minute' doing this, so I've decided to record the exact times I'm working, as of today. I suppose the fairies do everything else around the house while I work on my site. Oh well. Income has really grown this year, another year with growth like that and hopefully they'll all be quiet. At the end of the day, the house is relatively tidy for 4 kids, everyone is clean, clothed and adjusted, and I take the kids out regularly to museums and zoos, etc.. The bills are all paid, we have home-cooked food every night, so I don't know what they're complaining about.

    And yeah, I think any kind of working at home is difficult for the ordinary to understand!
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  17. #17
    Classic Rocker Mack's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lschofield
    My husband thinks I spend 'every waking minute' doing this, ... I suppose the fairies do everything else around the house while I work on my site.
    He's a little video for your husband to watch.

    http://bewareofthedoghouse.com/VideoPage.aspx

  18. #18
    Member lschofield's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mack
    He's a little video for your husband to watch.

    http://bewareofthedoghouse.com/VideoPage.aspx
    LOVE IT!!!
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  19. #19
    ABW Ambassador flamingoworld's Avatar
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    Yeah well if you start making tons of money they will be the first ones in line with their hands out. Had that happen to me with family.

  20. #20
    Outsourced Program Manager TrishaLyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lschofield
    Glad to hear I'm not alone. My husband thinks I spend 'every waking minute' doing this, so I've decided to record the exact times I'm working, as of today. I suppose the fairies do everything else around the house while I work on my site.
    I use a program called Time Sled that I dl'd from download.com - it's a free trial but it works great to track the time you spend on projects. Hopefully that will help show your husband that it's a good idea.

    Although you'd think the money coming in would convince him well enough lol

  21. #21
    Shimmy Shimmy Bang Bang shimmy's Avatar
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    My family know it's a hard full time job. When they visit they never disturb me much. However, I take the days completely off on certain days and don't touch my PC at all like the 4 day Thanksgiving weekend. Also Christmas Eve though New Years Day.

  22. #22
    Lite On The Do, Heavy On The Nuts Donuts's Avatar
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    though i've explained it for hours, my brother still, after all these years, thinks i'm involved in something a "little shady". he's a corporate type guy, loves titles and structure and meetings. he's the shredded wheat, and i'm the donuts. and i can't imagine life without sprinkles.

  23. #23
    Troll Killer and best Snooper!
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    Trisha Lynn, my MIL also works at home doing medical transcription and it took her years to come to grips with what I do for a living. At a party here I overheard her tell her brother, "Rhea is pretty much retired at this point," and I had to leave the room to keep from having an outburst in front of everyone. In private I asked my husband to straighten her out on the matter of my so-called retirement. I even told him to feel free to tell her how many hours I work and how much money I earned the previous year. Well I haven't heard another negative comment from her since, so that worked. (Oh yeah, she always calls me first when she has a problem with her PC.)

    As for my own family, they totally get it. My dad is very proud of me. He doesn't understand WHAT I do (he's computer illiterate) but he gets that I'm self-employed, that it's lucrative and that I'm happy.

  24. #24
    Full Member TerriFalcone's Avatar
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    If you are getting a steady income why not tell them so. Perhaps it is time for your husband to clue in his folks.
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  25. #25
    Outsourced Program Manager TrishaLyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rhea
    Trisha Lynn, my MIL also works at home doing medical transcription and it took her years to come to grips with what I do for a living. At a party here I overheard her tell her brother, "Rhea is pretty much retired at this point," and I had to leave the room to keep from having an outburst in front of everyone.
    Oh man, that would have sent me on a tear! Good thing that whatever your husband said to her set the record straight

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