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  1. #1
    Super Dawg Member Phil Kaufman aka AffiliateHound's Avatar
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    Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:
    1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

    2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

    3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

    4. A dog's parents never visit.

    5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

    6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

    7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

    8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

    9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, 'If I died, would you get another dog?'

    10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

    11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

    12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

    13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

    And last, but not least:
    14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.
    Since June 10, 2012 a vegan aarf but still writing the Hound Dawg Sports Blog
    "If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?" -John Wooden;
    "Raj, there’s no place for truth on the internet." -Howard Wolowitz[/SIZE]

  2. #2
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    LOL - unfortunately, all true but wives still have a few redeeming qualities dogs don't:

    1) Wives can cook
    2) Wives make better lovers (although you have to work harder! LOL)
    3) Wives will let you know you're being an ass (dogs will let you make a fool of yourself because they don't care either way)
    4) You can have a 2 way conversation with your wife.

    That's all I've got - ladies - feel free to add to this list!
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  3. #3
    Affiliate Manager Peggy - BeachAudio's Avatar
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    LOL- I needed a chuckle in the middle of the week.

    I also wanted to add to the wives list:
    - You don't have to feed your wife, She'll probably feed you.
    - You're wife can hold a conversation
    - You never have to pick up your wife's duties.
    - You're wife will never give you fleas.

    And I'm sure there are a million more reason wives are better than dogs.
    Peggy Diaz
    [email=peggy@beachaudio.com]peggy@beachaudio.com[/email]
    Toll free 877-804-0495 x7004
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    Twitter: @peggybeachaudio

  4. #4
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peggy - BeachAudio

    I also wanted to add to the wives list:
    - You don't have to feed your wife, She'll probably feed you.
    - You're wife can hold a conversation
    - You never have to pick up your wife's duties.
    - You're wife will never give you fleas.
    Good ones Peggy! # 3 made me LOL
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  5. #5
    ABW Ambassador JoyUnltd's Avatar
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    Take your pick!

    HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN


    1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
    2. Dogs miss you when you're gone.
    3. Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong.
    4. Dogs admit when they're jealous.
    5. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
    6. Dogs do not play games with you-except fetch (and they never
    laugh at how you throw.)
    7. You can train a dog.
    8. Dogs are easy to buy for.
    9. The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
    10. Dogs understand what "no" means.
    11. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

    HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME

    1. Both take up too much space on the bed.
    2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
    3. Both mark their territory.
    4. Neither tells you what's bothering them.
    5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
    6. Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.
    7. Neither does any dishes.
    8. Both fart shamelessly.
    9. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
    10. Both like dominance games.
    11. Both are suspicious of the postman.
    12. Neither understands what you see in cats.
    Renée
    Pay no attention to that woman behind the curtain. -Wizardress of Oz

  6. #6
    Affiliate Manager Peggy - BeachAudio's Avatar
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    Joyunltd that is awesome. I needed an afternoon bump.
    Peggy Diaz
    [email=peggy@beachaudio.com]peggy@beachaudio.com[/email]
    Toll free 877-804-0495 x7004
    AIM: peggybeachaudio
    Twitter: @peggybeachaudio

  7. #7
    Moderator BurgerBoy's Avatar
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    How to speak about women and be politically correct:

    She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

    She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

    She is not a DUMB BLONDE - She is a LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF OF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

    She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.

    She is not a NAG - She is VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

    She is not a TWO-BIT HOOKER - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

    How to speak about men and be politically correct:

    He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID STORAGE FACILITY.

    He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

    He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

    He is not BALDING - He has FOLLICLE IMPAIRMENT.

    He does not act like a TOTAL A$$ - He developes a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

    It is not his CRACK you see hanging out of his pants when he bends over - It is REAR CLEAVAGE.

  8. #8
    ABW Ambassador JoyUnltd's Avatar
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    Best quote I ever heard about true equality:
    Women will be equal to men when they can strut down the street with a beer belly, be balding and still think they're sexy!
    Renée
    Pay no attention to that woman behind the curtain. -Wizardress of Oz

  9. #9
    Ride It Like You Stole It CowgirlUp's Avatar
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    Oh my....those are all great!!

    Best I can think of is:

    Men, remember, a woman always has the last word in an argument. Anything you say after that is the start of a new argument.
    Be the change you want to see in the world ~ Gandhi

  10. #10
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CowgirlUp
    Oh my....those are all great!!

    Best I can think of is:

    Men, remember, a woman always has the last word in an argument. Anything you say after that is the start of a new argument.
    I have to agree with you on that one!

    Check this out... Colorado Bans Woman's 'Tofu' License Plate

  11. #11
    Ride It Like You Stole It CowgirlUp's Avatar
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    oh that's too good Mr.Sal!
    Be the change you want to see in the world ~ Gandhi

  12. #12
    ABW Ambassador JoyUnltd's Avatar
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    Rexanne: "You can have a 2 way conversation with your wife." Or is it they'd rather have a one-way conversation?!
    Peggy - Beach Audio: "You don't have to feed your wife, She'll probably feed you." Men should never forget this one!
    Mr. Sal, I'll never think about tofu the same way!
    Cowgirl Up, painfully (for men) true.
    Burger Boy: "He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS." This goes in my "tactful reminders for men" book!

    & Affiliate Hound: Thank you for starting such an inspirational thread!
    Renée
    Pay no attention to that woman behind the curtain. -Wizardress of Oz

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