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  1. #1
    Affiliate Manager Howard Gottlieb's Avatar
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    December 30th, 2006
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    Dead Duck
    A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary clinic.
    As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

    After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said,
    "I'm sorry, your duck (Cuddles) has passed away."

    The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

    "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead", replied the vet.

    "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
    The vet rolled his eyes, turned around, and left the room.

    He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever.
    As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table, and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

    The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.

    A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, and strolled out of the room.

    The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

    The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried; "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!?"

    The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but.....with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan,
    it's now $150.
    I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die
    to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there
    isn't and die to find out there is.

  2. #2
    Affiliate Manager guinness618's Avatar
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    December 12th, 2007
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    Charlottesville, VA
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    When my stepdaughter was little and she fell on her knee, he ran his hand up and down her leg while "meowing". His idea of a cat scan.
    Dyan Carlson
    ["My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness."- The Dalai Lama

  3. #3
    ABW Ambassador writerguy's Avatar
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    January 17th, 2005
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    Springfield, Missouri, USA
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    3,248
    Howard. You absolutely made my day! Thanks for sharing that one. It's destined to be a classic.
    Generate more fake news.

  4. #4
    Full Member snappy's Avatar
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    February 21st, 2009
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    Palm Bay Florida/Portland, Oregon
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    Thanks for that.....
    I attract success and abundance into my life because that is who I am.

  5. #5
    Newbie lody's Avatar
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    October 24th, 2009
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    That was really funny! The Lab scan and Cat scan.lol

  6. #6
    Affiliate Manager
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    May 14th, 2009
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    I missed this one when it was originally posted. Very funny. Thanks for the laugh.

  7. #7
    Beachy Bill's Avatar
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    November 20th, 2005
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    8,266
    Loved it. Thanks.

    Off to email it to a couple of cat-lover friends.
    Bill / Marketing Blog @ 12PM - Current project: Resurrecting my "baby" at South Baltimore..
    Cute Personal Checks and Business Checks
    If you are too busy to laugh you are too busy.

  8. #8
    Affiliate Manager BlogBonnieBlog's Avatar
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    July 28th, 2009
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    526
    my dad's a dr. he'll love this one! thanks for the laugh

  9. #9
    Affiliate Manager Veena krishnappa's Avatar
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    July 21st, 2009
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    India, UK
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    241
    Thank for sharing this.

  10. #10
    Affiliate Manager harrymond's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    India / Thailand
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    1,550
    LOL
    Cheers,

    Harry.
    Mondera Affiliate Manager
    http://www.mondera.com/affiliate_support/
    Winner of the LinkShare 2004 Golden Link Awards "Affiliate's Choice Award"
    Winner of the 2002 Abestweb.com "Best Affiliate Program Award"

  11. #11
    ABW Ambassador JoyUnltd's Avatar
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    January 19th, 2005
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    Emerald City
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    2,019
    Tres sweet & funny! Thanx!
    Renée
    Pay no attention to that woman behind the curtain. -Wizardress of Oz

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