Results 1 to 11 of 11
September 3rd, 2009, 04:12 PM #1Dead Duck
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary clinic.
As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said,
"I'm sorry, your duck (Cuddles) has passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead", replied the vet.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around, and left the room.
He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever.
As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table, and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.
A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried; "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!?"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but.....with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan,
it's now $150.I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die
to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there
isn't and die to find out there is.
September 3rd, 2009, 04:31 PM #2
When my stepdaughter was little and she fell on her knee, he ran his hand up and down her leg while "meowing". His idea of a cat scan.Dyan Carlson
["My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness."- The Dalai Lama
September 3rd, 2009, 06:28 PM #3
Howard. You absolutely made my day! Thanks for sharing that one. It's destined to be a classic.Generate more fake news.
September 3rd, 2009, 07:51 PM #4
Thanks for that.....I attract success and abundance into my life because that is who I am.
November 11th, 2009, 11:29 AM #5
November 11th, 2009, 01:44 PM #6
- Join Date
- May 14th, 2009
I missed this one when it was originally posted. Very funny. Thanks for the laugh.
November 11th, 2009, 03:31 PM #7
November 11th, 2009, 05:14 PM #8
my dad's a dr. he'll love this one! thanks for the laugh
November 12th, 2009, 01:11 AM #9
November 12th, 2009, 01:58 AM #10
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November 12th, 2009, 07:08 AM #11
Tres sweet & funny! Thanx!Renée
Pay no attention to that woman behind the curtain. -Wizardress of Oz