Some of my favorite Fran Lebowitz quotes for your amusement. Hope you enjoy as much as I do:

"Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully."

"Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching."

"All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable."

"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail."

"My favorite animal is steak."