Results 1 to 11 of 11
April 24th, 2010, 02:37 PM #1
How to avoid speeding tickets
- Join Date
- January 18th, 2005
A mature (over 50) lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
April 24th, 2010, 04:08 PM #2
That's a good one!Rick M.
I would rather have a bottle in front of me, than have a frontal lobotomy!
Does your bubblegum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?
April 24th, 2010, 06:01 PM #3
Good one, I heard it before somewhere but it wasn't an old lady. I wouldn't try that today though.[URL="http://www.manageaffiliatelinks.com/"][COLOR="Red"][B]Manage Affiliate Links[/B][/COLOR][/URL] - Redirect Dead, Expired, or Broken Links
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April 30th, 2010, 12:05 PM #4
Classic! Though she would probably have gotten arrested for disturbing the peace.
May 3rd, 2010, 01:25 PM #5
These days you would probably just get tasered before the officer called for backup!
May 5th, 2010, 07:36 AM #6
- Join Date
- April 20th, 2010
True...Another fan ran on the field last night...but he was not tasered.
June 1st, 2010, 11:59 AM #7
June 1st, 2010, 12:03 PM #8
- Join Date
- January 4th, 2006
June 23rd, 2010, 11:13 AM #9
- Join Date
- June 23rd, 2010
That was very smart of the ol' lady lol, the officer was like "Back up Please!"
June 24th, 2010, 08:23 AM #10
roflmao! good one!!!Be the change you want to see in the world ~ Gandhi
June 24th, 2010, 08:31 AM #11
Haha. That's awesome!Jill Swartwout, President
Beaches and Towns Network, Inc
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