Deck the halls and grab your ankles,
Fa, la, la, la, laaa,
La, la la la.

We hope you are enjoying the holiday season with a bright 2011 ahead. We have an important update for all of our affiliates. As of January 12th 2011, our baseline commission will be changing from a tiered 10%-12% to a flat 6%. This will allow us to continue our 15% off coupon offer moving forward and allow for other types of promotions in the future. We appreciate the hard work of our affiliates and believe this change will help increase sales, which in turn will serve you better over the long run.
...and this is my favorite part...

We would not make this change if we believed it was detrimental to our loyal affiliates.
I don't see how a 40% to 50% drop in commission could possibly be detrimental. I could probably do perfectly fine without a lung also.

... and lastly, lest we all forget where we came from ...

In addition, a research study conducted for the 2010 edition of the Internet Retailer Top 500 Guide, revealed that 1-800-FLOWERS.COM posted the highest individual conversion rate in the flowers and gifts category, with an industry-leading 17%! Overall...
...and we'll all now make 40% less on those conversions. Bah-humbug!!

Are there any decent floral programs left?