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  1. #1
    Domain Addict / Formerly known as elbowcreek Thomas A. Rice's Avatar
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    So, before the little league game, the coach says to my son, "Be pumped and ready for when I call your name out to go in!" And my son says, "Okay!" Real enthusistic like.

    And of course, the coach then ignores my kid for the entire game, and he never even plays one play. He even pulled him out of the kickoff team and put in someone else, so he didn't even get in on a kickoff.

    Grrrr! Last game of the season, dang coach breaks my kid's heart.

    I'm sorry, but in 5th/6th grade football, every kid should get a chance to play, even if it's only for a few plays. You got 22 spots where you cam squeeze a kid in, there's just no excuse for it.

    That coach taught my kid a valuable lesson today: You can show up to every practice, be the third fastest kid on the team, listen and do as the coach says, and he STILL won't play you.

    What a dumb@ss coach. 6 kids did not get to participate in the last game of the season. Oh, and the team lost, probably the excellent coaching staff, my guess.

    Grrrr! Nothing ticks me off like when I feel someone is messing with my kid.
    Following everyone else is a GREAT way to become average.

  2. #2
    Domain Addict / Formerly known as elbowcreek Thomas A. Rice's Avatar
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    - - - - - -
    That coach taught my kid a valuable lesson today: You can show up to every practice, be the third fastest kid on the team, listen and do as the coach says, and he STILL won't play you.
    - - - - - -

    Which is, by the way, another GREAT reason for being in affiliate marketing: your destiny is up to you, not some lard butt two bit coach.
    Following everyone else is a GREAT way to become average.

  3. #3
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    That's awful. I hope you spoke to the coach about it. I would also suggest speaking to the person in charge of running the little league. Every kid should play in every game. Period.

    I hope your son wasn't too hurt by it but I'm sure he was at least a little. What a way to turn kids OFF sports.

  4. #4
    ABW Ambassador buy_online's Avatar
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    This sort of thing touches a raw nerve with me. I have coached Ice Hockey for many years and at many levels. I just wanted to say I feel for you, and that you shouldn't put up with that crap for one second. At that age level the kids are playing developmental Football, as such everyone should get equal time on the field.

    In my case (in hockey) we give every kid as close to equal time on the ice that we can. If it is time for a shift change and the chips are down, and the least skilled players are next - guess what? - they go out.

    Regretfully in all sports, there are coaches who just don't have a grip on reality.

    I would ask if the coach is certified. I would also go to the league authorities and complain. You may not get immediate satisfaction, but at least your complaint may put this coach on their radar screen as an idiot.

    Don't let the situation fade away.

    Fred

  5. #5
    Domain Addict / Formerly known as elbowcreek Thomas A. Rice's Avatar
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    If I had spoken to the coach, it woulda been kinda ugly, and I wasn't going to do that in front of my kids. I will speak to him about it in a couple days. My son was crying at the end of the game: and this kid never does that.

    The coach gave a little speech at the end of the game and told those that didn't get to play that they were going to be competing for positions for the rest of their lives, so they better get used to it. That's just one helluva message to give a buncha 11 year olds. It's not enough that innocence ends in high school anymore, he's got to end it for them in 5th grade, jeeese.
    Following everyone else is a GREAT way to become average.

  6. #6
    ABW Ambassador JJJay's Avatar
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    What a bastard, if you know this A Holes email address then click on the following link,

    http://www.pinstruck.com/curse.php3

    I know its petty but it will freak him out

  7. #7
    More Cheesier Than Ever Cheesehead's Avatar
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    That was a bit inappropriate on the part of the coach for this age group - probably OK for 15-18 yr olds but not 11-yr olds. I helped to coach 7-11 year-olds in baseball, and all the kids played, as it should be at that age.
    This World is Not My Home
    We're gonna go inside, we're gonna go outside, inside and outside. . . And then we're gonna go go go and we're not gonna stop til we get across that goalline! Quotes from the movie Rudy, 1993

  8. #8
    Domain Addict / Formerly known as elbowcreek Thomas A. Rice's Avatar
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    jjjay- That's a cute website, heh, that could be useful!
    Following everyone else is a GREAT way to become average.

  9. #9
    ABW Ambassador JJJay's Avatar
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    Click the link below to see what he will get,

    http://www.pinstruck.com/box.php3?HEX=5291804401378

  10. #10
    Super Sh!t Stirrer SSanf's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> The coach gave a little speech at the end of the game and told those that didn't get to play that they were going to be competing for positions for the rest of their lives, so they better get used to it. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>My daughter, the engineer, had already figured that out by the time she was potty trained. I know because she saw one other kid using the potty and she decided right then and there not to ever again let herself be out done by anyone. In college and while getting her masters, she suffered the humiliation of getting a "B" once. After that total devistation, she never let it happen again. All her other grades were "A"s.

    I don't think my son has it figured out at 21. Or, he just doesn't care to compete.

    I mention her grades to show that there are people who are total all out competitors and those who aren't.

    Who knows what makes the difference. I raised them both and I haven't a clue.

    I do know this, though. Being able to compete is not a predictor of a person's capacity for happiness.

    So, teach your child this. A good life is not built around winning or losing or being choosen to play the game. It is built on having one good day and that one good day should be today. Find something good about today no matter how bad it may have been in every other way. A long series of good todays is what makes a good life.

    If nothing else went right about that day, the good was that he had parents who cared. Every day can be a good day. Teach that.
    Comments are opinion unless otherwise noted. Remember, pillage first. Then burn. Half of all people in the world have IQs under 100. You best learn to trust ol' SSanf!

  11. #11
    Defender of Truth, Justice and the Affiliate Way
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    EC..you are justified in your outrage. That's certianly not what sports at that age is supposed to be about. A terrible coach for sure. And unfortunately I've seen parents who are just as bad or worse than that coach when it comes sports for kids that age. Present company excluded of course.

  12. #12
    ABW Ambassador phillyburbs's Avatar
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    EC:

    I've posted about youth sports many times here (and on other boards), so my feelings are clear. This is exactly the kind of thing that sours youth sports for so many kids. The statistics are clear - most kids bail out of organized sports by 10 or 11. The number one reason: They aren't fun anymore.

    I'm sure this will get long-winded, but ...



    I coach Noah's flag football team and I made it clear to my parents that the emphasis would be on fun. Every body plays, everybody gets a "rest" (no more than one or two plays in a row) and everybody gets to run with the ball. We have three rules on our team: Hustle. Listen to your coaches. Be a good teammate. Part of the latter is not being greedy about asking to run the ball.

    Now there are several coaches in our league who only let a few boys play QB or even run the ball. I never let someone carry the ball twice in one game unless everyone else has had a chance. The younger and/or less talented kids usually get to run in the 2-point conversions (which our kids see as TDs anyway). Every one of our 11 boys have carried the ball into the end zone at some time this year.

    I spoke with the mom of one of best athletes and said that her son must be frustrated by not getting to run the ball more often. "It's teaching him patience," she said. "And these kids need to learn patience."

    She then proceeded to tell me that many of his coaches were too intense, too focused on winning. She said he's having a lot of fun and always asking when the next game is, something he rarely does for other sports.

    It warms my heart to see these kids having so much fun. And they've taken the last rule to heart - they're great teammates. They ask if I saw the block they threw or they tell their teammate that they'll block someone so their teammate can score a touchdown). My favorite part about us scoring is that who ever gets into the end zone gets mobbed by the rest of the team. They just swamp 'em. It's incredible.

    I recounted the statistic about kids dropping out at age 10 to my parents. Most of these boys, I told them, won't play beyond middle school. This is there chance to wear a jersey on a real football field with the lights on and people watching and carry a football in real game. If they don't get the opportunity now, when will they get it?

    I could go on forever on this subject, but I'll end the rant here. EC, I'm sad to hear this story.

  13. #13
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    Karl,
    From the other side of the coin, I quit coaching because of situations like this in youth sports. As a youth hockey coach (5-7 year olds) I told my team that every kid would play one game as goalie and every kid would play one game at center and starters would vary every week so everybody got a chance. I told my team's parents this as well.

    The kids loved it, each taking their turn and trying out new positions and getting to play for fun. Heck at that age we probably shouldn't even be keeping score. As is usual, we had one or two players who were exceptional and one or two that could barely skate. The last game of the season determined whether the team made the playoffs and I had a few parents complaining that we were not playing to "win" and should only be playing the star players. As it turns out it was our star goal scorer whose turn it was to play goalie. And he was so excited to play that spot that I wasn't going to pull him so that he could score goals.

    To shorten the story, I didn't have any kids in the league, just an avid hockey fan that wanted to help kids. After a season ending loss and lectures from a few of the parents about the importance of winning, I decided to hang up my whistle and stick to coaching in camps and schools instead of leagues.

    PS, it was the parents of the worst player on the team that were berating me. Go figure. And the kids had a blast regardless.
    Chris Mayr
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    There is a finite amount of intelligence but an infinite amount of stupidity in the universe

  14. #14
    Super Sh!t Stirrer SSanf's Avatar
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    A question, though. Since it is, in many areas of life, a dog eat dog world, and being aware that others may fight to win at all cost and at some level, one MUST be able to pull out all the stops and win, how do you plan to teach this to your childern?

    At some point you must teach them to fight with everything they have and to never give up no matter what. Their very survival may depend on it. The well being of those who depend on them may depend on them being able to do it.

    How do you plan to teach that? Is it something you CAN teach? And, what role does sports play in this life lesson?
    Comments are opinion unless otherwise noted. Remember, pillage first. Then burn. Half of all people in the world have IQs under 100. You best learn to trust ol' SSanf!

  15. #15
    ABW Ambassador phillyburbs's Avatar
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    Ssanf:

    You are 100% correct. It's a matter of age & maturity, though.

  16. #16
    Domain Addict / Formerly known as elbowcreek Thomas A. Rice's Avatar
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    Thank you all for your comments, and sorry for starting a rant thread, just frustrated. Felt like the coach really set my kid up, telling him to listen for his name and be ready to play, then not even let him in for one play. There were five other sets of parents that were really ticked off as well!

    Evan has a real competitive streak in him, he's one of those guys that loves to get in there and try hard. If he does poorly, he gets back up and tries harder, so I think he'll do well in life. That coach just really let him down, and it's always hard to see your kid be hurt on purpose.

    Couldn't sleep last night I was so ticked off, so I created a small site on dumb#&$ little league coaches: now all I need is a domain name .
    Following everyone else is a GREAT way to become average.

  17. #17
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    Not cool to tease a kid like that...

    Next time you guys are in Chi-town, we can arrange a pickup game, even if we have to play in snow drifts?

    - Carolyn

  18. #18
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    As a parent of a so-so 7 year old baseball player, his little league coaches couldn't have handled their team any better than they did.

    Each game, every player switched positions every inning. The batting order changed each game so that everyone got the chance to play every spot in the order, etc. These guys were all about self esteem and fun, not WIN WIN WIN, like many parents we all know.

    It is indeed disgusting to see coaches leading kids on and then breaking their hearts. We all know most of these kids aren't going pro. Eventually, it will be about who's the best, but come on, when you're in Little League, who really cares?

    I feel for you EC and hopefully your son wont' get the short end of the stick nexty year.

  19. #19
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>The coach gave a little speech at the end of the game and told those that didn't get to play that they were going to be competing for positions for the rest of their lives, so they better get used to it. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Oh man, that's just disgusting...

  20. #20
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    Some of these kid's team coaches get a weird ego/power trip thing going where they are living their life vicariously through the kids, becasue they never managed to become sports stars themselves.

    A guy who lived up the street form me was a little league coach, and whenever one of his sons had a bad day (strike out several times, fail to catch a pop fly) he would beat them and ground them for the week.

    I bet his blood is still boiling to this day because one of the other neighbor's kids made it to the major leagues and rocked 7 MIL per year during the mid 90's.

  21. #21
    ABW Ambassador buy_online's Avatar
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    I forgot to make another point that is extremely important. Giving equal playing time, does NOT take away from teaching kids about competing.

    For those of you who don't know (and there are a couple of you), you can easily teach kids how to compete, and that there are winners and losers in life - it's done through playing the game. If a kid doesn't get to play in the game at all - then he can't learn about winners and losers - because he's not even part of the game.

    Going completely to the other extreme, there are others who fell we shouldn't even keep score at early ages, that's silly. But, we can at least let kids all participate in the game.

    There's no need to confront the coachm he's obviously not going to be receptive, and may even lead to a confrontation. Go directly to the league authorities - put it in writing, have more than one set pf parents sign it.

    Fred

  22. #22
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> After that total devistation, she never let it happen again. All her other grades were "A"s. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> its a shame mum did not get "A"s for spelling

    I totally agree with EC all the kids should get on the field/diamond/whatever at least once each time they attend.

    Ssanf I know you mean well but come on, let the kids have a carefree childhood before they have to start learning about the hard knocks of life.
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
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  23. #23
    Super Sh!t Stirrer SSanf's Avatar
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    Yep. you sure caught me that time. I am on my daughter's computer and can't find the darned spell checker so expect some inovative writing skills. I know that spelling is my weak area. Being aware, I normally check for and correct spelling errors.

    Here's something, did you ever have to raise a kid that was educationaly ahead of you by the age 12 and you had completed college? Now, there is a task.

    Well, like I said, I don't know if the ability to compete can be taught. Part of it is the toss of the genetic dice you got when you came into being. You may have the ability to compete and you may not. And, like the kid who was beaten for dropping a ball, nothing in your environment may be able to make you competitive either. Some may just have a lot in life to fulfill. Otherwise, why is there such disparity even among people with similar social advantages?

    However, we must do the best we can to help kids do the best they can with what they have. For instance, among other things, they need to be taught to recognize their weak areas and use spell checkers and other tools when they can.

    I don't know that childhood should or was ever intended to be all that carefree or if that is even possible. Honestly, I think that is a myth and wishful thinking on the part of adults. I think childhood may be the hardest and most worrisome, stressful time of life. That is when the brain is growing. The ability to learn some skills diminishes and the opportunity to learn easily is gone at a certain point. Language skills is an example. I don't know what other kinds of learning skills are also lost after the end of childhood and I am pretty sure you don't either. But, I am pretty sure the potential winners and losers get sorted out somewhere in childhood. Whether you are an alpha personality or another type, childhood is when you learn how to survive in your position, or not. That is when the weak learn to make alliances and the strong learn to lead.

    That would be an interesting study. Probably, it has been done, somewhere.
    Comments are opinion unless otherwise noted. Remember, pillage first. Then burn. Half of all people in the world have IQs under 100. You best learn to trust ol' SSanf!

  24. #24
    Domain Addict / Formerly known as elbowcreek Thomas A. Rice's Avatar
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    Just as a followup...... Checked around and the 3rd/4th grade football coach only played his starters in the final game as well. Jeeese, that's crazy! He did, at least, tell his team before the game that they were limiting play to the starters/4th graders, so at least he was honest with the kids. Still, I don't see how it is that important to label 9 and 10 year olds as starters and second stringers.
    Following everyone else is a GREAT way to become average.

  25. #25
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    Wow...a lot of varying opinions and points of view.

    As the father of a 7 year old boy and a 4 year old girl, I can attest to the fact some children are born competitive and others need...."encouragement".

    My son for instance...he is truly an artist, poet, creative thinker. During soccer games it is not unusual for him to stop and pick up a leaf and study it in great detail while dear old dad is yelling "GABBY, PAY ATTENTION!" from the sidelines. He doesn't care about competing (at least in sports...try and beat him at Xbox though and it is another matter).

    My daughter is the polar opposite...if her big brother is doing it she wants to do it. She learned all of her letters and numbers before she turned two because my son was learning them. She had to learn to write her name at age 3 because her brother was doing it. She competes at EVERYTHING and gets very frustrated when she doesn't win.

    I fear for my son's ability to compete in life, but I also know that placing too much emphasis on minor sporting events in kindergarten is counter productive. I assume he will grow up and learn that he has to compete to succeed. I didn't play any sports until 5th grade football.

    We had starters and 2nd string. I wasn't a starter and seldom played that year. All it did was make me hungry to play and made me try harder in practice. By juniorhigh I was first string in football and basketball.

    We place too much emphasis on not hurting our kids feelings. Elbow, your son will be a better person for the minor injustice that was inflicted upon him. I understand the pain YOU felt however. As a parent, it is hard to see someone wound your kids emotionally...and you will remember it long after he has forgotten.

    I bet in the long run he will be better for it.

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