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  1. #1
    ABW Ambassador JoyUnltd's Avatar
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    January 19th, 2005
    Emerald City
    A Mothers Dictionary
    Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.

    Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside.

    Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.

    Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

    Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

    Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

    Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.

    Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

    Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

    Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

    Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

    Look out: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

    Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.

    Prepared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.

    Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

    Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.

    Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

    Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.

    Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

    Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

    Two-minute warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

    Verbal: Able to whine in words

    Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.

    Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."
    Last edited by JoyUnltd; February 18th, 2011 at 11:48 AM.
    Pay no attention to that woman behind the curtain. -Wizardress of Oz

  2. #2
    Moderator MichaelColey's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
    Mansfield, TX
    Good ones.

  3. #3
    Beachy Bill's Avatar
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    November 20th, 2005
    Cute. Over the years we have certainly experienced every one of those.
    Bill / Marketing Blog @ 12PM - Current project: Resurrecting my "baby" at South Baltimore..
    Cute Personal Checks and Business Checks
    If you are too busy to laugh you are too busy.

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