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  1. #1
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Edmonton Canada
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    Just got these emailed from the UK hope I they don't offend anyone.

    An Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.

    The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."

    She says "I'll take the red one."

    The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."

    ------------------------------
    An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit.

    "How many children?" asks the council worker.

    "10" replies the Essex girl.

    "10???" says the council worker.."What are their names?"

    "Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and
    Wayne".

    "Doesn't that get confusing?"

    "Naah..." says the Essex girl. "It's great because if they are out
    playing in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S
    READY or
    WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..."

    "What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed
    council worker.

    "That's easy," says the girl... "I just use their surnames"

    --------------------------------
    Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; there's blood
    everywhere. The paramedics arrive
    and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying flat out on the floor.

    Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
    Sharon: "Ok."
    Medic: "Ok how many fingers have I got up?"
    Sharon: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"

    I got my parasiteware t-shirt
    <font color=red size="1">All parasites are scumbags and should be treated as such....</font><font color=blue size="1">STAMP EM OUT!!!</font>
    Take care
    YouTrek.com

  2. #2
    Domain Addict / Formerly known as elbowcreek Thomas A. Rice's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    5,468
    Gordon, that's just repugnant and disgusting, jeeeeze, how low can you go.

    Got any more?

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  3. #3
    Newbie
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    January 18th, 2005
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    3,219
    Ditto elbowcreek!

    ha ha ha ha Discusting

  4. #4
    Affiliate Manager
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Oh, my virgin ears!!!



    Carolyn Tang
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  5. #5
    Full Member garystarling's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    277
    I used to live in Essex before moving south of the river so I have heard them all!

    Here are a couple

    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> An Essex girl goes into the chemists and to the deodorant display
    and says to the assistant "I need to buy some deodorant for my husband."
    "Does he use the ball kind?" enquires the assistant.
    "No," replies the Essex girl, "The kind for under his arms." <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> An Essex girl was walking down the street with a pig under her arm.
    A passer-by asks "Where did you get that?"
    The pig replies, "I won her in a raffle!" <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    'I am not young enough to know everything.'
    - Oscar Wilde

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