A Christmas cookie recipe worth your time...
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequilla

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo
again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup ...
just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2
leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the
frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck
in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo
to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check
the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one
table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash
the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget
to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window,
finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.


P.S. I would substitute the Cuervo with real tequilla. Take a vacation south of the border this year and get the 10 year old stuff that's labeled "100% agave".


It may be that my sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.