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  1. #1
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious winners for

    When his .38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can
    only inspire wonder. He peered down thebarrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

    The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The
    company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger.The chef's claim was approved.

    A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space.
    Understandably, he shot her.

    After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo
    had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the
    passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

    . An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the
    lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

    A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and
    asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The
    total amount of cash he got from the drawer? $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives YOU money, is a crime committed?)

    It seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
    run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him
    unconscious. The liquorstore window was made of polycarbonate. The whole event was caught on videotape.

    As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give
    them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was
    then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

    The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The
    clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't
    available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

    When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to
    find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his
    siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had!

    <font size="1" face="Arial">| SSAN &amp; AIM: SSanAssistance | MSN &amp; Yahoo: SSan_Assistance |</font></p>

  2. #2
    Affiliate Miester my2cents's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    far far away....

    And, that's the bottom line because it's my2cents!

  3. #3
    Full Member
    Join Date
    January 17th, 2005
    Where do you get this stuff!
    Sounds like some people I know .......

    Thanks for the laugh!

    Howie Goldberg
    Affiliate Manager

  4. #4
    ABW Ambassador
    Join Date
    January 17th, 2005
    Have they changed the requirements for the Darwin Awards?

    It used to be that you either had to remove yourself from the gene pool, or render yourself uncapable of adding to the gene pool for it to be considered a 'Darwin Award'.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Pete:
    Have they changed the requirements for the Darwin Awards?

    It used to be that you either had to remove yourself from the gene pool, or render yourself uncapable of adding to the gene pool for it to be considered a 'Darwin Award'.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


    The winner did remove himself from the gene pool.

    "He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again"

    So glad I am not related or associated with any of these fools. Is it worse to be a surviving MOM to that idiot? Or that idiot?

    <font size="1" face="Arial">| SSAN &amp; AIM: SSanAssistance | MSN &amp; Yahoo: SSan_Assistance |</font></p>

  6. #6
    ABW Ambassador Andy's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    What a bunch of idiots! I feel sorry for the people who lost their lives, but if they weren't up to no good in the first place, they would've been OK.

    A guy I know was teaching his daughter to drive in his company car, which was a Lexus. As she pulled up to the video store to return some videos, she proceeded to slam down the gas pedal and drive over the curb, through the glass window, and knock over several rows of video shelves.

    No one was hurt, and the Lexus had $15,000 worth of damage to it, the store had $20,000.

    When asked why she didn't stop, she said she was pushing on the pedal as hard as she could, but the car just wouldn't stop! She was pushing on the GAS pedal, of course.

    Apparently she's too dumb to realize that pushing harder on the gas pedal won't make the car stop!

    The guy said he wouldn't have believed it if he hadn't been sitting in the passenger seat next to her.


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