Results 1 to 7 of 7
  1. #1
    Full Member
    Join Date
    January 17th, 2005
    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him,"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at WalMart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than a doctor." So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to WalMart. He deposits ten dollars, a the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks." That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurries back to WalMart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following: 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

    Thank you for shopping at WalMart.

  2. #2
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Edmonton Canada
    Thats a good one

    <font color=red size="1">All parasites are scumbags and should be treated as such....</font><font color=blue size="1">STAMP EM OUT!!!</font>

  3. #3
    ABW Ambassador swampy_webber's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 17th, 2005
    West Virginia
    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

    Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game.
    Donald Trump (1946 - ), "Trump: Art of the Deal"

  4. #4
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    St Clair Shores MI.
    Hilarious ...keep em' coming.

    Mike & Charlie ...

    "Payment is one option that isn't negotiable. Merchants require it for purchases ...SO DO WE."

  5. #5
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Please, post the address of that WalMart, I need to check something today.


    "Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new" - Albert Einstein

  6. #6
    Millionaire on training wheels Justdoit's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Too Funny

    It is never too late to be what you might have been.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    January 17th, 2005

    To SURVIVE,you have to expect the unexpected!!

  8. Newsletter Signup

+ Reply to Thread

Similar Threads

  1. Walmart?
    By isellstuff in forum Rakuten LinkShare - LS
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: November 29th, 2008, 09:52 AM
  2. Walmart is Down
    By Tami in forum Rakuten LinkShare - LS
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: November 24th, 2006, 06:03 PM
  3. How about Walmart
    By Uphill in forum Rakuten LinkShare - LS
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: October 10th, 2003, 03:46 PM
  4. I wonder if Walmart knows about this??!!
    By flamingoworld in forum Suspicious Activity!
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: October 11th, 2002, 01:49 PM
  5. Is Walmart Trying?
    By jc101 in forum Rakuten LinkShare - LS
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: August 5th, 2002, 09:05 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts