Results 1 to 10 of 10
  1. #1
    Newbie
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Posts
    3,219
    The Dysfunctional Section of a Hallmark Store...


    1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life...
    (Inside card) - I've changed my mind.


    2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
    (Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.


    3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
    (Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me.


    4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go...
    (Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.


    5. Someday I hope to marry...
    (Inside card) - Someone other than you.


    6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
    (Inside card) - Almost life like!


    7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
    (Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.


    8. We've been friends for a very long time...
    (Inside card) - What do you say we stop?


    9. I'm so miserable without you...
    (Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.


    10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
    (Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?


    11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...
    (Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.


    12. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
    (Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.


    13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
    (Available only in Alabama, Mississippi, and Arkansas)


    14. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but wonder..
    (Inside card) - What was I thinking?


    15. Congratulations on your wedding day!...
    (Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband

  2. #2
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    St Clair Shores MI.
    Posts
    17,328
    New gendre' of cards labeled "Husband in Law" greetings will honor your Hallmark shelves soon. These will be sniplets excusing wives from having to invite their gigalos to family holiday events.
    Webmaster's... Mike and Charlie

    "What have you done today to put real value into a referral click...from a shoppers viewpoint!"

  3. #3
    ABW Ambassador Nova's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    home
    Posts
    2,395


    This is why I miss ABW!

    thanks for the laugh SandraR!

    What COC stand for? Crooks Overwriting Commission
    Don't worry tracking is Infected

    Live life to the fullest, You only get 1 chance. Enjoy it while you can... Nothing last forever!

  4. #4
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    St Clair Shores MI.
    Posts
    17,328
    Miss ...darn that anniversary celebration lasted a long time. Someone send poor Poon some oxygen bottles and vitamins.
    Webmaster's... Mike and Charlie

    "What have you done today to put real value into a referral click...from a shoppers viewpoint!"

  5. #5
    ABW Ambassador Andy's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Posts
    4,178
    Another touching Hallmark moment:

    COVER: I need you...

    INSIDE: ...like a fish needs a bicycle!



    Very funny, SandraR, you sure do know where to find 'em!

    Andy

  6. #6
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    St Clair Shores MI.
    Posts
    17,328
    "Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton."

    - Late Show host David Letterman


    "According to a new study, Botox injections can help back pain. So you see, that's why John Kerry had all that Botox - his back was killing him from all that flip-flopping on issues."


    - Tonight Show host Jay Leno

    Here come the ABW political police...
    Webmaster's... Mike and Charlie

    "What have you done today to put real value into a referral click...from a shoppers viewpoint!"

  7. #7
    ABW Ambassador
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    Nunya, Business
    Posts
    23,684
    "President Bush went out touting his economic record in Ohio last week. Now this is a state that lost 225,000 jobs since Bush took office. You know, if Bush wants to tout his record, he should do it somewhere where the Bush economy has actually created jobs, like India, or Thailand, or China." —Jay Leno"

    "Oscar nominations came out today. Up for best actor, Sean Penn for 'Mystic River,' Jude Law for 'Cold Mountain,' and of course, George W. Bush for 'Iraqi Weapons of Mass Destruction.'" —Jay Leno

    "President Bush has unveiled his first campaign commercial, highlighting all of his accomplishes in office. That's why it's a 60-second spot." —Jay Leno

    "President Bush said that American workers will need new skills to get the new jobs in the 21st century. Some of the skills they're going to need are Spanish, Chinese, Korean, because that's where the jobs went. Who better than Bush as an example of what can happen when you take a job without any training." —Jay Leno

    "President Bush wants to build a space station on the moon. And from the moon, he wants to launch people to Mars. You know what this means. He's been drinking again." —David Letterman"

    "President Bush released his new $2.4 trillion federal budget. It has two parts: smoke and mirrors." —Jay Leno

    "President Bush is not fazed by other candidates' war records. He said, I may have not fought in Vietnam, but I created one." —Craig Kilborn

    Don't worry Mike, when Kerry get elected President there will be plenty of Kerry jokes and Bush will be forgotten.

  8. #8
    Member
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Posts
    52
    my friend runs
    www.obscenecards.co.uk

    Its a bit rude to say the least.

  9. #9
    Domain Addict / Formerly known as elbowcreek Thomas A. Rice's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Posts
    5,468
    SandraR- Those were GREAT, very clever!
    Following everyone else is a GREAT way to become average.

  10. #10
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    St Clair Shores MI.
    Posts
    17,328
    Your best joke in the group SandraR ....

    "Don't worry Mike, when Kerry get elected President there will be plenty of Kerry jokes and Bush will be forgotten."
    Webmaster's... Mike and Charlie

    "What have you done today to put real value into a referral click...from a shoppers viewpoint!"

  11. Newsletter Signup

+ Reply to Thread

Similar Threads

  1. Dysfunctional eBay Reverses the Dimes Now!
    By huhu in forum Commission Junction - CJ
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: July 19th, 2004, 05:07 AM
  2. CJ Is Just a Dysfunctional Agency as Far as We Are Concerned!
    By huhu in forum Commission Junction - CJ
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: October 29th, 2003, 08:22 PM
  3. CJU-101: Dysfunctional Scripts
    By huhu in forum Commission Junction - CJ
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: July 25th, 2003, 02:46 PM
  4. Hallmark technical error! Linkshare or hallmark please read!
    By jc101 in forum Rakuten LinkShare - LS
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: June 2nd, 2003, 06:46 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •