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  1. #1
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    For those of you who remember that old ABBOTT and Costello "Who's on First" comedy skit.

    Now Lou Costello is buying a computer.....

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

    COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: No, the name is Lou.

    ABBOTT: Your computer?

    COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: I told you, my name is Lou!

    ABBOTT: What about Windows?

    COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

    ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with windows?

    COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I
    look in the windows?

    ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

    COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

    ABBOTT: Software for windows?

    COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

    ABBOTT: I just did.

    COSTELLO: You just did what?

    ABBOTT: Recommend something.

    COSTELLO: You recommended something?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: For my office?

    ABBOTT: Yes

    COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO:.Yes, for my office!

    ABBOTT: I recommend office with windows.

    COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, lets just say, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

    ABBOTT: word.

    COSTELLO: what word?

    ABBOTT: word in office.

    COSTELLO: the only word in office is office.

    ABBOTT: the word in office for windows.

    COSTELLO: which word in office for windows?

    ABBOTT: the word you get when you click the blue W

    COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue w if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

    ABBOTT: yes, you want real one.

    COSTELLO: maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. what I watch is none of your business. just tell me what I need!

    ABBOTT: real one.

    COSTELLO: if its a long movie I also want to see reel 2,3&4.can I watch them?

    ABBOTT: of course.

    COSTELLO: great, with what?

    ABBOTT: real one.

    COSTELLO; OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?

    ABBOTT: you click the blue 1

    COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

    ABBOTT: the blue 1.

    COSTELLO: is that different from the blue w?

    ABBOTT: the blue 1 is Realone and the blue w is word.

    COSTELLO: what word?

    ABBOTT: the word in office for windows.

    COSTELLO: but there's three words in office for windows!

    ABBOTT: no, just one. but its the most popular word in the world.

    COSTELLO: it is?

    ABBOTT: yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other words out there.

    COSTELLO: and that word is real one?

    ABBOTT: real one has nothing to do with word. real one isn't even part of office.

    COSTELLO: stop! Don't start that again. what about financial book keeping you have anything I can track my money with?

    ABBOTT: money.

    COSTELLO: that's right. What do you have?

    ABBOTT: money.

    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

    ABBOTT: it comes bundled with your computer.

    COSTELLO: what's bundled to my computer?

    ABBOTT: money

    COSTELLO: money comes with my computer?

    ABBOTT: yes. no extra charge.

    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

    ABBOTT: one copy

    COSTELLO: isn't it illegal to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.

    COSTELLO: they can give you a license to copy money?

    ABBOTT: why not, they own it.

  2. #2
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
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    ROLMAO ...imagine outsourcing to a India call center the above conversation. Reminds me of the days when I had these type calls when sending out systems with DOS/Win 3.1 software installed. I had to tell the customers to NOT THINK while following the simple instructions....literally...their stupid minds couldn't find the shift-ctrl or alt keys on the keyboard if given one week of searching. It's amazing 50% of those making these type calls can figure out how to put gas into a car.
    Webmaster's... Mike and Charlie

    "What have you done today to put real value into a referral click...from a shoppers viewpoint!"

  3. #3
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    Excellent one Kip!

    Mike, I have to agree. I have found (in my repair business) that a lot of people are next to clueless about their computers. This is the 21st century! People that don't take the time to get educated will be hating life down the road (I imagine some are now).

    I got my Mom & Dad (in their 70's) going with computers about 10 years ago and they are doing great. Hell, my Dad built his own system last year. It goes to show you are never too old to learn!!!

    Brad

  4. #4
    Resident Genius and Staunch Capitalist Leader's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> 50% of those making these type calls can figure out how to put gas into a car. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Remember that statistically, 50% of a population is of below average intelligence!
    There is no knowledge that is not power. ~Hemingway

  5. #5
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    Reminds me of Kmart. I can't count the number of times a customer stopped me to ask where an item was that they were standing right in front of? And I won't tell you how many times I sent them to the otherside of the store for that item. If I was really bored I would strieghten up the item and tell them we were out of stock.

    You sure it's 50% Leader?
    Lead, Follow or Get Out of the Way!

  6. #6
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Leader:
    Remember that statistically, 50% of a population is of below average intelligence! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Never heard that number. That's a lot!

    Buddha, you are a bad man...

    Brad

  7. #7
    Resident Genius and Staunch Capitalist Leader's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> Never heard that number. That's a lot!~Brad
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    With an average, there will be usually be 50% somewhere above it and 50% somewhere below it (but not right, smack, exactly on it)...

    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> You sure it's 50% Leader? ~Buddha
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    ONLY because of what I learned in the "statistics" part of math class. Otherwise I'd think it was 80 or 90% apes!

    Maybe that's the problem. Maybe we're really in the beginning of a new period of evolution and those ape-people are the ones who aren't evolving!
    There is no knowledge that is not power. ~Hemingway

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