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April 21st, 2004, 02:30 PM #1
Subject: The Science of Logic
Two builders (Phil and Eric) are seated either side of a table in a rough
pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at
the bar.The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the
Phil: - I reckon he's an accountant.
Eric: - No way - he's a stockbroker.
Phil: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!
The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the
better of Phil and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees
that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get
the better of the builder.
Phil: - Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering
what you do for a living?
Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession.
Phil: - Oh ! What's that then?
Suit: - I'll try to explain by example.... Do you have a goldfish at home?
Phil: - Er .. mmm . well yeah, I do as it happens!
Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a
pond. Which is it?
Phil: - It's in a pond!
Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden
Phil: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!
Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a
large garden then you have a large house?
Phil: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house...built it myself!
Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical to
assume that you haven't built it just for
yourself and that you are quite probably married?
Phil: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children.
Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with
your wife on a regular basis?
Phil:- Yep! Four nights a week!
Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very
Phil: - Me? Never
Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
Phil: - How's that then?
Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about
your sex life!
Phil: - I see! That's pretty impressive...thanks mate!
Both leave the toilet and Phil returns to his mate.
Eric: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
Phil: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!
Eric: - What's that then?
Phil: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
Eric: - Nope
Phil: - Well then, you're a wanker.One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer
April 22nd, 2004, 08:52 AM #2
- Join Date
- January 17th, 2005
oh, there's nothing like being stuck in a cubicle laughing at something you can't share with a colleague...
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