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  1. #1
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    Question: How do you tell the difference between democrats, republicans and southern republicans?

    Pose the following question:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

    You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
    What do you do?
    ------------------------------------------------

    Democrat's Answer:

    <UL TYPE=SQUARE>Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    <LI>Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    <LI>Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    <LI>Could we run away?
    <LI>What does my wife think?
    <LI>What about the kids?
    <LI>Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
    <LI>What does the law say about this situation?
    <LI>Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
    <LI>Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
    <LI>Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
    <LI>Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
    <LI>If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
    <LI>Should I call 9-1-1?
    <LI>Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
    <LI>This is so confusing![/list]
    I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

    ------------------------------------------------

    Republican's Answer:

    BANG!

    ------------------------------------------------

    Southern Republican's Answer:
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click...(sounds of reloading)

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

    Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

  2. #2
    Troll Killer and best Snooper!
    I decide when the pigs fly!
    Rhea's Avatar
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    Sandra, what joke list are you on? I gotta join it.

  3. #3
    Affiliate Miester my2cents's Avatar
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    that's my2cents, 'cuz I'm a legend in my own mind....

  4. #4
    ABW Ambassador buy_online's Avatar
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    That's an old one - but a good one !

    Fred

  5. #5
    Resident Genius and Staunch Capitalist Leader's Avatar
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    I love it!
    There is no knowledge that is not power. ~Hemingway

  6. #6
    Devil's Reject Electropulse's Avatar
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    true but most democrat's would be too busy hanging out on a tree, smoking a bong and writing articles for whatreallyhappened.com on a(government subsidised) laptop, which usually has the al qaeda er, I mean michaelmoore.com as a start pages...

  7. #7
    Full Member kapsat's Avatar
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    i normally don't wast time reading jokes but, i could not resist and damn glad i read it
    dave

  8. #8
    Full Member
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    Not only funny but oh so true!

    CharPaula
    Staying focused on the bottomline

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