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  1. #1
    ABW Ambassador Nova's Avatar
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    I think it's time for some giggle!
    Warning don't drink while you read this (it's very dangerous to do!)

    ---------------------------

    A TEST FOR FILIPINO-NESS: Are You Really Filipino?


    For those of you who have seen this item floating around the Internet, you can decide for yourself if you want to take it again or not. But for those first-timers, this little pseudo-test may be considered as a cultural tool for measuring your Filipino-ness (or Pilipino-ness, if you prefer).

    ------------------------------------------------
    Philippines Mannerism and Personality Traits

    ----------------

    Are you confused about your ethnic identity? Want to know just how Filipino you are? Take this less-than-scientific quiz to rate your "Filipino-ness."


    3 points if you can relate to the following characteristics to yourself

    2 points if it relates to an immediate family member, i.e. mom or dad or sister/brother

    1 point if you know of someone who has the characteristic


    MANNERISM & PERSONALITY TRAITS:


    1. You point with your lips.

    2. You eat using hands--and have it down to a technique.

    3. Your other piece of luggage is a Balikbayan box.

    4. You always have at least three other people taking you to the airport.

    5. You're standing next to eight big boxes at the airport.

    6. You nod upwards to greet someone.

    7. You put your foot up on your chair and rest your elbow on your knee while eating.

    8. You can cut your toenails with a pair of scissors.

    9. You use a rock to scrub yourself in the shower.

    10 .You have to kiss your relative on the cheek as soon as you enter the room.

    11. You have to make mano or put the back of the hand of the elder people to your forehead as a sign of respect.

    12. You collect items from hotels or restaurants "for souvenir."

    13. You smile for no reason.

    14. You flirt by having a foolish grin in your face while raising your eyebrows repeatedly.

    15. You go to a department store and try to bargain the prices.

    16. Your favorite stores include K-Mart, Target, or any clothing outlet store (especially those outlets on the way to Las Vegas).

    17. You use an umbrella for shade on a hot summer days.

    18. You scratch your head when you don't know the answer.

    19. You never eat the last morsel of food on the table.

    20. You like bowling.

    21. You know how to play pusoy and mah-jong.

    22. You find dried up morsels of rice stuck on your shirt.

    23. You turn your plate around when someone leaves the table so that person does not get into an accident.

    24. You prefer to sit in the shade instead of basking in the sun.

    25. You add an unwarranted "H" to your name, i.e. "Jhun," "Bhoy," "Rhon."

    26. You have a nickname or know grown people with nicknames such as "Poochie," "Butch," "Peachie" "Chuchi" or any other seemingly incongruous name.

    27. You put your hands together in front of you as if to make a path and say "Excuse, excuse" when you pass between people or in front of the TV.

    28. Your middle name is your mother's maiden name.

    29. You like everything imported or "state-side."

    30. You check the labels on clothes to see what label it is and/or where it was made before buying it.

    31. You hang your clothes out to dry.

    32. You are perfectly comfortable in a squatting position with your elbows resting on your knees.

    33. You consistently arrive 30 minutes late for all events.

    34. You always offer food to all your visitors.

    35. You always insist that your visitors get second helpings or more of food even if they're already stuffed (they eventually end up blaming you for their weight gain).


    VOCABULARY:


    36. You pronounce F's like P's and P's like F's.

    37. You say "comfort room" instead of "bathroom."

    38. You say "for take out" instead of "to go."

    39. You "open" or "close" the light.

    40. You ask for "Colgate" instead of "toothpaste."

    41. You ask for a "Pentel-pen" or a "ball-pen" instead of just "pen."

    42. You refer to the refrigerator as the "ref" or "pridyider."

    43. You pronounce the word ALREADY as OLREYDI.

    44. You say "Kodakan" instead of take a picture.

    45. You order a McDonald's instead of "hamburger" (pronounced ham-boor-jer)

    46. You say "Ha?" instead of "What."

    47. You say "Hoy" to get someone's attention.

    48. You answer when someone yells "Hoy."

    49. You turn around when someone says "Psst!"

    50. You say "Cutex" instead of "nail polish."

    51. You say "cottonbuds" instead of "cotton swabs."

    51. You say "he" when you mean "she" and vice versa.

    52. You say "aray" instead of "ouch."

    53. Your sneeze sounds like "ahh-ching" instead of "ahh-choo."

    54. You prefer to make acronyms for phrases such as "OA" for overacting, or "TNT" for, well, you know.

    55. You say "air con" instead of "a/c" or air conditioner.

    56. You say "brown-out" instead of "black-out."

    HOME FURNISHINGS:


    57. You use a "walis ting-ting" or "walis tambo" as opposed to a conventional broom.

    58. You have a "Weapons of Moroland" shield hanging in the living room wall.

    59. You have a portrait of "The Last Supper" hanging in your dining room.

    60. You own a Karaoke System.

    61. You own a piano that no one ever plays.

    62. You have a tabo in the bathroom.

    63. Your house has too many burloloys.

    64. You have two to three pairs of tsinelas at your doorstep.

    65. Your house has an ornate wrought iron gate in front of it.

    66. You have a rose garden.

    67. You have a shrine of the Santo Ninyo in your living room.

    68. You own a "barrel man" or a "barrel woman" (you pull up the barrel and you see the wooden figure with his/her huge assets).

    69. You cover your living room furniture with bedsheets.

    70. Your lamp shades still have the plastic covers on them.

    71. You have plastic runners to cover the carpets in your house.

    72. You refer to your VCR as a "beytamax."

    73. You have a rice dispenser.

    74. You own a turbo broiler.

    75. You own one of those fiber optic flower lamps.

    76. You own a lamp with the oil that drips down the strings.

    77. You have a giant wooden fork and spoon hanging somewhere in the dining room.

    78. You have wooden tinikling dancers on the wall.

    79. You own capiz shell chandeliers, lamps, or placemats.


    AUTOMOBILES:


    80. You own a Mercedes Benz and you call it "chedeng."

    81. You own a huge van conversion.

    82. Your car chirps like a bird or plays a tune when it is in reverse.

    83. Your car horn can make 2 or 3 different sounds.

    84. Your car has curb feelers or curb detectors.

    85. Your car has too many "burloloys" like jeepneys back in P.I.

    86. You hang a Rosary on your car's rear view mirror.

    87. You have an air freshener in your car.

    88. You like to have tinted windows in all your cars.

    FAMILY:


    89. You have aunts and uncles named "Baby," "Girlie," or "Boy."

    90. You were raised to believe that every Filipino is an aunt, uncle or cousin.

    91. Your Dad was in the Navy.

    92. You have a family member or relative that works in the Post Office.

    93. Your mom or sister or wife is a nurse.

    94. Your parents call each other "mommy" and "daddy," or "ma" and "pa."

    95. You have family member that has a nickname that repeats itself, i.e."Bong-Bong," "But-But," "Deng-Deng," "Ling Ling," or "Bing Bing," etc.


    FOOD:


    96. You put hot dogs or vienna sausages in your spaghetti.

    97. You consider dilis the Filipino equivalent to french fries.

    98. You think that eating chocolate rice pudding and dried fish is a great morning meal.

    99. You eat kanin and ulam using your hand.

    100. You order things like tapsilog, tocilog, or longsilog at restaurants.

    101. You distinctively grab a toothpick after a meal.

    102. You order a "soft drink" instead of a "soda."

    103. You dip bread in your morning coffee.

    104. You refer to seasonings and all other forms of monosodium glutamate as "Ajinomoto"

    105. Your Cupboards are full of Spam, Vienna Sausage, Ligo, and Corned Beef, which you refer to as Karne Norte or "salmon baka."

    106. "Goldilocks" means more to you than just a character in a fairytale. It can also mean eating foods you love but at prices you consider to be a rip-off.

    107. You appreciate a fresh pot of rice.

    108. You bring your "baon" most of the time to work.

    109. Your "baon" is usually something over rice.

    110. Your co-workers complain about your baon when you microwave or "nuke" it.

    110. Your neighbors complain about the smell of tuyo on Sunday mornings.

    112. You eat rice for breakfast.

    113. You use your fingers to measure the water when cooking rice.

    114. You wash and re-use disposable plastic utensils and Styrofoam cups.

    115. You have a supply of frozen lumpia in the refrigerator.

    116. You have an ice shaver for making halo-halo.

    117. You eat purple yam flavored ice cream.

    118. You gotta have a bottle of Jufran or Mafran handy.

    119. You fry spam or hot dogs and eat them with rice.

    120. You think that half-hatched duck eggs or balut can "strengthen the knees" (pangpalakas ng tuhod) as the embryonic eggs are aphrodisiacs and you consider balut to be a delicacy.

    121. You know that "chocolate meat" is not really made with chocolate.



    Bonus question:


    You understand this joke (make sure you read the punchline with a Filipino accent!):


    How many bears were in a car with Goldilocks?


    Four -- the momma bear, the poppa bear, the baby bear and the dri-bear (driver).


    Tally your scores and see what category you belong.


    259-327 points:


    Welcome to America! Judging from your high score, you are an obvious transplant from the Philippines. There's no doubt what your ethnic identity is!

    You're a Filipino, through and through.


    173-258 points:


    Congratulations, you've retained most of the Filipino traits and tendencies your family have instilled in you.


    172-51:


    You have OFT (Obvious Filipino Tendencies.) Go with the flow to reach full Filipino potential. Prepare for assimilation; resistance is futile!


    50 and under:


    You're white, aren't you?

    What COC stand for? Crooks Overwriting Commission
    Don't worry tracking is Infected

    Live life to the fullest, You only get 1 chance. Enjoy it while you can... Nothing last forever!

  2. #2
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    Blimey Nova it's a good job I did not get to meeet you in Vegas .............
    I would never have been able to understand what you were talking about
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

  3. #3
    Newbie
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    Have to show this one to a few friends!




  4. #4
    Troll Killer and best Snooper!
    I decide when the pigs fly!
    Rhea's Avatar
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    I tallied my score and it's official, I'm not Filipino.

  5. #5
    ABW Ambassador
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Blimey Nova it's a good job I did not get to meeet you in Vegas <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    I did though.... AND we got pictures

    Actually the pictures I got back showed how bad the wifes new camera actually is
    I do have a good one of ANDY R holding a baby???
    and a couple other pics. Many I wasn't happy with the quality

  6. #6
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    1. You point with your lips.
    only when my hands are busy.

    2. You eat using hands--and have it down to a technique.
    some foods like BBQ ribs.

    6. You nod upwards to greet someone.
    sometimes.

    20. You like bowling.
    yes.

    49. You turn around when someone says "Psst!"
    sometimes.

    75. You own one of those fiber optic flower lamps.
    back on the 70's, not now.

    76. You own a lamp with the oil that drips down the strings.
    yes but it's no longer working.

    87. You have an air freshener in your car.
    why not.

    88. You like to have tinted windows in all your cars.
    yes it gets to hot inside in the summer.

    96. You put hot dogs or vienna sausages in your spaghetti.
    once in a while.

    101. You distinctively grab a toothpick after a meal.
    yes.

    103. You dip bread in your morning coffee.
    when I was younger.

    107. You appreciate a fresh pot of rice.
    yes.

    112. You eat rice for breakfast.
    depending on what I did before breakfast time.

    119. You fry spam or hot dogs and eat them with rice.
    yes but I prefer with bread.

    ---------

    I don't know if I pass the test but now I'm hungry.

    Sal.

  7. #7
    ABW Ambassador Nova's Avatar
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    Here's more for yah!

    ====================

    There was this Filipino kindergarten teacher and she was teaching her class how to do the hokey-pokey. She started off by saying,

    "You put your right feet in, you put your right feet out, you put your right feet in...."

    Suddenly one of the children said,
    "Teacher you have to say 'foot.
    '" So the teacher said, "You 'foot' your right feet in, you 'foot' your right feet out....."

    ------------------------------------------------

    A Filipino guy gets stopped by immigration at the airport. Immigration tells him, "Use the words 'chicken not bread' in a sentence." The Filipino looks around, puts a bag over a woman's head and yells, "Chee kennot bred! Chee kennot bred!" (accent on "she cannot breathe")
    ============================

    What COC stand for? Crooks Overwriting Commission
    Don't worry tracking is Infected

    Live life to the fullest, You only get 1 chance. Enjoy it while you can... Nothing last forever!

  8. #8
    ABW Ambassador
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    The first couple of questions had me going "huh", but then I got to #6.

    Put it this way, living in San Diego during my younger days has caused me to pick up many a habit.

    I knew I was 1/16th Native, but, uh, I never suspected Filipino.
    Dr. Strangeweb, or how I learned how to stop worrying about SERPS and love the WOM.

  9. #9
    ABW Ambassador Paul_Ward's Avatar
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    I don't think I've ever met a Filipino, but you almost feel like one of the family now

  10. #10
    ABW Ambassador Nova's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Paul Ward:
    I don't think I've ever met a Filipino, but you almost feel like one of the family now <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    We are family! ABW family!

    What COC stand for? Crooks Overwriting Commission
    Don't worry tracking is Infected

    Live life to the fullest, You only get 1 chance. Enjoy it while you can... Nothing last forever!

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