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  1. #1
    CPA Network Rep JP Sauve's Avatar
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    "Forgive me father-- for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."

    The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"

    "Yes, Father, it is.

    And, who was the woman you were with?"

    "Ohh father I can't be tellin' you, I don't want to ruin her reputation."

    "Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me
    now. as it Brenda O'Malley?"

    "I cannot say."

    "Was it Patricia Kelly?"

    "I cannot say."

    "Was it Liz Shannon?"

    "I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

    "Was it Cathy Morgan?"

    "My lips are sealed."

    "Was it Fiona McDonald, then?"

    "Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

    The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad,Tommy Shaughnessy, and I
    admire that. But you've sinned, and you must atone. You cannot attend church
    mass for three full months. Be off with you now!"

    Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over to his seat and
    whispers "well... what'd you get?"

    "Three months vacation and five good leads."
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  2. #2
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    DAMN....

  3. #3
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    nice one
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

  4. #4
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    Look JP,

    I didn't find where is the punch line to that joke.

    You're not that funny,.Ok?

    If there is any consolation for that joke, all I can say is this:

    Now I don't know who I am going to see tonight first since you know all the names, now I will have to select from that list:

    Brenda O'Malley
    Patricia Kelly
    Liz Shannon
    Cathy Morgan
    Fiona McDonald

    and pray that their husband's don't find out.

  5. #5
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mr. Sal:
    Look JP,

    I didn't find where is the punch line to that joke.

    You're not that funny,.Ok?

    If there is any consolation for that joke, all I can say is this:

    Now I don't know who I am going to see tonight first since you know all the names, now I will have to select from that list:

    Brenda O'Malley
    Patricia Kelly
    Liz Shannon
    Cathy Morgan
    Fiona McDonald

    _and pray_ that their husband's don't find out. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Try that trash in Ireland, where I come from,you would't stay healthy long,
    with that garbage, ethnic jokes are about as low as anyone can go. A-hole
    JJ

  6. #6
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    Hey jersey jim5,

    Where that I went wrong, please can you explain what the hell do you see wrong with my post.

    Now I am really confuse about you.

    What with that crap about the ethnic jokes

    Are you OK, or I am missing something here?



    Sal.

  7. #7
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    He probably couldn't see beyond O'Malley Kelly and Shannon, or maybe he just doesn't realise Morgan is Welsh and McDononald is Scotch.

    Its not rascist in my book
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

  8. #8
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mr. Sal:
    Hey jersey jim5,

    Where that I went wrong, please can you explain what the hell do you see wrong with my post.

    Now I am really confuse about you.

    What with that crap about the _ethnic jokes_

    Are you OK, or I am missing something here?



    Sal. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> f you read the names, they ain't chinese,we have had so many poor irish jokes for years,2 irish blessings to you
    1.May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your arm pits.
    2.May all your children look like the queen.
    Everyday, where I worked, someone had a NEW Irish joke, by the end of the day it was Polish, Latino,African American, Italian, but never German or English, or French, we made up for that ,too.That's where you went wrong.End of issue.
    JJ

  9. #9
    ABW Ambassador
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    JAMES T. MONROE is my favorite poster I thought the joke was funny. This too:
    "1.May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your arm pits.
    2.May all your children look like the queen."

    lol

  10. #10
    ABW Founder Haiko de Poel, Jr.'s Avatar
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    I've always thought JJ was Mike & Charlie's demon step child

    (J/K)
    Continued Success,

    Haiko
    The secret of success is constancy of purpose ~ Disraeli

  11. #11
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    DAMN that was an Irish joke?????

    I thought it was a catholic joke!

  12. #12
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> May all your children look like the queen. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> WOW!! I really like that, that is one of the best put downs I've ever heard. It cannot be a rascist joke though it is poking fun at the Irish, Welsh, Scotch and catholics.

    Oh BTW <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your arm pits <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> is not an Irish blessing, I doubt 99.999% of the Irish even know what a camel is never mind have seen one.

    Now that is an Irish joke.
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

  13. #13
    CPA Network Rep JP Sauve's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by TrustNo1®:
    May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your arm pits.
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    I take offence on behalf of camels, and poor defenseless armpits, who are both being victimized by this tasteless humor.
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  14. #14
    ABW Ambassador mousejockey's Avatar
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    True Confessions:
    When I was about 7 years old I went to confessional one day and said "Bless me father for I have sinned...and I've no sins" ....how much strife can a 7 year old country kid get into!

    The Priest went ballistic and said "Do you think you are a Saint!"
    He gave me 10 Hail Marys, 10 Our Fathers and I had to come to Mass on Wednesdays as well as Sunday and do the Stations of the Cross!

    Next time I went to confessional I got smart and said "Bless me Father for I have sined...I stole a rubber, I was rude to Mother Superior, I got in a fight, I put a cracker in the neighbours letterbox...I got 1 Our Father and 2 Hail Marys...go figure

  15. #15
    ABW Veteran Student Heyder's Avatar
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    As a fair skinned German, French, Blackfoot Indian, Scottish, ex-catholic, descendent from a famous Clan in old times and made famous again by athletes of darker skin whose descendants were brought to the United States as my families slaves I take no offense to that joke.

    Have I offended anyone? Sorry it's all the truth. Mom and Dad refer to us affectionately as their Mutts. lol I love America because most of us are now Mutts and damned proud of it.

  16. #16
    MasterMike HardwareGeek's Avatar
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    LOL thats funny.

  17. #17
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    HOW? Heyder
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

  18. #18
    ABW Ambassador Radegast's Avatar
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    My favorite Irish blessings (in no particular order)

    1) May you arrive in heaven at least five minutes before the devil finds out you're dead

    2) May the devil shite on you

  19. #19
    Troll Killer and best Snooper!
    I decide when the pigs fly!
    Rhea's Avatar
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    I used to crack my lapsed Catholic allergist up with this one. Whenever I'd skipped my allergy shots for a week or two I'd pop my head into his office and say,

    Bless me doctor,
    For I have sinned.
    It's been three weeks
    Since my last injection.

    He would usually give me absolution, but his nurse always gave me hell.

  20. #20
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rhea:
    I used to crack my lapsed Catholic allergist up with this one. Whenever I'd skipped my allergy shots for a week or two I'd pop my head into his office and say,

    Bless me doctor,
    For I have sinned.
    It's been three weeks
    Since my last injection.

    He would usually give me absolution, but his nurse always gave me hell. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now another reply,first scotch is a whiskey,second, there were a lot or Irish in ww2,both bush gulf wars, they know a camel,you don't have to be any special religion to know poor taste, as far as the difference between the Mc's and Mac's, they worked that out a long time before any of you were born.How about the really good one, about how you can tell the day of the week, because this ethnic person(s) are doing what comes natural to them, stealing hubcaps, putting flowers on graves,having hangovers,etc. now those are ethnic, the little green men aren't.Amen, if it was about any middle east country now, it wouldn't be politically proper.Take a trip to the glasneven cemenrty, see how many of the wee people's names are on the wall,they didn't like mr hitler either.The first to offer aid to the USA after 9/11, troops in Bosnia, nurses in somalia,thousands of refugees from bosnia, african mothers going there so their babies are citizens, and on and on, only Ian Paisley would laugh at this one, too many fathers have sinned, all over, but so have a lot of other "clergyman, and women."
    JJ

  21. #21
    Troll Killer and best Snooper!
    I decide when the pigs fly!
    Rhea's Avatar
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    Ummm, Jim I'm not sure what you're trying to say here, but my allergist is of Polish descent.

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