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  1. #1
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    This might be an old one sorry if it is.

    Recorded conversation from a Help Desk:

    "Rich Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
    "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
    "What sort of trouble?"
    "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away"
    "Went away?"
    "They disappeared."
    "Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
    "Nothing."
    "Nothing?"
    "It's a blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
    "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
    "How do I tell?"
    "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
    "What's a sea-prompt?"
    "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
    "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
    "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
    "What's a monitor?"
    "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
    "I don't know."
    "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes. Can you see it."
    "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
    "Yes, it is."
    "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
    "No."
    "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
    "Okay, here it is."
    "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
    "I can't reach."
    "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
    "No."
    Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
    "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because it's dark."
    "Dark?"
    "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
    "Well, turn on the office light then."
    "I can't."
    "No? Why not?"
    "Because there's a power failure."
    "A power.......a power failure?.... Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
    "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
    "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
    "Really? Is it that bad?"
    "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
    "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
    "Tell them you're too f****** stupid to own a computer"
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

  2. #2
    ABW Ambassador Radegast's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Gordo
    Sorry buddy but I've heard it about 5000 times LOL.
    If you work in tech support these stories follow you around and haunt you - there's no escape.
    They're like the 'urban legends' of the computer world.
    I just started work for a very famous company and as part of the induction my boss trotted out a couple of these stories - including the one about the customer who rang to complain that their coffee cup holder - aka CD ROM drive - wasn't working, and assured us that these were actual recorded messages from the company's help desk. My heart sank a few inches at that point.

  3. #3
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Sorry Radegast, it was a new one to me...I guess you can tell I'm not a computer boffin eh?

    I gotta admit though I never thought my CD-Rom drive was a coffee cup holder so I guess there's hope for me yet eh?
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

  4. #4
    ABW Ambassador Radegast's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    just don't ring me to say the foot pedal isn't working...

    (mouse)


  5. #5
    Full Member Travelin Man's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    409
    When I was working tech support I had one guy call me and said: No matter how many times I try to shut down my computer it will not shut down. He'd click on shut down and the computer would shut down and restart. I told him to make sure "shut down" was selected instead of "restart" when the shut down window popped up. He said: Oh that worked, thanks.
    Travelin' Man

    "If you don't know where you are going, any road will lead you there." -- unknown

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