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  1. #1
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Hi all. I've been lurking here at ABest web for a while. I love the jokes.
    In deference to all you old-timers, I thought I'd introduce myself and leave a joke.
    I love jokes. My wife and her friends groan when I announce I've got a new one, but listen eagerly when I tell it. (As long as I avoid women-bashing jokes)

    Here's one of my top ten. If you like it, I'll come back and contribute some more.
    ------------------------------------------------------
    A young Farmer and his wife were sitting at the supper table one evening when they looked out the window and saw a glowing spacecraft land in the front yard.

    Rushing out, the doors opened and out stepped a Male and Female alien. They were identical to Humans, but had a greenish cast to their features.

    The aliens reassured the anxious couple,"We come in peace. We're Ambassadors from a far-off galaxy, and seek to contact earthlings."
    The Farmer and his Wife, not to be outdone, invited them inside the house.

    After a few drinks and conversation, the Male alien turned to the couple, "On our Planet, we have a custom that we trade partners for the night, to better understand one another."

    The Farmer and his wife looked at each other, and agreed.

    As the alien Male and the Farmer's wife were in bed, the alien told the wife,"We have advanced DNA. If you are displeased with my sexual equipment, you can adjust it.
    "Simply twist my left ear to make it longer, and twist the right to make it thicker."

    The Farmer's wife twisted the alien's ears until she found the right combination to bring her pleasure. They spent the rest of the night happily bouncing around.

    The next morning, The aliens' bid the Farmer and his Wife goodbye, promising to return soon.

    After they left, the Husband turned to his wife and asked,"Well, how was it?"
    With a dreamy look on her face, she replied,"It was fantastic! I'll be glad if they teach us the secrets of DNA manupulation when they return."

    The Wife asked the Farmer, "How about you? How was it?"

    The Farmer said,"It was lousy. Those Aliens sure have some lousy bedroom manners."
    "Oh," said the Wife, "How's that?"
    "Well, the Farmer replied, "the damn ***** nearly twisted my ears off."
    "Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can't...You're right!" -Henry Ford-

  2. #2
    ABW Ambassador mousejockey's Avatar
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    Welcome Rick...

    You should have seen my hubby's face when I twisted his ears...I told him I was just checking his DNA

  3. #3
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    I like it, it was funny, bring more.

    But, now you just offended me and maybe two or four more peple on this boad.
    Who give you the right to come in here and call us old-timers?

    Do you think you're so young? do you? punk!

    I just hope you never get a wrinkle or a sinle grey hair, you don't deserve it.

    .
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    .
    .
    .
    .

  4. #4
    Super Sh!t Stirrer SSanf's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Old timer!!??

    The proper term is "crone", whipper snapper!
    Comments are opinion unless otherwise noted. Remember, pillage first. Then burn. Half of all people in the world have IQs under 100. You best learn to trust ol' SSanf!

  5. #5
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    nice one Rick, any more are certainly welcome, we need to break to monotony of page making now and again.
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

  6. #6
    Content $ Queen Ebudae's Avatar
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    welcome to the boards Rick!
    Ebudae


  7. #7
    Just Lurking
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    Good one!

    Note to Self: No more rubbing the kitty cat's ears!
    Lead, Follow or Get Out of the Way!

  8. #8
    Affiliate Miester my2cents's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>
    Note to Self: No more rubbing the kitty cat's ears! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>



    Rick...



    Joe
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    that's my2cents, 'cuz I'm a legend in my own mind....

  9. #9
    Full Member Travelin Man's Avatar
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    Excellent Rick! Keep them coming. I like "Old Fart" by the way...why? When have you known old people to not fart a lot?
    Travelin' Man

    "If you don't know where you are going, any road will lead you there." -- unknown

  10. #10
    Full Member
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    To all you old-timers, old-farts, ect.

    When I said "old-timers", I meant in the sense that you-all have been at ABestWeb for a while.

    That's "Texan" slang for an experienced, wise person. (snicker)

    P.S., I'm no spring chicken myself.
    In fact, I'm 39 and holding...

    See you old-timers around!

    Rick K.
    "Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can't...You're right!" -Henry Ford-

  11. #11
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    Welcome Rick,

    Wonderful joke hope to see you more often

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