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  1. #1
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
    One Saturday night the police was staking out a bar that is open till 3:00 a.m. on weekends, for possible drunk drivers leaving the bar.

    At about 2:45 a.m., they saw a guy stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on a few different cars before he found his own car.

    The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for few minutes, while all the other patrons left the bar and drove off.

    When he saw that he was the only car left on the parking lot, he started his engine and began to pull away.

    As soon as he pulled onto the street, the police stopped him, read him his rights and then proceeded to make the guy recite the ABCs backwards, walk the line, touch his nose with his eyes closed and then administered the breathalyzer test to determine his blood-alcohol content.

    By 3:30 a.m. After the guy has passed all the tests and the breathalyzer results showed a reading of 0.0. the police supervisor pull the guy to one side and ask the guy in a bewildered way:

    "How can you beat all the tests and avoid a DUI violation after we all saw you come out the bar stumbling and having difficulties finding your car?"

    The guy answered: Well officer, you see, well....... since I must tell you the truth, here it goes:

    On Saturdays I get paid to be the designated decoy. So on Sundays I have money to drink.

    The cop say to the guy, thanks for being so honest, you can go home now......
    by the way, buddy... see ya tomorrow.

  2. #2
    Full Member Travelin Man's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 17th, 2005
    Good one Sal...brought back some memories of when I was a young lad...
    Travelin' Man

    "If you don't know where you are going, any road will lead you there." -- unknown

  3. #3
    ABW Veteran Student Heyder's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    We used to go drinking and driving in a special truck my buddy customized. We'd get a driver to take us all around town. He wouldn't drink and had no access to the booze. The pickup truck was converted into a sort of gang bangers limo. We'd be partying in the back while getting transported around. I could tell you about a fast food joint where I got sick in the drive thru after chugging a whole bottle of tequilla. The people behind us in line must have thought it was disgusting or something as they pulled away no longer hungry. They started calling me Ralph after that.

  4. #4
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Edmonton Canada
    The more I read about you Heyder/Ralph the better I like you
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer


  5. #5
    Outsourced Program Manager Jorge - SHOPiMAR's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    > The cop

    Why you remind me of my "Playpen" days.....

  6. #6
    Join Date
    January 17th, 2005
    I got a DUI about a year ago, you don't wanna go through it... DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE.

  7. #7
    ABW Ambassador erninator's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>I could tell you about a fast food joint where I got sick in the drive thru after chugging a whole bottle of tequilla <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    After my brother-in-law and I put away a pitcher of Kamakazis while trying to bowl we pulled into McDonalds and I asked the nice lady if she had warm buns. Thank god she had a sense of humor.

    On another occasion I polished off a considerable volume of tequilla and drove into a campground at 1:00 AM where we thought our friends were camping. We got out and shook the camper and made bear noises only to be greated by some old fart pointing a shotgun at us.

    Yup, those were the days.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    I got my very first ticket and my motto at age 21 while our DD was driving us around so we could get SMASHED!

    I decided it would be great to moon the next car that came by – it was a cop!

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