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  1. #1
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    A Frenchman, Italian, and Texan were having drinks at a bar and began discussing how to drive a woman wild.

    The Frenchman says,"I begin by caressing her body, oh so slowly. I pour wine on her breasts, stomach, and navel and lick the wine off.
    "Then I nibble on her neck, arms, and stomach, all the time telling her how beautiful she is.
    "When it comes time for sex, my friends, they are WILD!"

    The Italian says,"I begin by gazing deeply into her eyes. I tell her she is the most beautiful, desireable woman in the world.
    "I remove her clothing slowly, caressing and kissing each part of her body as I go.
    "When she is naked, I then take a piece of ice and trace down her throat, neck, breasts and stomach. The cool ice inflames her passion, and she becomes WILD!"

    The Texan, not to be outdone, says,"Well, I tear her clothes off and throw her on the bed.
    "I then take her kneeling, upside-down and sideways.
    "When I am through, I jump up and wipe myself off on their bedroom curtain.
    "Drives them wild!"
    "Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can't...You're right!" -Henry Ford-

  2. #2
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    Hey rick thats a beauty LOL
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

  3. #3
    Affiliate Miester my2cents's Avatar
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  4. #4
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    Typical Bloke Joke lol

  5. #5
    Troll Killer and best Snooper!
    I decide when the pigs fly!
    Rhea's Avatar
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    I don't get it.

    (Please, don't try to explain it to me. I don't wanna know.)

  6. #6
    Eternal Optimist Look4's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rhea:
    I don't get it.
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
    It's much more innocent than it appears:

    Is washing your curtains about the lowest thing on your "stuff I enjoy doing" list?

    It is on my wife's.
    Tom C.
    [URL=http://www.cafepress.com/simplesignshop]Simple Sign Shop[/URL]

    Every day leave someone or something better than you found it.

  7. #7
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    Bad Bad Bad

  8. #8
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    Gosh you women are bloody hard to please.....

    I used Paulines nightie at first and she got real mad....
    next night I used her pillow... wow did that start a fight....
    night after she had a headache .......
    following night I thought I'll play it crafty and use the duvet ..she still went up the wall...
    so last night as a last resort I tried using the curtains.....

    how the hell do I get a hair drier from out of my butt?
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

  9. #9
    ABW Ambassador JJJay's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Gordon:
    how the hell do I get a hair drier from out of my butt? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
    Just plug it in and watch it fly across the room

  10. #10
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    STOP IT GORDON....

  11. #11
    Web Ho - Design B!tch ~Michelle's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Gordon:
    night after she had a headache .......
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Hey Gordon, next time she uses that line on ya, dip your 'friend' in asprin and tell her you have the cure!
    ~Michelle
    "All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy."
    "Work to become, not to acquire." -- Confucius

  12. #12
    Yup, Sure ... now let me check ... Cagles Mill's Avatar
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    Years ago I was in a steakhouse in Lubbock Texas and everything there played up on the idea of how big everything is in Texas: oversized glasses, oversized plates, etc.

    Anyway, when I went to the men's room there were 2 urinals. One had a sign above it that read "Others". The 2nd urinal was lowered down just above the floor and had a sign above it that read "Texans"!
    Rick M.
    I would rather have a bottle in front of me, than have a frontal lobotomy!
    Does your bubblegum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?

  13. #13
    Eternal Optimist Look4's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Gordon:
    how the hell do I get a hair drier from out of my butt? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Be careful in the shower. They don't put those warning labels on hair dryers for nothin'
    Tom C.
    [URL=http://www.cafepress.com/simplesignshop]Simple Sign Shop[/URL]

    Every day leave someone or something better than you found it.

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