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September 11th, 2004, 11:08 PM #1
You all work too much. Read these and lighten up.
La Esposa Compliamente's take on:
1. "Driver Safety" - "I can't use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures."
2. "Life" - "Life is like an oven. It burns my buns."
3. "Housework" - "I do my housework in the nude. It gives me an incentive to clean the mirrors as quickly as possible."
4. "Lawn Care" - "The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless."
5. "The Perfect Man" - "All I'm looking for is a guy who'll do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want, and then go away. Or wait nearby, like a Dust Buster, charged up and ready when needed."
6. "Work" - "My performance at work has really improved over the years. Now I can nail a co-worker with a paper-clip shot from a rubber band at 20 yards."
7. "The Technology Revolution" - "My idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice."
8. "Aging" - "Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a large margarita."
Frank"Just the facts, Ma'am." Sgt. Joe Friday, Dragnet
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