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September 16th, 2004, 11:27 PM #1
In anticipation of the upcoming Christmas season, which will hopefully put a lot of money in all of our pockets, here is my favorite Christmas joke.
It was Chrismas Eve and the mailman was trying to finish delivering all the Christmas mail before the big holiday. The snow was at least a foot deep, the wind was blowing and it was very cold.
As he approached this one house, the door opened and in the doorway stood a beautiful lady dressed in nothing but a see-through neglige. She smiled at him and asked him if he would like to come in and have some coffee to warm up.
He looks the lady up and down and says, "Maam, I should would love to, but as you can see I have all this mail to deliver before Christmas and I just can't spare the time."
She winks at him and replies, " well, if you freeze to death you won't get it delivered." He decides that makes sense and goes inside.
Once inside, the lady not only gives him coffee, but a whole meal with steak, eggs and toast. And the whole time while he is sitting at the table, she is running around in her little see-through outfit getting things ready and driving the mailman nuts.
After he finishes eating, he slings his pouch back over his shoulder and starts to tell the lady thanks before he heads out the door. At this point the lady asks him how would he like to go into the bedroom with her for a while before he leaves.
He tells her, " Maam, I would truly love to, but as you know, I have all this mail to deliver and I just can't spare the time."
She tells him, "Surely you can spare just a little time."
The mailman looks her over again and says, "What the h@ll". He figures how could he be expected to resist such temptation.
So they go into the bedroom and the lady shows him a really great time. Afterwards, as the mailman is preparing to leave and slinging his pouch over his shoulder, the lady hands him a dollar.
He looks at the dollar, then looks at her, looks back at the dollar and says, "Maam, what is all this for? I mean, first you invite me in for coffee and fix me a really great meal. Then you invite me into your bedroom and show me a great time. And now you give me a dollar! Why are you doing all this for me?"
The lady replies, "Well..., you see, last night I asked my husband what we should do for the mailman for Christmas and he said...
'F@ck him! Give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea."
September 17th, 2004, 06:24 AM #2
September 18th, 2004, 10:00 AM #3Travelin' Man
"If you don't know where you are going, any road will lead you there." -- unknown
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