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  1. #1
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Edmonton Canada
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    Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

    A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't
    waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
    your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
    extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
    Take a nap.


    Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

    A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
    corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than
    an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need
    grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy
    vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily
    allowance of vegetable products.


    Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

    A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
    that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
    more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms
    up!


    Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

    A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to
    one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.


    Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

    A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good


    Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

    A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable
    oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables
    be bad for you?


    Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

    A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
    should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.


    Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

    A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!!
    It's the best feel-good food around!


    Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

    A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.


    Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

    A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!


    Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
    about food and diets and remember....................

    "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
    arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to
    skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the other,
    body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO!
    What a Ride!"
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

  2. #2
    Affiliate Miester my2cents's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    far far away....
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
    arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to
    skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the other,
    body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO!
    What a Ride!"
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    well stated!

    JOe
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    that's my2cents, 'cuz I'm a legend in my own mind....

  3. #3
    ABW Ambassador Paul_Ward's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    Cambridgeshire, England
    Posts
    1,573
    No Pain...Good

    I'll remember that one

    It's like the comment "What's that drink/pie/cake going to do to your body?"

    It's going to make it very happy.

  4. #4
    Newbie
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    January 18th, 2005
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    WOO HOO! What a Ride!

    YUP thats the truth

  5. #5
    Full Member Travelin Man's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    409
    Good one! I like the alcohol intake question...although I have to watch it when I'm building pages. They come out a bit hosed up.
    Travelin' Man

    "If you don't know where you are going, any road will lead you there." -- unknown

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