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  1. #1
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    new one!

    The Commission Junction Account Manager is currently unavailable at this time. We apologize for the inconvenience. When the Account Manager becomes available again, your most recent transactions may not yet be posted to your reports. Please allow up to 24 hours for both your Transaction and Performance Reports to be updated.

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  2. #2
    ABW Ambassador Andy's Avatar
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    CJ: The Monty Python Affiliate Network!

    Comedy. All the time. You never know what zany thing we'll do next!

    Andy

    _______________
    Call the Exterminators! We've Got PARASITES!

  3. #3
    ABW Ambassador
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    Somehow I managed to get a peek inside CJ a coupla minutes ago . . . an' lo an' behold there's a $1200 sale and a few others . . . so here's what I think . . . seeing as I've shut my piehole these last few days, I think I'm being paid for that~! whooopie~!

    Thanks CJ . . . the secret it seems is to shut up . . .

    Brian
    aka Cyclone

    Entreprenuer is French for a person who cannot hold a job~!

  4. #4
    ABW Ambassador ktmkiddy's Avatar
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    The ministry of silly walks !!

    And now for something completely different !!!

    Cheer up, Brian. You know what they say.
    Some things in life are bad.
    They can really make you mad.
    Other things just make you swear and curse.
    When you're chewing on life's gristle,
    Don't grumble. Give a whistle.
    And this'll help things turn out for the best.
    And...

    Always look on the bright side of life.

    ARTHUR:
    Who are you?
    HEAD KNIGHT:
    We are the Knights Who Say... 'Ni'!
    RANDOM:
    Ni!
    ARTHUR:
    No! Not the Knights Who Say 'Ni'!
    HEAD KNIGHT:
    The same!


    Malc

  5. #5
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    This is going to be a struggle for Ron

    I work in lounge pants

  6. #6
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    Ive had no problems getting in all day...

    Yesterdays sales were top notch. Todays sales are terrible - about 1/4 normal.

  7. #7
    ABW Ambassador Ron Bechdolt's Avatar
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    quote:
    Originally posted by TrustNo1®:
    This is going to be a struggle for Ron

    I work in lounge pants


    LOL

    I can laugh at all of this because I have been spreading myself out with different networks over the last few months. I'm laughing all the way to the bank! But I'm not laughing at CJ administration. And I feel very sorry for the poor folks at AAQ whom I am sure have been swamped with frustrated emails. They are the ones who earn my respect this week.

    Ron - 7 Days A Week Marketing

  8. #8
    Yup, Sure ... now let me check ... Cagles Mill's Avatar
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    quote:
    CJ: The Monty Python Affiliate Network!

    Maybe it's the llamas that are causing all the CJ problems.
    Or the moose. We can't forget the moose.

    "The crowd has no hands." - Soren Kierkegaard

  9. #9
    Pimp Duck popdawg's Avatar
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    What's wrong with it?

    >>> I'll tell you what's wrong with it. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it.

    No, no it's resting, look!

    >>> Look my lad, I know a dead network when I see one and I'm looking at one right now.

    No, no sir, it's not dead. It's resting.

    >>> Resting? It's stone dead.

    No, no -- it's just resting.

    >>>All right then, if it's resting I'll wake it up. (shouts into AAQ) Hello Network! I've got a nice parasite for you when you wake up, Nelly Network!

    (jogging cage) There it moved.

    >>> No it didn't. That was you lifting a chair off the tracking cable.

    I did not.

    >>> Yes, you did. (logs onto nelly network on his laptop, shouts) Hello nelly, nelly (bangs laptop against counter) nelly network, wake up. nelly. (throws laptop in the air and lets it fall to the floor) Now that's what I call a dead network.


    No, no it's stunned.

    >>>Look my lad, I've had just about enough of this. That network is definitely deceased. And when I logged in to it not half an hour ago, you assured me that its lack of reporting was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long upgrade.

    It's not, it's pining.

    >>> It's not pining, it's passed on. This network is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late network. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-network.

    Well, I'd better replace it then.

    >>>(to camera) If you want to get anything done in this country you've got to complain till you're blue in the mouth.

    Sorry guv, we're right out of networks.

    >>>I see. I see. I get the picture.

    I've got a slug.

    >>>Does it track?

    Not really, no.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------

    With apologies to Monty

    Have you seen my CJ direct deposit?
    Game on!!!! - The DawgFather

  10. #10
    ABW Ambassador Ron Bechdolt's Avatar
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    LOL...Oh, Popdawg, you really need to check your medication level.

    I feel for you, I really do. It is sad when something we are so close to becomes so ill. Perhaps time will heal this illness...perhaps it won't. We can only sit by it's bed and provide support.

    Hang in there Popdawg. Tomorrow is really another day!!!

    Ron - 7 Days A Week Marketing

  11. #11
    Pimp Duck popdawg's Avatar
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    If we can't laugh at it, is it worth doing?

    Yes I really am upset but it's like what happened on the phone today with a rep from my bank who was looking into where my CJ DIRECT DEPOSIT may have been. Serious topic ... light hearted approach really helped.

    She says ... well, wait 24 hours and try again.
    I says ... that's what you said yesterday.
    She says ... yes but this time we mean it.

    A good CSR is hard to find. A good one with a great sense of humor is priceless.

    Btw & for the record ... that last post was an attempt at lightening the mood ... not being critical at CJ. Hope you take it in the spirit it was meant Todd

    Have you seen my CJ direct deposit?
    Game on!!!! - The DawgFather

  12. #12
    ABW Ambassador Ron Bechdolt's Avatar
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    You have not gotten your CJ direct deposit?

    Forget everything else I said this week, this is more important! Have you contacted CJ? They should have a record from your bank that it went through. If not, I'd have then express mail or DHL the check to you at once.

    Hope it works out soon for you. I had an independent that was three weeks late with their $450 check and it finally came today. Heard the owner was in a car accident and evidently the owner is the only one who signs the affiliate checks. Makes me REAL nervous....but the check came. CJ alaways pays, that is the one true good thing about them.

    Ron - 7 Days A Week Marketing

  13. #13
    Domain Addict / Formerly known as elbowcreek Thomas A. Rice's Avatar
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    LOL Popdawg, you'd make a great lumberjack!

    - - - - - - - - -
    I will FOCUS on my goal, and I shall NOT be denied.

  14. #14
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    too funny popdawg !!

    and so appropriate

  15. #15
    Yup, Sure ... now let me check ... Cagles Mill's Avatar
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    quote:
    It's not pining, it's passed on. This network is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late network. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-network.



    It's great to see there are so many Monty Python fans on ABW!

    "The crowd has no hands." - Soren Kierkegaard

  16. #16
    ABW Ambassador Packy's Avatar
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    Popdawg

    Merchant Coincidences, One of the Wonders of the World

    Coincidence Me baby!

  17. #17
    ABW Ambassador ktmkiddy's Avatar
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    quote:
    It's great to see there are so many Monty Python fans on ABW!

    I live in wet and cold England, it's part of our school education. We have classes in silly walks and meaningless monologues !!

    We do..honest !!

    Malc

  18. #18
    ABW Ambassador ToughTurkey's Avatar
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    Thanks popdawg.

  19. #19
    Super Sh!t Stirrer SSanf's Avatar
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    Very darned good!! Excellent!

    Mr.Merchant, if you do business in any way what-so-ever with parasites, your products will not be sold on my sites!!
    Affiliates, before you use CJ merchants, Read This! Comments are to be interpreted as opinion unless otherwise noted.

  20. #20
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
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    When does the fat lady sing at the wake? I tried to send flowers from one of my links, but the damn order got reversed. I only hope they arrived, regardless of the commission. Those attending the wake please let me know if a dozen dandoleins in a Parrot water bottle arrived....the fat lady's song always makes me break down.

    Mike & Charlie ...

    "Payment is one option that isn't negotiable. Merchants require it for purchases ...SO DO WE."

  21. #21
    ABW Ambassador CDC's Avatar
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    I love Python...
    If Haiko ever reopens the "Current Events" forum he should change the name to the Argument Clinic...

    CDC

    DO YOU HAVE A SPYWARY POLICY?

  22. #22
    Member
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    would that be a 5 minute argument?

  23. #23
    ABW Ambassador ktmkiddy's Avatar
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    Having owned a Blue & Gold Macaw for just over 2 years...i've lost count of the number of times i've heard the Norwegian Blue parrot gag !!.....

    it's not ^^!!!***&$^ deceased !!!!!

    Malc

  24. #24
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    PopDawg, may I offer you a "shurbbery" to help???

  25. #25
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
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    Charlie's much to active to ever be mistaken as passed-on. Now the fat couch cat won't even get off his butt when Charlie takes his daily strolls on the floor past the cat to the Kitchen. He helps himself to his favorites in the dry Catfood bowl and washed it down with the cats water. Occassionally he'll bath in the cats water says "Ya wanna piece of Me?".

    They must have mutually worked out a peace deal on this daily endeavor as I've never seen loose feathers or fur balls indicating a fight. Cat had a bad limp for a few days a few years ago and a gouge out on one ear to this day.

    Mike & Charlie ...

    "Payment is one option that isn't negotiable. Merchants require it for purchases ...SO DO WE."

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