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  1. #1
    Pimp Duck popdawg's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
    Take off eh?
    So the wife has gone to a couple of doctors appointments which will keep her out for most of the day.
    I am sicker than a dawg ... get it? Dawg .. Popdawg? .. sigh and am OBVIOUSLY on some good cold medication.
    Our daughter is at preschool and I have to get her at 11. Our boy 1 1/2 is playing quietly and with the miserable night I had, I end up falling asleep.
    My wife, the wonder that she is, knew this would happened and phoned me @ 5 to 11 making sure I was gone, which I wasn't.
    Now in a mad panic, I race to gather the boy and his clothes, find the car keys he was playing with and depart.
    I race to the underground parking, with him in my arms and my head still fuzzy. There I realize he removed the pants I put on him before I went looking for the keys. OK. I can live with that.
    I find an extra pair in the trunk, again wonder that my wife is, she is always prepared, and go back to him where he was sitting nicely in the car seat.
    Of course me being closley related to the legendary Murphy, he had now gone poo in his diaper and had the grand time pulling the diaper off of himself. Now, very late, with a very stinky boy, I desperatly look for something to clean him up with, cover him and go to get my daughter, still patiently waiting at preschool.
    As mentioned previously, my wife is a wonder. She had in the aforementioned trunk, a diaper, a bag, and a large towel with, and I am very thankful for this, a bottle of that hand disinfectant that you rub on.
    Have I mentioned that I love my wife?
    Moving on, the boy is now ... somewhat clean, somewhat clothed ( I had to remove the shirt and coat and replace them with another shirt found in the trunk O' wonder) and I am somewhat on my way.
    Arriving at my Daughter's preschool, I am able to pick her up with only a modicum of fuss from the teacher about being late.
    Thankfully I was now home.
    Now it was time to really clean the boy up, and give him a bath. I yank the diaper off to find he had gone #2 again. Ok but at least I am home to deal with it this time. I have the bath running, and grab him to place him in the tub when he starts staring at his ... um little buddy and commences peeing. On me, and the carpet. To far from the tub, I put a diaper around him and wait for the grand finale. He appears to finish so I (finally getting the hang of the day) wait just a minute longer.
    I pick him up to place him in the tub, and low and behold he now pees on the bathroom floor, on me again and finally in the tub.
    Here is what I have learned.
    When they are done, they aren't.
    My wife rocks.
    If it involves a diaper, and it can go wrong, it will if I am involved.
    My wife rocks.
    We are changing that boys diet.
    and lastly I MISS MY WIFE [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif[/img] (who rocks).
    Sigh, she's only been gone three hours and she doesn't come back for about 4 more.
    Wish me luck

    Game on!!!!

  2. #2
    Super Sh!t Stirrer SSanf's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005

    Can we re-open the nominations for best post of the year?!

    The Wolf Credo: Respect the elders. Teach the young. Cooperate with the pack. Play when you can. Hunt when you must. Rest in between. Share your affections. Voice your feelings. Leave your mark.

  3. #3
    Assistant Regional Manager Rik's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
    New Zealand
    Your wife absolutely rocks.
    Someone needs to turn this story into a short film.

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  4. #4
    ABW Ambassador
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    January 18th, 2005
    Winterpeg, the Mosquito Capital of Canada
    Reminds me from my kid about 7 years ago. Happened to take a poo while being changed. It amazed me how far it came shooting out and across the kitchen floor. (on the kitchen floor only after I got hit with it first and moved out of the way)
    Aren't kids great

    It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

  5. #5
    ABW Ambassador
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    January 18th, 2005
    Funny Funny Story! To bad is wasn't on video, I am sure you could have won top prize on the TV funniest video shows.

  6. #6
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
    St Clair Shores MI.
    And you thought marriage was about sex and not worrying who'd you date on Friday night...
    Hey look at the positive side. Think of all the brownie points you'll have accumulated if they are clean and the house isn't trashed when she finally gets home. You might have enough to get lucky tonight when they're in bed.

    WebMaster Mike

  7. #7
    Defender of Truth, Justice and the Affiliate Way
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    January 18th, 2005
    The Swamp
    Too funny. Nothing like a day alone home with the kids to make you really appreciate your wife. Hope feel better and the house is still standing when your wife gets home.

    Keep Your Hands Off My Cookies

  8. #8
    Domain Addict / Formerly known as elbowcreek Thomas A. Rice's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
    Ah,hahahahahaahlololol, great story!!!!!! I love posts like that, funnier'n heck. Hope you feel better soon!

    I Will FOCUS On My Goal

  9. #9
    Affiliate Manager
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    That's great Popdawg :-)

    Definately a rockin wife!

    Jessica Hutson
    Manager of Affiliate Relations/Development
    Interactive Affiliate Network

  10. #10
    Millionaire on training wheels Justdoit's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
    That is hilarious. After all that sounds like you need a day off.!!
    [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

    As you climb the ladder of success, be sure it's leaning against the right building.

  11. #11
    ABW Ambassador
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005

    Someone said it better than I ever could, so I will simply repeat it....

    Your wife Rocks!

    Hope you get to feeling better soon, and yes - change that boy's diet!


    You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.

    Mahatma Gandhi

  12. #12
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
    Edmonton Canada
    Thanks Popadawg that cheered me up real good, and brought back some memories [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

    Travel safe

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