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  1. #1
    ABW Veteran Student Heyder's Avatar
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    Okay I was debating what I should say but I'm certain this is a must tell.

    I was just working on making a post about how abestweb is the only place I could have spent so much time and felt it was well worth the effort. I was writing how I've received so much guidance, education, friendship and care through our community. I am proud to have been one of the very first members and even prouder to see many if not most of them people are still very active here to this day. It's been a short three years.

    Now for the substance:

    My wife Tina convinced my 2.5 yr old daughter that she should get her daddy to take her on a late night donut run. I didn't want to go and said no when Megan approached me saying daddy bu by me go bu by daddy. Then she got mad and sad and well donuts here we come (1am).

    So we're in the store and picking out donuts taking our time. We drive home and walk in the door. My wife terrified screams Mike!!!! Don't let Megan in the living room. (strange request) Megan runs into the living room and I tried to grab her but missed. I said "what the hell is it now?" (tina "A BAT!!!!!!). So there she is hiding in another room under blankets terrified of a bat. Apparently it made it's way in for a visit just after I left home and she'd been hiding for 15 minuts or better while we took our time shoppping. That'll show her to send me out on errands hehe lmao.

    Okay now the gore and shame. I'm probably more terrified of the fuzzy little winged creatures than anyone in history. I shiver just thinking about them. I would rather take on a Grizzly Bear but well being the "man" of the house I had to do my duty.

    First find the bat. I find it after a couple of minutes in my sons room where he's sound asleep while it's flying over his head in creepy little f*cking circle (eeks I'm getting the creeps again) Okay time to save Bailey's life so I go in there with the bat flying around my head I almost chickened out but hell he's my son so I ran in there grabbed the poor kid up and ran like hell. The bat passed me up in the action and visited Tina again (serves her right). She screams "God Damnit Mike!!" So I run down passing the bat on his way back to my sons room. Slam his door trapping the bat in an empty room. Take a breather wish I had some serious drugs or liquor and go up there for the bravest moment of my life. Me with broom vs bat with wings. After umpteen swings I won and story over but I still can't get myself to take off my baseball cap coat.

    So yeah 5000 posts and this is it.

  2. #2
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    LOL

    That's hilarious. Kudos on the 5000th post and hope there are many more.

  3. #3
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    Guess that means it's time for a smoke

  4. #4
    ABW Veteran Student Heyder's Avatar
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    It was my version of the Olympics I deserve Gold I tell you Gold! 3 hours later and I'm just now calming down. Every friggen shadow had been a bat in my minds eye tonight.

  5. #5
    ABW Ambassador Nova's Avatar
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    I'm sorry Heyder for laughing, but I am not laughing at you!

    I applaud your bravery and hope your kids and your wife appreciate your sacrifice! lol...

    Thank you for sharing your brave story!

    What COC stand for? Crooks Overwriting Commission
    Don't worry tracking is Infected

    Live life to the fullest, You only get 1 chance. Enjoy it while you can... Nothing last forever!

  6. #6
    ABW Ambassador Andy's Avatar
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    How in the heck did the Bat get in? Did you get it out yet?

    Congrats on the 5,000 posts, Heyder!

    Andy

  7. #7
    Affiliate Miester my2cents's Avatar
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    I had a similar experience with a bat....

    I left my bedroom door open... (it opens on to a 2nd floor balcony) when I went to bed...

    duringthe nite... I got up to get a drink of water... when I notice there is something floppy around over head... I turn on the lite... quess what... it's a BAT!!.

    I hate bats...

    Go back to bed and pull the sheets over my head... hoping the damn thing will leave...

    Well about then my cat, Leroy discovers the problem... and decides it's lunch time...

    So he climb on the bed and waits.. and waits, and waits....

    All of a sudden (I feel him leave the bed..) Leroy leaps up at the bat... then I hear two thuds... one loud and one faint... Leroy has stuned the bat...

    Leroy makes thequick recovery... and is on the Bat before the bat even knows what happens...

    I breathe a sigh of relief.. As I dont haveto deal eith the bat problem... so I think...

    Well, Leroy has other ideas... not only does he want a snack.. he wants pets for a job well done...

    So, he jumps back on the bed, to get pets... unbeknown to me with the live bat in his mouth...

    well this is where it got ugly... I reach out to pet, Leroy... what do I get... A hand full of wiggling bat.....

    I came out of my skin... and got mad at the same time...

    Grabbed Leroy and his snack aand pitched them out the door..

    I think Leroy landed on the ground 20 feet below... because i found bat leavings the next morning on the ground.....

    Oh yeah... I ordered a screen door the next morning...

    Joe
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    that's my2cents, 'cuz I'm a legend in my own mind....

  8. #8
    Troll Killer and best Snooper!
    I decide when the pigs fly!
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    We've been hearing noises in the attic lately and figuring it was squirrels we called the humane pest animal removal company. They quoted us $295 to remove and relocate the squirrels. Okay, I thought, small price to pay for peace of mind.

    After they inspected the attic they told me we had bats (identified by droppings) and it would instead cost between $600 and $1500 to remove them! Uh-huh. For that much money I'll get rid of them, thank-you-very-much-and-have-a-nice-day-goodbye.

    Fortunately they're not roosting in our attic, they're just hanging out there at night from time to time. So all we have to do is find the chinks where they're getting in and block them. We're also going to put some bat houses out in our woods in the hope they'll hang out there instead of our attic.

    Anyway, I hope Leroy has had his rabies shots coz bats are a major vector for rabies.

    Congrats Heyder on your 5,000th post. How were those donuts, anyway?

  9. #9
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    Congrats Heyder but, why you're two months older than Charlie and only have ½ the posts?


    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>
    "They quoted us $295 to remove and relocate the squirrels."

    "they told me we had bats (identified by droppings) and it would instead cost between $600 and $1500 to remove them"
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Wow! I think I am in the wrong busine$$

    I see that people will pay a lot of money just to remove some animals from one place.
    When I have to remove a lot of bad links from many different places because a merchant went bad, I don't get pay not even 1¢ for all that work.

    Thanks for that info Rhea, I have a new plan now to reach a $$$ goal.
    No more Affiliate Marketing alone, now I will do Animal Marketing and Removal too.

    Sal.

  10. #10
    ABW Founder Haiko de Poel, Jr.'s Avatar
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    What a batty ,5000th Post!!! Hopefully your next 5,000 will be bat free! Congrats!
    Continued Success,

    Haiko
    The secret of success is constancy of purpose ~ Disraeli

  11. #11
    Troll Killer and best Snooper!
    I decide when the pigs fly!
    Rhea's Avatar
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    Yes Sal you are definitely in the wrong business (and so am I). In fact a couple of years ago when AM was at its nadir I came to realize that I could make more money as a laundress than from AM. Those were some bad times.

    A few days after we moved into this house my husband discovered a very large dead deer on our property. Removing *that* was a nightmare. We've since found out that there's actually a company in our area that removes animal carcasses from private property so next time it won't be such an ordeal.

  12. #12
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rhea:


    We've been hearing noises in the attic lately and figuring it was squirrels we called the humane pest animal removal company. They quoted us $295 to remove and relocate the squirrels. Okay, I thought, small price to pay for peace of mind.

    After they inspected the attic they told me we had bats (identified by droppings) and it would instead cost between $600 and $1500 to remove them! Uh-huh. For that much money I'll get rid of them, thank-you-very-much-and-have-a-nice-day-goodbye. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Whoa, You can get a cat at the pound for about $35. Put it up there with some water and wait a while. (This is sarcasm.)

  13. #13
    Moderator MichaelColey's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mr. Sal:
    Congrats Heyder but, why you're two months older than Charlie and only have ½ the posts?
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Half the posts, but 100 times the content!

    We've never had bats, but we do have problems with snakes. We live in a new development in a fairly rural area, and we typically run across a small snake every few months. The easiest way to get rid of them is with a shovel. Just a quick jab and one snake becomes "two".

    One day, my neighbor called and asked how brave I was. I asked what she needed. She said she had a snake in her back yard. I figured it was just a small one, like the foot-long ones we usually saw. I slipped on my tennis shoes, grabbed the shovel, and headed over there wearing my shorts and a T-shirt.

    What I found in her back yard was about a 5 or 6 foot snake, as big around as my arm. There I was in my shorts, feeling quite vulnerable. It was up next to the house, so it was hard to get a clean shot with the shovel. When I got close, it struck at the shovel. A quick jab and it was over. My heart was racing.

    Next time a neighbor calls about a snake, I'm asking how big it is, and I'm putting on some jeans!
    Michael Coley
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  14. #14
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> The easiest way to get rid of them is with a shovel. Just a quick jab and one snake becomes "two". <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> What a lovely attitude to life.
    I hope you get yours in a similar way when the time comes. What is wrong with paying out a few bucks and let the animals live? do they not have as much right as you to life?
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

  15. #15
    ABW Veteran Student Heyder's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Gordon:
    What a lovely attitude to life.
    I hope you get yours in a similar way when the time comes. What is wrong with paying out a few bucks and let the animals live? do they not have as much right as you to life? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    I feel really bad for killing the bat without good purpose and believe animals deserve to live but they under no circumstances measure up to a human in comparison.

  16. #16
    ABW Ambassador JJJay's Avatar
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    TIP : Next time a bat flies into your house, open the window and close the rooms door. Works all the time. I don't like bats but if it weren't for them we'd be living in insect hell.

  17. #17
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> God intended this world for us not them <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh ok if you say so.

    If there was a God I would think the humans were the biggest mistake he made and I'm pretty sure as soon as he realised how humans had turned out he would rectify it damned quick before we made everything on the planet extinct. I'm saying no more on this subject.
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

  18. #18
    ABW Veteran Student Heyder's Avatar
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    Hey Gordon,

    As you see I changed my post must have been while you were typing sorry for the confusion.

  19. #19
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
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    Congrats on BATTING 5000 heyder
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  20. #20
    Affiliate Miester my2cents's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>

    Whoa, You can get a cat at the pound for about $35. Put it up there with some water and wait a while. (This is sarcasm.) <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    I'll sell Leroy for $25!


    There is noting worse then a cat that want to be petted for killin/catchin vermin... especially when he always wants to show me what he caught...

    Leroy is one siccccck kitty.... he likes to catch birds, rabbits, chipmonks... etc... bring them in the house and let the go so he can play with them befoe he kills them... then eats them...

    imagine steppin in/on dead animal parts as you trek to the bathroom in the dark.... usually inarts..

    Leroy always leaves them in my path to the bathroom....

    Joe
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    that's my2cents, 'cuz I'm a legend in my own mind....

  21. #21
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
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    Sadistic bent cat for sale $25.00, a bargain for Rottweiler owners in just food savings alone.
    Webmaster's... Mike and Charlie

    "What have you done today to put real value into a referral click...from a shoppers viewpoint!"

  22. #22
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by my2cents:
    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>

    Whoa, You can get a cat at the pound for about $35. Put it up there with some water and wait a while. (This is sarcasm.) <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    I'll sell Leroy for $25!


    There is noting worse then a cat that want to be petted for killin/catchin vermin... especially when he always wants to show me what he caught...

    Leroy is one siccccck kitty.... he likes to catch birds, rabbits, chipmonks... etc... bring them in the house and let the go so he can play with them befoe he kills them... then eats them...

    imagine steppin in/on dead animal parts as you trek to the bathroom in the dark.... usually inarts..

    Leroy always leaves them in my path to the bathroom....

    Joe <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    that is funny. Of course, my husky can catch birds (6 in 1 week), rabbits (Look daddy, a rabbit said my 6-year old), and once a squirrel.

  23. #23
    ABW Ambassador Nova's Avatar
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    If only they can talk!


    What COC stand for? Crooks Overwriting Commission
    Don't worry tracking is Infected

    Live life to the fullest, You only get 1 chance. Enjoy it while you can... Nothing last forever!

  24. #24
    ABW Veteran Student Heyder's Avatar
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    "batting 5,000" lmao

  25. #25
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
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    Not all birds fall victim to sadistic cats. Had a friend with a Blue & Gold Macaw ...and a 3 legged cat.
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