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  1. #1
    Affiliate Manager
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    Just Keep Drinking!
    A guy walks into a bar, sits down and says to the bartender, “Quick pour me twelve drinks.”

    So the bartender pours him twelve shots and the guy starts shooting them back really fast, one after another. The bartender says to the guy, “Boy you are drinking those drinks really fast.”

    The guys says, “Well, you would be drinking really fast too if you had what I''ve got.”

    The bartender says, “What''ve you got?”

    The guy says, “75 cents.”

  2. #2
    Domain Addict / Formerly known as elbowcreek Thomas A. Rice's Avatar
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    Good one!

  3. #3
    Member KrisKringle's Avatar
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    January 27th, 2005
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    Good one....but I heard it like this:

    A Sailor walks into a bar. Sitting himself down, he tells the bartender, "Quick, pour me a drink, before the trouble starts." The bartender pours a drink and watches as the man quickly downs it.

    Putting the glass on the bar, the sailor says, "Give me another drink before the trouble starts."

    The bartender pours another glass and the sailor drinks it as quickly as he had the first, before asking for another, again adding, "before the trouble starts."

    After several rounds of this the bartender says, "Look sailor, you've been in here ten minutes and you keep talking about trouble starting. Just when is this 'trouble' going to start?"

    The sailor looks at the bartender and says, "The trouble starts just as soon as you find out that I ain't got any money."


    How about another:

    One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: "Drinks for all on me including you, bartender." So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: "That will be $36.50 please." The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.

    The next night the same drunk comes in again and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. Again the bartender follows instructions and again the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.

    On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for all except the bartender. "What, no drink for me?" replies the bartender. "Oh, no. You get violent when you drink."

  4. #4
    Affiliate Manager
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    Those were pretty good KrisKringle...here's another...

    So this guy walks into a bar and says, "Give me two beers."
    The bartender obliges him.

    The guy looks into his wallet and says, "Give me two more beers."

    So the bartender gives him two more beers. The man went on like this until he had put down ten beers, and keeps on going in his wallet and asking for two more beers.

    So the bartender asks, "What's in your wallet that you keep looking at?"

    So the man opens his wallet and says, "The more I drink, the prettier my wife gets."

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