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  1. #1
    ABW Ambassador Doc Sawyer's Avatar
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    While doing a search, the screen shows this disclaimer:

    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Note: there is a limit to the number of matches that will be returned.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Thank God! I hadn't planned on waiting an eternity for an infinite number of matches.

    A limited number is fine with me...

    Doc


    [edited by Mrs. Farnsworth to change diclaimer to disclaimer]

    [ 06-10-2002: Message edited by: Doc Sawyer ]

  2. #2
    ABW Adviser Panel Dynamoo's Avatar
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    Well, assuming that the sum of all universes and dimensions is infinite then the digital data contained in it must also be infinite (because even if 1% of all inhabitable worlds evolve and invent a worldwide computer system, even 1% x infinity = infinity).

    But given that any search engine can only provide finite results, we know that any finite number divided by infinity is zero, therefore no search engine can give meaningful results.

    Therefore search engines are useless. Sell your stock in search engine companies.

    However, because the amount of data held is infinite, there is also infinite demand for hosting. Before you rush off and buy stock in hosting companies, consider that this also takes infinite bandwidth and storage space, so the startup costs would also be infinite, because even if you hold just 1% share of the market you would need infinite capacity.

    However, if you run a website, you'll have infinite visitors (this wouldn't be a problem because you'd be sharing infinite bandwidth) and therefore you'd get infinite clickthroughs on your banner ads. However, because the mathematics of affiliate marketing have their own rules, you will only make 5 cents a day. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif[/img]

  3. #3
    ABW Ambassador Doc Sawyer's Avatar
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    I have double-checked your calculations and agree with 5 cents per day.

    Air-tight!

    Doc

  4. #4
    ABW Ambassador Doc Sawyer's Avatar
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    I guess it is just me but certain "stupid" signs and warnings defy logic. I find them amusing and make fun of them...

    My "Pet Peeve" is the sign 'Absolutely No Admittance'. Why is there a door? Just put up a wall and be done with it...


    My brother thought the sign "no dogs allowed except for seeing-eye dogs" was stupid because dogs can't read the sign and neither can the blind...

    Reminds me of the joke: One drunk Sgt. Hoo urinating on the Guard Shack.
    Guard says, "Who goes there?"
    "yes, I do"


    Oh well...

    Doc

  5. #5
    ABW Adviser Panel Dynamoo's Avatar
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    If you love stupid signs check out Engrish.com [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

  6. #6
    ABW Ambassador Doc Sawyer's Avatar
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    L O L ! ! !

    Love the "Recent Discoveries".

    Very Stupid Signs.

    Love it

    Doc

  7. #7
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    That is just too funny....Well, I'm off to study my Engrish

  8. #8
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    My favorite stupid sign is on all of the coin operated newspaper vending machines around here.

    "USE ANY COMBINATION OF COINS. DO NOT USE PENNIES."

  9. #9
    ABW Ambassador Doc Sawyer's Avatar
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    My hammer has the obligatory warning label on it: Wear safety glasses

    But the next part confuses me: Do not use this tool to strike hard objects.

    ... So, now I soak my nails in Palmolive.

    Doc

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