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  1. #1
    ABW Ambassador
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Talking Toilet Paper Tax
    Toilet Paper Tax

    "We'll be getting to the bottom of it real soon,"

  2. #2
    Member KrisKringle's Avatar
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    January 27th, 2005
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    Colorado
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    Did someone TP his house?

    Well, the good news is that a lot of people would switch to the old-fashioned leaves to wipe method, sparking an environmentalist revolution. (Corncobs in Nebraska?)

    The bad news, you ask?

    A LOT of people out there can't identify poison ivy.


    Next thing you know, they will be taxing Sears & Roebuck catalogs by the pages. When will the maddness stop....will they try to tax Kleenex during cold season?

    It took 200 years to get rid of the Poll Tax in the South. Now they want a Roll Tax!

    This tax will be repealed as soon as women's groups discover it's regressive - it taxes women more heavily than men.

    ...brought to you by the French Bidet Lobbyists' Association ....

    This from the same legislature that came up with the "no droopy pants" law idea trying to regulate underwear usage!

    News prediction - Sales of ColonBlow will plummet when the Roll Tax is 'passed'.

    Convenience stores on the GA. state line should start stocking up now!

    Hey, the "paperless society" was my idea !

    "Sounds like a pretty cr*ppy bill to me," joked House Speaker Allan Bense.
    This guy is funny. He should be president.

    Boston Tea P Party II - this time instead of dumping tea, they should roll the home of every member of the Florida legislature in toilet tissue!

    Between my wife making catcher's mitt's out of TP and my dog running through the house with a never ending stream of it in her mouth, like she's leading a parade, I'd be able to pay for Florida's entire sewage system.

    At $0.02 per roll, with revenues of $30 million, that's 1,500,000,000 rolls of TP, approximately 94 rolls per person in the state of Florida. Wow, are they full of it.

    ------------------------------------
    Cr*p tax? Since you get a deduction on your federal taxes for any state and local taxes paid, potentially we're gonna have to prove that one to the IRS during an audit?

    "Do you have receipts to prove that you paid $2,500 in cr*p taxes last year? That's like... $125,000 worth of toilet paper!"

    "I have five teenage daughters"

    "You don't have the receipts?"

    "No, but I filled up my basement with used toilet paper. You can roll them back up and count them"

    "Never mind"

    ------------------------------------
    ..channeling George Harrison...

    ("Taxman")
    If you're driving to the Sunshine State
    It'll cost you when you defecate!

    'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman.

    And those of you with drawers that droop
    Will need as much cash as that guy named Snoop!

    'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman.

    If you've got the runs
    I'll tax T.P.
    If we see your buns
    I'll tax B.V.D's
    If it's that time of month
    I'll tax Aunt flo
    If you wipe more than once
    Into debt you'll go!

    Taxman !!!!

    -----------------------




    PS :: *News Flash*

    The Florida Legislature in an effort to increase revenues from the new Roll Tax, has eliminated all taxes on Bran related products.


    thanx 2 dave b.

  3. #3
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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