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  1. #1
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Letter from a Newfie mum.
    Dearest Newfie Son,



    I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast.


    We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within20 miles of your home, so we moved.


    I won't be able to send you the address because the last Gander family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.


    This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since.


    The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.


    Auntie Maude has sent you a pair of socks she knit, she put a third one in because she heard you have grown another foot since she last saw you.


    About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.


    Jimmy locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.


    Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.


    Uncle Bobby fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days.


    Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.


    There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened.



    Your Favourite Aunt,
    Mom
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

  2. #2
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
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    ROLMAO as these type folks breed like rabbits.
    Webmaster's... Mike and Charlie

    "What have you done today to put real value into a referral click...from a shoppers viewpoint!"

  3. #3
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    Good one, Gordon.


  4. #4
    Moderator BurgerBoy's Avatar
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    We framed a picture of your brother in an old toilet seat and put it on the wall. It looks so natural that he looks like he's just sitting there.

    Your sister went ice fishing yesterday and got one but it melted before she got home.

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