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  1. #1
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    Scouse Eggs
    Two Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift. He tells them that he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them.

    He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave.

    The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back with the 20,000 bowling balls, will he take them, so he agrees.

    They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way.

    By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down.

    Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester Police pulls him up for speeding.

    The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies with sarcasm "Scouse eggs". The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so he wants to take a look. He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it.

    He rushes back to his cruiser and gets onto his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible.

    The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that he requires so many officers.

    "I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have already hatched and the f**kers have managed to nick a motorbike already."
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

  2. #2
    Affiliate Manager inflatemouse's Avatar
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    Okay. but what is a scouse?

  3. #3
    ABW Ambassador Snib's Avatar
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    Answers.com,

    Scouse (n): A native or resident of Liverpool, England.
    Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all transgressions.

  4. #4
    Plazan Merchant Neil's Avatar
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    Okay. but what is a scouse?


    that reply was better than the joke, Gordon...

    Scousers are supposed to be the riff raff of the uk

    jokes like ,,,

    what do you call a scouser in a suit ???
    the accused

    the people of Liverpool have unanimously voted to reject the euro.
    A spokesman for the city said in a statement today.
    that they would be sticking to the giro, as it is what we know
    best
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  5. #5
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    LOL Neil I loved the giro joke.

    The Scousers of the 60's 70's and 80's were amongs the worse criminals and most militant union members in the whole of the UK. It was mainly due to them that the coal and shipbuilding industry and many other industies went to pot.

    I must say not all Scousers were that bad though, some of the better educated ones (you know the third and fourth graders) used to dislike the militancy and criminal tendencies of their fellow Liverpudlians. Scousers were reknown for their sense of humour and quick wit which I supose was a neccessity to enable one to live in or around Liverpool in those days.

    One of the most worse cases, not a typical one I must admit but a very nasty one nevertheless was the murder of the young Bulger boy by two young kids I guess they were around 7-8ish when they did it.

    These two assoles are now living in Canada with their true identities hidden. The last I heard was one of them was being given free education at some Canadian university. In my opinion no matter how young they were at the time their crime warranted their deaths or at least that they both died in prison. i think most of the UK residents would agree with me on this as their crime was so bad.
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

  6. #6
    Plazan Merchant Neil's Avatar
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    WELL GORDON.....

    in one swift posting ,,,
    you have managed to take this thread from
    great humor,,, to doom and gloom

    ok,,,, I most defiantly agree about the bulger case...

    now lets get back to the scouse jokes


    how do you get six scousers in a mini ??????

    leave the keys in, and turn your back for 2 seconds,,,
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  7. #7
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    How can you tell when a Scousers lying?
    He's lips are moving

    The only time you see a scouser in a suit is when he's on his way to court

  8. #8
    Plazan Merchant Neil's Avatar
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    I stayed in a liverpool hotel once...
    and the towels were on a chain
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  9. #9
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    I stayed in a liverpool hotel once...

    I had to take my own bed
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

  10. #10
    Full Member markschok's Avatar
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    What do you call a Scouse woman in a white shell-suit?
    The bride.

    If you see a Scouser on a bike, why should you never swerve to hit him?
    It might be your bike.

    Man walks into a shop in Liverpool:
    Man: Can I have a pair of tights for my wife?
    Shop assistant: Certainly Sir, what size head are you?

    from here
    http://www.m-u-f-c.co.uk/jokes/jokes...ategory=Scouse

  11. #11
    Full Member markschok's Avatar
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    A picture of some scousers
    A picture of some scousers attached
    Attached Images Attached Images

  12. #12
    Plazan Merchant Neil's Avatar
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    ABOVE PICTURES, LOL, LOL ,LOL ,LOL
    I have just opened the picture file.. and my wife [who is Russian]
    is sat in the office with me today,,

    has innocently asked ?????
    do they really look like that

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  13. #13
    ABW Ambassador AddHandler's Avatar
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    Stop Picking On The Scousers!

    I am a Scouser..
    And

    NO WE DO NOT ALL LOOK LIKE THAT..

    As a matter of fact I was voted the best looking Scouser 2004!
    http://forum.abestweb.com/member.php?u=17330


    .... LOL ....

    LiverPool ROCKS!

  14. #14
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    LiverPool ROCKS!
    No, in Liverpool they still break rocks LOL

    [edited to add] You are a good looker .............


    for a scouser
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

  15. #15
    Plazan Merchant Neil's Avatar
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    fame
    I REMEMBER YOU ! ! !

    miss liverpool 2004.. but you only just beat,, Sonia
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  16. #16
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    As a matter of fact I was voted the best looking Scouser 2004!


    I'm glad that I just saw that picture now and not last night.
    I can't imagine anyone going to sleep right after seeing that picture and not have nightmares.

  17. #17
    Plazan Merchant Neil's Avatar
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    I can't imagine anyone going to sleep right after seeing that picture and not have nightmares[QUOTE]

    WHAT DO YOU MEAN !!!!

    Most people in liverpool see that every saturday night..

    just go in any bar in toxteth [ toxteth = area in liverpool] LOL

    And go to sleep with them ????

    .......... it is bloody scarey....
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  18. #18
    Plazan Merchant Neil's Avatar
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    I can't imagine anyone going to sleep right after seeing that picture and not have nightmares
    WHAT DO YOU MEAN !!!!

    Most people in liverpool see that every saturday night..

    just go in any bar in toxteth [ toxteth = area in liverpool] LOL

    And go to sleep with them ????

    .......... it is bloody scarey....
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  19. #19
    ABW Ambassador AddHandler's Avatar
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    Was that YOU Neil..??

    "BLOODY SCAREY" that's not what you told my sister!
    From her side of the story there wasn't much sleeping going on anyway..!
    She loved you so much - and you just walked out on her...
    Now your bashing her on this board....
    Look at how sad she looks after losing you..
    http://www.americanaimagegallery.com/ugly.jpg

    You should be ashamed!
    Hurting a beautiful 25 year old girl like that...!


  20. #20
    Plazan Merchant Neil's Avatar
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    i aint got time for this,, LOL..
    it`s 9.30 a.m.. i have a meeting at 10.00.. LOL


    tell your sister i am really sorry
    for what i done..
    after we were finished in that dark lane that night.
    she wondered off,,, with my wallet..
    and i never saw her again,,

    tell her i will be in contact.
    and in the meantime i will send her
    some skin care products, [she needs them]
    and a bar of soap
    ========================================

    what do you call a scouser in a parked car ????

    THE GETAWAY DRIVER
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  21. #21
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    tell her i will be in contact.
    and in the meantime i will send her
    some skin care products, [she needs them]
    and a bar of soap
    Now, now Neil,

    That is what I call find a need and fill it.

    If you can make her look good with your products, you will make a killing on your niche.

    Just make sure to have a before and after picture made of her face, that will be your best testimonial prove.

    But I think that not even Plastic Surgery will be able to help fix that ugly face.


  22. #22
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    LOL! Good joke!

  23. #23
    Plazan Merchant Neil's Avatar
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    lol.lol.lol.lol..

    i will reply to this in due course
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  24. #24
    Plazan Merchant Neil's Avatar
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    if you think she is ugly.............
    did you see the picture
    ADDHANDLER posted...
    that DID....AND I MEAN DID,,,, FRIGHTEN ME..

    anyway i have sent some skin care products to liverpool for my EX,,
    express delivery, she should get them tomorrow?????
    if the postman dosnt nick them.... robbing scousers....
    and i will post a before and after picture in a few days
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  25. #25
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    if you think she is ugly.............
    did you see the picture
    ADDHANDLER posted...
    that DID....AND I MEAN DID,,,, FRIGHTEN ME..
    That is the picture that I was talking about.

    But now it looks like your other gf is ugly too?

    Wow Neil,

    You sure know how to pick them! >---> and , wow!

    Or ............

    Are you just dating ugly things in order to build a good testimonal page later?

    Man, I don't know abou you, but I rather marry an any day, than being seen in public holding hands with any of your two latest experiments.




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