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  1. #1
    Sgt. Joe Friday frank3iii's Avatar
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    Dear Mr. CJ
    Dear Mr. CJ,

    Thanks for sending the check on time.

    There was, however, a small problem... the envelope wasn't sealed.

    Grandma was miffed about this. Her words:
    "...and further more, you can tell that CJ guy that he'd better get on the ball. Tell them gals in the mail room to link the damn flap!"

    Seems like she had been waiting on this check so she could buy a box of washing powder. Grandma says..."If that check had been absent from it's rightful place, you'd just have to turn your bloomers wrong side out and wear them as a 'fresh pair of dirty ones'."

    I'm sure you can see the urgency here. So please, Mr. CJ, have someone give the envelope a small lick before they toss it into the out box.

    Very Sincerely and Truly Yours,
    Frank

    On a serious side.....the thought of having to turn my skivies BACK around for next week is more than a man should have to contemplate.

  2. #2
    Member
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    There is DD
    Quote Originally Posted by frank3iii
    Dear Mr. CJ,

    Thanks for sending the check on time.

    There was, however, a small problem... the envelope wasn't sealed.

    Grandma was miffed about this. Her words:
    "...and further more, you can tell that CJ guy that he'd better get on the ball. Tell them gals in the mail room to link the damn flap!"

    Seems like she had been waiting on this check so she could buy a box of washing powder. Grandma says..."If that check had been absent from it's rightful place, you'd just have to turn your bloomers wrong side out and wear them as a 'fresh pair of dirty ones'."

    I'm sure you can see the urgency here. So please, Mr. CJ, have someone give the envelope a small lick before they toss it into the out box.

    Very Sincerely and Truly Yours,
    Frank

    On a serious side.....the thought of having to turn my skivies BACK around for next week is more than a man should have to contemplate.
    Mr. Frank,
    Why don't you use Direct Deposit?
    It is works for me and I am sure for other affiliates as well.

  3. #3
    Moderator BurgerBoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by voloda
    Mr. Frank,
    Why don't you use Direct Deposit?
    It is works for me and I am sure for other affiliates as well.
    If you don't want them to have information to access your main bank account just open another free account with a $25.00 mininum (or whatever) required to keep it open.

    Have your direct deposits sent there and you clean it out after every deposit and don't keep anything in it except the minimun and there is nothing to steal if someone dishonest tries to take money out of it.

    That's what I do. It works great.

  4. #4
    Affiliate Manager
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    For an additional "small licking fee" you can get your envelopes sealed

  5. #5
    Member Chocolate_Chicken's Avatar
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    "If you don't want them to have information to access your main bank account"

    Get real.

    If they were inclined to "steal your money", they could simply divert it without its ever being credited to you in the first place.

  6. #6
    ABW Ambassador
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    this is actually more a problem of linkshare. envelopes sent to the wrong addresses because two envelopes got stucked together, and oh yes, single but unsealed envelopes are common. though i have to give them credit - unreceived checks represent only a minute tiny winny number compared to the total number of checks, and they are fast and eager to replace them without any hesitation or prodding.

  7. #7
    ABW Founder Haiko de Poel, Jr.'s Avatar
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    I heard CJ cloned the LS hamster that licks the envelopes, but it's under going a medical review for parasites for a 60 days like screensavers should under go! ... Like it really takes 17 days or 60 for that matter to see the horsehockey

    =============
    Hi Danny! How's that vaseline working out for ya?

    Are you a 5 affiliate yet?
    Last edited by Haiko de Poel, Jr.; April 23rd, 2005 at 11:07 PM. Reason: Yeah Im tired and had to edit this post more than once :(
    Continued Success,

    Haiko
    The secret of success is constancy of purpose ~ Disraeli

  8. #8
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by waytogo
    this is actually more a problem of (censored). envelopes sent to the wrong addresses because two envelopes got stucked together, and oh yes, single but unsealed envelopes are common. though i have to give them credit - unreceived checks represent only a minute tiny winny number compared to the total number of checks, and they are fast and eager to replace them without any hesitation or prodding.
    So WTF, another problem on that network?


  9. #9
    ABW Ambassador DesignerWiz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haiko de Poel, Jr.
    I heard CJ cloned the LS hamster that licks the envelopes, but it's under medical review for parasites for a under a 60 day review like screensavers ( should under go! ) ... Like it really takes 17 days or 60 for that matter to see the horsehockey [Hi Danny! How's that vaseline working for ya? ].
    Ray Thomas
    Webmaster Resources: http://DesignerWiz.com
    ABW Board Category: Programming / Coding
    http://forum.abestweb.com/forumdisplay.php?f=190

  10. #10
    Sgt. Joe Friday frank3iii's Avatar
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    ROFLMAO.

    I thought I'd have a little fun with this, but you guys are better at it than I am.

    I remember several threads over the years about missing checks and think this may be a part of the problem.

    @Chet...I think they already got my 'Licking Fee' for this month. There is a six day gap in sales there.

    @Haiko...I took a shot at that hamster. Missed him tho. It is the one with the black body and white stripe down his back, right?

    As for direct deposit. I won't until I have no choice. I like to feel the check, fondle the envelope, dream about the time when there are three more zeros at before the decimal.

  11. #11
    Super Sh!t Stirrer SSanf's Avatar
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    The rumors about the cloned LS hamster are greatly exagerated! CJ does have a full time staff member who licks envelopes. Unfortunately, since hiring the envelope licker they can no longer afford glue!
    Comments are opinion unless otherwise noted. Remember, pillage first. Then burn. Half of all people in the world have IQs under 100. You best learn to trust ol' SSanf!

  12. #12
    Member Chocolate_Chicken's Avatar
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    His job description got changed. He is now Paul's boot licker.

  13. #13
    ABW Ambassador
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    CJ has always been a bunch of good lickers. Maybe they got an ex LS employee
    http://forum.abestweb.com/showthread...highlight=lick

  14. #14
    Moderator BurgerBoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chocolate_Chicken
    "If you don't want them to have information to access your main bank account"

    Get real.

    If they were inclined to "steal your money", they could simply divert it without its ever being credited to you in the first place.
    Have you ever heard of dishonest employees working for a company and getting access to things (like Bank Account Information) that they are not suppose to have access to and then using it for their personal gain (without) the company being aware of it?

    What about a hacker getting into their servers and getting your bank account information?

    It happens all of the time and could even happen to you some time.

    Just watch the news. You see things like this happening on it all of the time.

    You should always cover your own all of the time because no one else is going to cover it for you.

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