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  1. #1
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    a few clean jokes about children
    Why We Love Children

    1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.

    "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.

    "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child
    innocently.

    You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

    "You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't
    move."






    2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father.

    Five minutes later....."Da-ad...."

    "What?"

    "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"

    "No, You had your chance. Lights out."

    Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."

    "WHAT?"

    "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"

    I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"

    Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."

    "WHAT!"

    "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"






    3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"

    The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says,
    'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"





    4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice

    "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

    The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

    A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."






    5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said,

    "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?"

    The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone,

    "Yes, and my Mom says it's a ***** to iron."





    7. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself,

    "Two plus five, that son of a ***** is seven.

    Three plus six, that son of a ***** is nine...."

    His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"

    The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."

    "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.

    "Yes," he answered.

    Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"

    The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

    The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a ***** is four?"

    After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered,

    "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."






    9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."

    Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."

    The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"

    She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."






    10. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?"

    Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough."

    The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

  2. #2
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    a few clean jokes about children

    Gordon,

    Please, stick to the dirty jokes or keep posting on the Cj forum.

    I find it more interesting when you're in there fighting with , than this post.

    Don't tell me that now you're a born again whatever because those 10 (Why We Love Children Jokes) Suck.

    Just go back to the old dirty old Gordon and make us smile.


  3. #3
    Plazan Merchant Neil's Avatar
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    a few clean jokes about children
    its funny you say that Sal..
    then i read the thread headline..
    and it was gordon posting,,
    the first thing i thought was ,,,,, YEH SURE.. clean jokes,, from gordon,, not a chance..
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  4. #4
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    the first thing i thought was ,,,,, YEH SURE.. clean jokes,, from gordon,, not a chance..
    As long as there are Parasites alive, Gordon won't make a clean joke.

    Neil,

    At first, I was surprised too because it was a joke from Gordon, but you know what they say....

    When some people see a nun, they say there goes a lady in a penguin suit, but since I knew that the thread was made by Gordon and not by Pauline, that is why I advise Gordon to stick to the dirty jokes or keep posting on the Cj forum.

    Sal.

  5. #5
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    OK guys point taken, apologies all round, no more clean ones from me again LOL
    I cannot post too much about or I might get shouted at. I know for sure if I ask a question it will not be answered so why wear out my typewriter keys? LOL
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

  6. #6
    ABW Ambassador Paul_Ward's Avatar
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    They made me laugh - thanks Gordon.

  7. #7
    Plazan Merchant Neil's Avatar
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    you know last week we were haveing a great time getting stuck into scousers... then gordon went all serious on me

    you know its greek easter today where i am,,
    maybe he has had a vision from above,,
    and seen the errors of his ways LOL...
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  8. #8
    Chick with Brains Tracy's Avatar
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    I liked them too. Especially the little boy and the drink of water. I really needed a good, out loud laugh today.

    Gordon, please continue telling clean jokes.

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