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  1. #1
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    Edmonton Canada
    Posts
    5,781
    Beware!!
    Take whatever extra precautions
    necessary so this does not happen to you!

    Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were
    stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on. While the kidney story
    was an urban legend, this one is not. It's happening every day.

    My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was
    just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone
    else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who
    would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years?
    Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire
    summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned
    myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose.

    Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My butt
    was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match
    my new rear end (although badly attached at least three inches lower
    than my original) to the thighs they stuck me with earlier. Now, my rear
    complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long
    skirts would stay in fashion.

    It was two years ago when I realised my arms had been switched. One
    morning I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated as
    the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the
    hairbrush.

    This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced one section
    at a time. How clever and fiendish.

    Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up,
    unnoticed, something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked repeatedly
    and without warning.

    In despair, I gave up my T-shirts. What could they do to me next? My
    poor neck disappeared more quickly than the Thanksgiving turkey it now
    resembled.

    That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on the medical
    profession by myself. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee.

    That really isn't plastic that those surgeons are using. You KNOW where
    they are getting those replacement parts, don't you?

    The next time you suspect someone has had a face "lifted", look again.

    Was it lifted from you?

    I think I finally found my thighs .. and I hope that Cindy Crawford
    paid a really good price for them!

    This is not a hoax. This is happening to women in every town every
    night.

    WARN YOUR FRIENDS.

    P.S. I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts.
    I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed I was
    relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept.
    Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

  2. #2
    A Real *and* Darn Cool Member! lstolze's Avatar
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    March 23rd, 2005
    Posts
    822
    LOL!!! Thanks for the laugh, Gordon! Hehe!! That's what happened to me after I had my son...
    ~Lisa - Brilliant Mastermind, or Nut? You decide!

  3. #3
    Freaky story man! However, did you know that on some countries kidneys are being sold by poor people just to survive? Some are even forced to sell their teeth and eyes!

  4. #4
    Member Nature's Avatar
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    May 10th, 2005
    Posts
    69
    Lol

  5. #5
    Resident Genius and Staunch Capitalist Leader's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    12,817
    Strange, I always thought the theives started with the hair and replaced black hair with gray, one strand at a time!
    There is no knowledge that is not power. ~Hemingway

  6. #6
    Eternal Optimist Look4's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    Home base: Pennsylvania
    Posts
    438
    Quote Originally Posted by Leader
    Strange, I always thought the theives started with the hair and replaced black hair with gray, one strand at a time!
    The hair thieves who have been attacking my scalp are much bolder. They seem to just abscond with 10 or 20 strands a night and don't even leave any replacements. They're halfway back on my scalp already!
    I used to look like this: but now I just look like this: so I walk around like this: more often now.
    Tom C.
    [URL=http://www.cafepress.com/simplesignshop]Simple Sign Shop[/URL]

    Every day leave someone or something better than you found it.

  7. #7
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Posts
    6,795
    I used to look like this: but now I just look like this: so I walk around like this: more often now.



    You have guts,Tom!

    There is no way in hell that I will admit all that special privilege info about me on a public forum, are you crazy?

    Specially after I have seeing all of those good looking new chicks avatars around here.





  8. #8
    Eternal Optimist Look4's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    Home base: Pennsylvania
    Posts
    438
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Sal


    You have guts,Tom!

    There is no way in hell that I will admit all that special privilege info about me on a public forum, are you crazy?

    Specially after I have seeing all of those good looking new chicks avatars around here.



    Nah, I'm happily married to the most wonderful woman in the world (or at least I think so) so I'm not concerned with the impressions I make on all the ladies around me. So I'm going bald - as along as my wife still pinches my butt at the grocery store I'm happy.

    Beside, all the ladies said Jean Luc was the real heart throb - Riker may have been good for some gymnastics, but Piccard was the one that had the experience to give them what they really wanted.
    Tom C.
    [URL=http://www.cafepress.com/simplesignshop]Simple Sign Shop[/URL]

    Every day leave someone or something better than you found it.

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