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  1. #1
    Moderator BurgerBoy's Avatar
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    Talking Mr. Sal's F.A.R.T M.A.R.T
    Well - I hear that Mr. Sal has a new domain - fartmart.c om.

    He is going to be offering whoppie cushions and t-shirts.

    One t-shirt will have F.A.R.T on it in big bold letters and in small print under it it will say - Farthers Against Radical Teens.

    The other t-shirt will say M.A.R.T and under it will say - Mothers Against Radical Teens.

    Not only that - but - If your wife or GF and you both wear your t-shirt at the same time and your wife or GF is walking with you on your left side - people approaching you from a distant will be able to only read - F.A.R.T M.A.R.T - and every one wearing them will also be walking advertisment for his website.

    That is brilliant Mr. Sal.

    I sure wish I had thought of that instead of you.

    Mr. Sal - Please tell us more about it - and - are you going to offer an affiliate program with your new website.

    I'm sure a lot of us will want to join.

    Please tell us more about it.


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  3. #2
    Moderator BurgerBoy's Avatar
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    Perhaps some of you other affiliates have some questions to ask Mr. Sal.


  4. #3
    ABW Ambassador netnow22's Avatar
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    nope

  5. #4
    Affiliate Manager Allen Nance's Avatar
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    not me, I got poop not just hot air...

  6. #5
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    Mr. Boy,

    You better get in touch with some lawyers from California if you want to win this one.

    Unless you buy that domain now for 10k, I will take you to the and I will put a lien on all of your joins out there and you will have to move from Kentucky, because Kentucky is for KFC and not for , so you better before my and some show up at your some time this week.

    You forgot to read the before you started to about the fart.

    Run to your or use the in the but, you must get in with some lawyers from California or you will be broke and soon if you don't pay me my today.

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  8. #6
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    LOL Mr.Sal no wonder it takes you 3 hours to do a post.

    Please don't stop doing it we love em
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

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  10. #7
    Moderator BurgerBoy's Avatar
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    Well Mr. Sal.

    I was wondering if you were ever going to see this thread and reply to it with a similie reply.

    We like it when you do that.

    It keeps us all laughing when we are having a ty day.

    Boy you got me this time.

    I'm never going to this one.

    Your is on the way to you in the right now.

    You never did tell us if you were going to have an affiliate program though.

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  12. #8
    Plazan Merchant Neil's Avatar
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    LOL.
    No wonder you have so many therapists in the states,
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  13. #9
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
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    As far as I know http://www.fartmart.com/ and Smelly Farts don't have an affiliate program or I'd be there. Now if Mr. Sal, Gordo and Poopie Nebert wanted to team up with me and Charlie we could slide a competitor into this explosive market. I've seriously research this and have a real ebiz and killer cross marketing plan. We just buy MorgueFarts.com and setup shop complete with a upload forum from pretend or real morticians. We allow visitors to RANK the MP3 submittals and even have themed threads like "Let it RIP" "Cript Clips" and a Hall of Flame. Flood the affiliate sites with banners like ..." If you really have a deadly one -goto MorgueFarts.com... or "hardly Silent -but Deadly!. Get Farts.com to recropical link the sites as we contract with them for drop shipping their regular unique crap with a mirrored catalog.

    We need some exclusive branded products to sweeten the cross marketing/traffic deal. I'd suggest a line of Smells from the Crypt or we can contract with Essential Apparel's Akiva to OEM a line of drop shipable "SkidMark" briefs (already perminently stained) for men and a complimentary line of "Skids for Her" undies. (a freebee PSC wold be appreciated) The site spokesperson would be a guy aptly named Skid Marks or Mark Skids


    Site Slogans abound like "They ain't Dead ...til they're buried" and we could compile the top 20 all timers into a mini-cd and have some Adwhore direct mailer package them along with their AOL CD's as a promo bonus. TV Ads on "6 Feet Under" and the other Morgue shows are optional expenses.

    Your input on this money making project is gratiously solicited as a way to leverage the power of the internet to reach this lucrative gag gift market. If you think this is offensive, just because you always fall for that "pull my finger" or "peek under the covers" routines you might not have the necessary MBA degree in marketing. MBA doesn't mean "More Bad Advertising".
    Last edited by BurgerBoy; May 31st, 2013 at 07:37 PM.
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  14. #10
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    You are one heck of a sicko Mike.........

    Guess thats why I love your posts
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

  15. #11
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    Your input on this money making project is gratiously solicited as a way to leverage the power of the internet to reach this lucrative gag gift market.
    Mike,

    After a seriously analysis of your MorgueFarts.com idea proposal, I have come to the conclusion that this might indeed, be a hell of a good marketing plan on this explosive market.

    That business plan sound much better than the Adwhore Network or the AdwhoreUnlimited.com that was on the table before.

    As for the tracking, we will not have to say that "Tracking Won't Be Affected." Since a good beans preparation will guarantee success!

    We won't need to use cookies, we will use smoke, so as long as no one else fart before the customer exit the shopping cart with their bag full, "The Smell, Will Never Be Affected"

    I will talk to my lawyers in the morning to make sure that BurgerBoy don't disappear with my money and as soon as I get my cash, I will be calling you to start on the MorgueFarts venture.

  16. #12
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
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    This is a serious money making deal Gordo deserving closer scrutiny. It's not like I'm asking you to fill aerosol cans the hard way ... or ship products. I need input, not output, to impliment this ebiz plan. I also need some sleep!
    Webmaster's... Mike and Charlie

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  18. #13
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
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    Smile
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Sal
    Mike,

    After a seriously analysis of your MorgueFarts.com idea proposal, I have come to the conclusion that this might indeed, be a hell of a good marketing plan on this explosive market.

    That business plan sound much better than the Adwhore Network or the AdwhoreUnlimited.com that was on the table before.

    As for the tracking, we will not have to say that "Tracking Won't Be Affected." Since a good beans preparation will guarantee success!

    We won't need to use cookies, we will use smoke, so as long as no one else fart before the customer exit the shopping cart with their bag full, "The Smell, Will Never Be Affected"

    I will talk to my lawyers in the morning to make sure that BurgerBoy don't disappear with my money and as soon as I get my cash, I will be calling you to start on the MorgueFarts venture.
    Careful consideration has been given to the legality of this venture already Mr. Sal. The copyright and Patent laws don't cover farts of the living ...or dead. Now tapping the traffic http://www.alexa.com/data/details/?url=www.farts.com and adding MorgueFarts.com visitors to their flat line should allow enough negotiation traction to leave Skid Marks. Save the legal fees for the investment pot ( not pottie). My prior domain plans were to have Haiko and ABW donate B-a-HO.com as a community project. That one is a floater compare to this brain storm.
    Webmaster's... Mike and Charlie

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  19. #14
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    Guess I will have to patent the secret recipe for the ultimate party food: Beans, Prunes & Hard Boiled Eggs.

  20. #15
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by webworker
    Guess I will have to patent the secret recipe for the ultimate party food: Beans, Prunes & Hard Boiled Eggs.
    Thanks,

    You just reminded me of this old post: http://forum.abestweb.com/showthread.php?t=15704



  21. #16
    ABW Ambassador erninator's Avatar
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    Hi,
    I am the webmaster for naag.com (National Association of Amateur Gynocologists). I enjoyed visiting your website. A link exchange would be a great benefit to the visitors of both of our sites. Please add our link and email us with your link info. I'm looking forward to your reply.
    ~Ernie

  22. #17
    Plazan Merchant Neil's Avatar
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    I think its a stinking good idea
    count me in, where do i send the money for my share.
    i think we will come up trumphs.
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  23. #18
    notary sojac Herb ԿԬ's Avatar
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    Wink limerick
    There was a young fellow from Sparta
    Who could flatulate ballads and airs,
    He could blow out a Mozart Sonata;
    even accompany musical chairs.
    One night he attempted an opera.
    It was hard, but he just wouldn't quit;
    with head held aloft --
    --he suddenly coughed --
    and collapsed in a mountain of
    (sweet violets)
    (chorus)

  24. #19
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Herb ԿԬ
    There was a young fellow from Sparta
    Who could flatulate ballads and airs,
    He could blow out a Mozart Sonata;
    even accompany musical chairs.
    One night he attempted an opera.
    It was hard, but he just wouldn't quit;
    with head held aloft --
    --he suddenly coughed --
    and collapsed in a mountain of
    (sweet violets)
    (chorus)
    Herb you need to save this great SERP content for the MorgueFarts.com forum unless you think poetry is a waste of web space. I estimate we could be this off the ground for the price of a case of beans, or dinner for 5 down at Taco Bell or WhiteCastle.
    Webmaster's... Mike and Charlie

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  25. #20
    Eternal Optimist Look4's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ecomcity
    I can't believe it - I actually understood everything Mike wrote. That's the first time that's ever happened to me. Unbelievable!

    Anyway, I'd really like to get my hands on some of the products under consideration. I'm particularly keen on aerosol products. Can't tell you how many times I wished I could produce some "air freshener" while walking past a table of obnoxious smokers on the edge of the no-smoking section of a restaurant (thanks Steve Martin!). Keep a small can on your keychain for those never-ending visits to the in-laws - just market it under the name "The dog did it". Or how about some industrial strength cans for police who need to "flush out" a hidden criminal.

    Oh, the possibilities are endless, and so are the puns.
    Tom C.
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    Every day leave someone or something better than you found it.

  26. #21
    notary sojac Herb ԿԬ's Avatar
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    >>>aerosol products

    I seem to recall (from a distance) products on the market like that, in the novelty stores.

  27. #22
    Plazan Merchant Neil's Avatar
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    are you going to do anything with this idea ??

    or are you lot just blowing hot air ....LOL.
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  28. #23
    Sinclair Oil Lurker Jones's Avatar
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    how about...
    fart-tarts.com - an especially aromatic pastry

    fart-parts.com - parts of the body that make fart sounds

    fart-bombs.com - for the prankster in all of us - forget water balloons, and pillow fights, those are for sissies!

    ROFLMAO!

  29. #24
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
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    Neil it's a viable cross marketing ebiz plan involving drop shipping. Who other then Farts.com would want to sit on that type of inventory. We're just expanding the verticle and tapping traffic. Heck, treat it as a liberal environmental cause, since the Farts.com forum members (while not sniffing bicycle seats) need another outlet (or PortaLet) to express themselves. It's a politically neutral international product line as GWB could use the industrial strength items to soften up prisoners at Gitmo and/or send some SkidMark stepins to Saddam for his next photo shoot.

    Affiliate enabled this could be a clean winner as the product demographic would never inspire any value-add for info peddlers. The expansion and personalization capabilities are endless. Porn-Farts.com opens up the seedy side of affiliate marketing and HillBillyFarts.com can be co-sponsored by Beer companies and pickled egg distributors with a side deal to sell Jeff Foxworthy & The Cable Guy albums.
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  30. #25
    notary sojac Herb ԿԬ's Avatar
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    Cool
    it do go on . . .

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