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June 28th, 2005, 08:08 PM #1The Great Paradox
Billy Joe Six Pack came home one day from work, and exclaimed to his wife, "HEY HUNNY! Let's git us one thayum thar compooters so we can serf the web!" Bee sides, they sey that the emale is free and we can send letters to all our cuzins and freyunds. [Billy thinks, "main, I cood look at all thayum nekked pitchers, and look at sexy moovies, and th' ol' leddy wudn't haf to know!"]
As the story goes...
Billy's wife, while he is at work, finds the great benefit of anonymity in an online chat room, and finally meets Jim Bob. She learns that Jim Bob is really Roy, the waiter at that fancy new restaurant in the neighboring county. She and Roy chat, then make the BIG MOVE one day when Billy is at his job at the local textile mill. Billy's wife now has a use for the computer, too...
One day, Billy exclaims to his adulterous wife (unbeknownst to him), "Hey Hunny, lits mek us one thayum home pages so every wun can look et us online". She challenges Billy and his sixth grade education with the question, well hell Billy! hoo es gunna mayuk th' dayum thang! an' doint tham thangs cos' munny?" Billy exclaims that his friend Tommy (Roys brother, btw) says they can make a free one on angelfire.com, and it real simple...
Well, wouldn't you know Billy and his home page never took off, but his wife started tinkering around in the web shell, learning html from web monkey, and the tutorial at anglefire. One day, while finally learning what that funny "a href= thingy does, and posting a picture of her, Billy and the kids, along with links to her favorite chat rooms, she eyes a small banner: "Make Money With Your Website - click here!" and she does. She eventually signs up with the BeFree Network and starts plastering Google's penny a click ads with 50 dollar min., and American Greeting Cards ads (for those of you who remember) all over her 500KB one pager she has now made (with no help from Billy, or course)...
She sits and waits. Every five minutes she logs into her account to see how much money she is making, which her balance remains at zero. THEN, out of nowhere, she eyes the ad, "Drive Traffic to Your Website - Submit your site to over 500 search engines FOR FREE"! She understands she has made a website that no one can find. She falls for the spam trickery and get five thousand emails in a span of an hour inviting her to all those search engine sites (ffa link farms)...
One day she finally performs a search in Google (after they walked out on paying affiliates - for those of you who remember) typing in the search term, "MR and Mrs. Billy Joe Six pack personal home page" - and her site comes in at number ten on the results page! She is elated! She signs up for all the affiliate networks, and joins ABW (of course). She learns, she grows, she is now, at this point, waving her CJ train whistle in front of Billy...
WHAT! she types in her website url into Google search, and a hundred variations of "MR and Mrs. Billy Joe Six pack personal home page" and can't find her site on any of the results page. Her BeSeen hit counter has now stopped - she has no visitors. She crys...
But, there is hope. She finds out about ppc search engines and bids vigorously through OverSure. She is now broke, her site penalized, and her dreams of making money while she sleeps is over.
The Great Paradox
The same entity that created a would be self employed person is the same entity that destroyed her.
June 29th, 2005, 01:20 PM #2
- Join Date
- January 18th, 2005
- St Clair Shores MI.
Look at the brightside. Her lover boyfriend is making a killin shillin her naked photos on some porn sites. My advice is she should take some of that PPCSE money and buy her Hubby a beer can opener.Webmaster's... Mike and Charlie
"What have you done today to put real value into a referral click...from a shoppers viewpoint!"
June 29th, 2005, 02:28 PM #3lol
yep. The whole point is, that the same entity that built us tries to screw us, too.
June 29th, 2005, 03:55 PM #4
So, she's the only one cheating - but they're both getting screwed, heh.Following everyone else is a GREAT way to become average.
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