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  1. #1
    Member
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    Stupidity Awards
    My favorite is the very last one....Just proves that Karma is a biatch.

    1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during
    a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....





    2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

    3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his Vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

    5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

    6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

    7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

    8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

    9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast . The man, frustrated, walked away.

    10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
    Last edited by cmayr23; June 29th, 2005 at 05:08 PM. Reason: spacing was messed up
    Chris Mayr
    When amassed, even dust can become a mountain.

    There is a finite amount of intelligence but an infinite amount of stupidity in the universe

  2. #2
    Merchant Linda's Avatar
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    Good ones!

  3. #3
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
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    Darwinism at it's best ...ROLMAO
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  4. #4
    Eternal Optimist Look4's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cmayr23
    9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast . The man, frustrated, walked away.
    I'm assuming this was not Michael Douglas.
    Tom C.
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  5. #5
    ABW Ambassador JJJay's Avatar
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    LOL, I read a similar story to number 10, this one happened in the UK, I'm sure I posted in on ABW once. Here another one, from todays news.

    11, A 43-year-old man who suffered injuries in a road accident in southern Poland today died when he fell out of a helicopter transporting him to the hospital, according to local police. The man jumped up from a stretcher in the helicopter and attacked a male nurse before opening the door and falling to the ground from a height of 65ft. Medics on the ground were unable to revive the man, whose name was not released.

  6. #6
    Member Chocolate_Chicken's Avatar
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    A few years ago there some guy robbed a convenience store at gunpoint and the clerk tried to discourage him; "we have video cameras running..." etc. etc.

    The guy says "So what! They'll have to get up pretty early in the morning to catch JOHN BOW!"

    The cops looked up his address in the phone book and picked him up.

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